Would this be considered as love/sacrifice?

[sadgirl2002]

I'm on the road to recovery but whilst doing so, I wonder if staying alive for somebody would be considered as a sacrifice and love? What does everyone think? I'm in such a situation where I'm willing to suffer as life goes on for that one person.

 

[oopswronglife]

Doesn't work. If you cannot stay alive for yourself you cannot stay alive. You have to be YOU 24.7 and another person can't be your reason. They can add to the quality of your life and it can make a HUGE different for you, but if they are your only focus you will and up resenting them or be hurt by them when they don't measure up or you don't measure up.

In my view love isn't how YOU feel about someone...it's how you treat them, and is done properly when its done FOR others not for yourself. If you are using it as a way to feel like you are doing something good then it won't hold up. The best we can hope for is to be loved in the way we choose to love another.

 

[ScorpiusDragon]

I'm on the road to recovery but whilst doing so, I wonder if staying alive for somebody would be considered as a sacrifice and love? What does everyone think? I'm in such a situation where I'm willing to suffer as life goes on for that one person.

I'm in this situation now. I don't know the answer though.

 

[BeenDoneForSoLong]

This is an extremely toxic and unfair mindset to have. You can't consciously be putting the the enitre weight of your life on another person it's unfair and no one wants it.

You're not making some great sacrifice by 'staying alive' for another person. That's total bullshit. This mindset is an effective way of leading yourself into the worst kind of manipulation. I've been on both ends, in one way or another.
Just stop
No one owes you for staying alive for them; if someone clings to someone and tells them that they're the ONLY reason that they haven't ctb, it would destroy them, even more so with that 'im making a great sacrifice for you' bullshit. Please try to escape this mentality, it's so so so toxic.

 

[GinaIsReady]

In my view love isn't how YOU feel about someone...it's how you treat them, and is done properly when its done FOR others not for yourself. If you are using it as a way to feel like you are doing something good then it won't hold up. The best we can hope for is to be loved in the way we choose to love another.

I agree with you that it's not a reason that would be sustainable for the long term, and would add that it just COULD happen (you NEVER know) that while he is staying alive and living for this other person, some other reason from within him could develop and it could serve him in a very positive way. You never know.

 

[sadgirl2002]

Just to clarify for everyone - the reason I'm staying alive for is to be there FOR him. I certainly didn't want to live but I can't leave him all alone here especially when he has no one. I don't feel big headed at all nor do I think I'm doing him a favour, I feel the complete opposite and I don't have that kind of mindset. I'm not gaining anything from doing this, I just want to make his life better. My reasons to ctb are endless but he is the only thing that made me stay and is continuing to make me stay. I'm not manipulating him at all, I know what it feels like to be manipulated by someone, telling me they will kill themself if I didn't do what they wanted. I just can't leave him all alone here...

I agree with you that it's not a reason that would be sustainable for the long term, and would add that it just COULD happen (you NEVER know) that while he is staying alive and living for this other person, some other reason from within him could develop and it could serve him in a very positive way. You never know.

Thank you so much for this, it is for a positive way. Btw, I'm a girl :)