Story Would you commit suicide in my situation?

[imdone]

Male. Young age (in my 20s). Tall and good looking. Athletic. Smart and liked by girls. Never got health or mental problems until this point. A "normal" life.

One (damn) day lifting weights just happens that I injury myself at my lower back. I got a little back pain (quickly vanished) and ...erectile dysfunction. That didn't vanish.

Yes. I'm being completely impotent for two years out of nothing. I visited countless doctors, I made any imaginable exam. I spent thousands euros. Nothing. Pharmaceuticals do absolutely nothing. Like the nerves got burned.

It's more than one year now that I'm 100% suicidal. Not that I ever thought of sex itself being the most important thing in my life, but I think love is; I wanted to get a family and now I'm condemned in solitude for the rest of my miserable life. I wanted a normal family, I'm not interested in asexual people or other things. Just a normal family like millions on the earth.

Top of all I just can't cope with the idea of my body not working properly. I have no other thought than my disease. I feel a subhuman in respect to everyone. I can't have any sort of social interaction anymore. I quit my job (I still live with parents), I quit keeping in touch with friends, I quit going out of home. I barely find the strenght to eat now and then.

I just want to kill myself.

Any thought is appreciated.

 

[Ampsvx123]

Cannot relate as I have no desire for posterity let alone force life upon anybody, it's not a gift, it's the most selfish act there could ever be. This said, there exist no bad reasons for wanting to put an end to this illogical nonsense, none.

 

[GoingSoonish]

You could adopt? There are lots of children that need loving homes. This way you aren't gambling with anyone else's life by bringing them into existence.

 

[Rollo]

Do you have a sexual desire though?

 

[creatureoflight]

No, I wouldn't kill myself over this. Sex is totally overrated and relationships can be a bitch. I'm in a relationship and sometimes wish I were single as I have little libido.
I live with constant chronic pain that no doctor can help me with-to me, this to me is more of a reason for suicide.
But I am not here to judge anyone. It is your body and your decision!!! I am really sorry about what happened to you. I'm so jealous of who you were-you are everything I ever wanted to be-male, good looking, young and healthy before all this happened. I have always hated my body and being female and not really fitting in with mainstream culture.

 

[Comatose11]

I wouldn't as I have a low libido. I tried a few relationships and they aren't thing, so I can't relate. However, none of us will judge your reason.

 

[imdone]

As far as adopting, it's not what I want. It's not really about having kids, what I wanted was first of all a mate for life with whom eventually have kids. Not a desire of posterity as much a desire for family. I think I know I'm not saying much, I think I can't express it better :(

I think everyone should have the opportunity to put on a family, because by ourselves alone in solitude life is hard, it is like a desert without borders, where we are wandering with no destination.

It's not that I've always had a "perfect" life such as I didn't already know sadness and solitude. In my teenage years I was alone and unsatisfied (because of my body, soft attitude, being shy, etc.), but never to the point of depression. I accepted everything as part of life and worked hard on myself for years to build confidence and relationships. That wasn't really ever a problem but a spur to stay strong. And maybe it's been that experience that feed that desire inside me to be never again alone and to be happy.

But now everything fell down. And maybe only now I truly see the misery of life.

As far as sexual desire, yes I still have it, I'm still very attracted by women and can't satisfy in any way. And, cruel irony, It appears I'm even attractive myself to women, much more than I was when younger. Not actually relevant as of now, because as I said I barely leave my home anymore, I left my job, I left the gym and I eat completely random...

 

[Tiburcio]

If you want, you can. It's a choice. The reasons are put by you, not by others. Isn't stupid, you can do what you want, dying or still living.

 

[Rollo]

Well I for one don't eat random - I eat whatever the hell I wish for. Called Mariusz Pudzianowski diet ) I mean in your situation you need to solicit as much joy as possible from life so at the very least you can satisfy your taste buds without guilt

When you say 'can't satisfy' do you mean you can't satisfy your desire or that you can't satisfy a woman?

 

[imdone]

When you say 'can't satisfy' do you mean you can't satisfy your desire or that you can't satisfy a woman?

Both things sadly.

As for eating, I've never been much into food, I used to eat healthy and for fitness. Almost always the same things. So I'm not really able to look at food as a pleasure. Now that I don't care anymore about fitness, I don't even care anyomore about what I eat. I eat very little and only when I'm hungry.

 

[imdone]

No, I wouldn't kill myself over this. Sex is totally overrated and relationships can be a bitch. I'm in a relationship and sometimes wish I were single as I have little libido.
I live with constant chronic pain that no doctor can help me with-to me, this to me is more of a reason for suicide.
But I am not here to judge anyone. It is your body and your decision!!! I am really sorry about what happened to you. I'm so jealous of who you were-you are everything I ever wanted to be-male, good looking, young and healthy before all this happened. I have always hated my body and being female and not really fitting in with mainstream culture.

Frankly, if I should ever live another life, I would choose to be a female this time lol.
So much less work needed to be accepted and desirable, providing genetics are ok, otherwise I'm out :) (but this is true also for males)

 

[Rollo]

Both things sadly.

As for eating, I've never been much into food, I used to eat healthy and for fitness. Almost always the same things. So I'm not really able to look at food as a pleasure. Now that I don't care anymore about fitness, I don't even care anyomore about what I eat. I eat very little and only when I'm hungry.

Well I submit to you then that you're missing out on food. Food is one of life's major joys. So since you're at the time cut from one, maybe look for others. I too eat only when I'm hungry - it's just food have to be whatever I wish for, have to taste good.

I wonder - if you can't satisfy your desire anyway why you're not interested in asexual women?

 

[No Future]

You have the answers, my man.

I accepted everything as part of life and worked hard on myself for years to build confidence and relationships. That wasn't really ever a problem but a spur to stay strong. And maybe it's been that experience that feed that desire inside me to be never again alone and to be happy.

For all the stigma, comparisons to others and self hate you might be experiencing, you're still the same person that overcame those experiences. If you're determined, you can still abide by that philosophy. It'll be tough, but you wouldn't be asking the question if you thought there was no way out.

Worried you won't satisfy a lady? A working cock can get in the way, more often than not. Believe me: men who rely purely on their cock for sex are commonly insecure. A dick is but a drop in the sea of ways you can get someone off. Women generally will attribute the overall experience to YOU - not your pecker (women might need to back me on this, as I'm a straight guy!).

Love is still incredibly attainable, as long-term attraction is built on fondness of character and ongoing respect. Not sex. Meaningful relationships aren't out the window at all. Many things people cite as necessary for functional, happy relationships are superfluous, it's all relative to the people involved.

Rebuilding confidence will be the hardest thing in overcoming this, if you choose to. I'm not here to sway you (the choice should always be yours), but to highlight possible options based on the information you've provided. If you choose, and if you fight, I believe you could still have the life you crave.

 

[Comatose11]

Frankly, if I should ever live another life, I would choose to be a female this time lol.
So much less work needed to be accepted and desirable, providing genetics are ok, otherwise I'm out :) (but this is true also for males)

Not necessarily true but ok

 

[Comatose11]

You have the answers, my man.


For all the stigma, comparisons to others and self hate you might be experiencing, you're still the same person that overcame those experiences. If you're determined, you can still abide by that philosophy. It'll be tough, but you wouldn't be asking the question if you thought there was no way out.

Worried you won't satisfy a lady? A working cock can get in the way, more often than not. Believe me: men who rely purely on their cock for sex are commonly insecure. A dick is but a drop in the sea of ways you can get someone off. Women generally will attribute the overall experience to YOU - not your pecker (women might need to back me on this, as I'm a straight guy!).

Love is still incredibly attainable, as long-term attraction is built on fondness of character and ongoing respect. Not sex. Meaningful relationships aren't out the window at all. Many things people cite as necessary for functional, happy relationships are superfluous, it's all relative to the people involved.

Rebuilding confidence will be the hardest thing in overcoming this, if you choose to. I'm not here to sway you (the choice should always be yours), but to highlight possible options based on the information you've provided. If you choose, and if you fight, I believe you could still have the life you crave.

I second this. I'm a woman and can't speak for all women, but a lot of us can't stand it when men try to use their cock to attract us. We are more attracted to other things about who you are as a person.

 

[imdone]

I second this. I'm a woman and can't speak for all women, but a lot of us can't stand it when men try to use their cock to attract us. We are more attracted to other things about who you are as a person.

I'm perfectly aware of this. When I was in a relationship, it has always been a matter of liking each other, having common traits, etc.. Sex was not even a matter of discussion before the actual act. I don't put sex above everything nor I like women that do, but at the same time I cannot think of a relationship without traditional sex. I also have still a high libido, so it's quite a hell because I feel that need.

And as I said, I just don't feel adequate anymore, I feel subhuman. I hate myself by I don't have material means to change.

 

[No Future]

Frankly, if I should ever live another life, I would choose to be a female this time lol.
So much less work needed to be accepted and desirable

No, mate. That isn't true or accurate in the slightest.

 

[creatureoflight]

Frankly, if I should ever live another life, I would choose to be a female this time lol.
So much less work needed to be accepted and desirable, providing genetics are ok, otherwise I'm out :) (but this is true also for males)

what? No way! I would never recommend being female to anyone (maybe except transgender people if they want that). Periods, stigma, being weaker than men and so more of a rape target, sexual violence, pregnancy, raising kids, being more prone to migraines and a bunch of other conditions, living longer (not a worthy goal to spend 4 more years in a nursing home, thanks). Maybe in the next life you can be a good looking and healthy female-otherwise it's just a bunch of trouble.

 

[Depressed]

Male. Young age (in my 20s). Tall and good looking. Athletic. Smart and liked by girls. Never got health or mental problems until this point. A "normal" life.

One (damn) day lifting weights just happens that I injury myself at my lower back. I got a little back pain (quickly vanished) and ...erectile dysfunction. That didn't vanish.

Yes. I'm being completely impotent for two years out of nothing. I visited countless doctors, I made any imaginable exam. I spent thousands euros. Nothing. Pharmaceuticals do absolutely nothing. Like the nerves got burned.

It's more than one year now that I'm 100% suicidal. Not that I ever thought of sex itself being the most important thing in my life, but I think love is; I wanted to get a family and now I'm condemned in solitude for the rest of my miserable life. I wanted a normal family, I'm not interested in asexual people or other things. Just a normal family like millions on the earth.

Top of all I just can't cope with the idea of my body not working properly. I have no other thought than my disease. I feel a subhuman in respect to everyone. I can't have any sort of social interaction anymore. I quit my job (I still live with parents), I quit keeping in touch with friends, I quit going out of home. I barely find the strenght to eat now and then.

I just want to kill myself.

Any thought is appreciated.

I am in the exact same boat as you, believe me I know how much it sucks. I have the same fears as yours. I have never been suicidal in my life until this erectile dysfunction shit began even though my life was a hard one. I guess what I am trying to say is, erectle dysfunction is not the end of the world, but it makes for a good reason for wanting to suicide. Thid is of course just my opinion.

 

[Justanotherconsumer]

It sounds like a nerve blockage, id go see a chiropractor.

 

[Dani Paradox]

At least you still have your dick, dude... But I totally get it.

 

[imdone]

It sounds like a nerve blockage, id go see a chiropractor.

I also did this. Did nothing :(

 

[Ashpac]

you could always get a penis implant like i did, i had the same problem.

 

[imdone]

you could always get a penis implant like i did, i had the same problem.

Well... no. I just couldn't cope with the idea. Wouldn't make me feel better.

 

[Santiago]

Cannot relate as I have no desire for posterity let alone force life upon anybody, it's not a gift, it's the most selfish act there could ever be. This said, there exist no bad reasons for wanting to put an end to this illogical nonsense, none.

Generalizing much?
Life is a beautiful gift for a lot of people.

 

[Tiburcio]

Generalizing much?
Life is a beautiful gift for a lot of people.

That joke is really good

 

[Santiago]

That joke is really good

Or you know you could just put your feelings aside for just one second and think rationally before posting a comment.

 

[DrHouseMD]

Male. Young age (in my 20s). Tall and good looking. Athletic. Smart and liked by girls. Never got health or mental problems until this point. A "normal" life.

One (damn) day lifting weights just happens that I injury myself at my lower back. I got a little back pain (quickly vanished) and ...erectile dysfunction. That didn't vanish.

Yes. I'm being completely impotent for two years out of nothing. I visited countless doctors, I made any imaginable exam. I spent thousands euros. Nothing. Pharmaceuticals do absolutely nothing. Like the nerves got burned.

It's more than one year now that I'm 100% suicidal. Not that I ever thought of sex itself being the most important thing in my life, but I think love is; I wanted to get a family and now I'm condemned in solitude for the rest of my miserable life. I wanted a normal family, I'm not interested in asexual people or other things. Just a normal family like millions on the earth.

Top of all I just can't cope with the idea of my body not working properly. I have no other thought than my disease. I feel a subhuman in respect to everyone. I can't have any sort of social interaction anymore. I quit my job (I still live with parents), I quit keeping in touch with friends, I quit going out of home. I barely find the strenght to eat now and then.

I just want to kill myself.

Any thought is appreciated.

Dude, go gay. Maybe you will find what you want!
Or wait a little more, someone will discover ehat you have..

 

[imdone]

Dude, go gay. Maybe you will find what you want!
Or wait a little more, someone will discover ehat you have..

Not sure if serious :/

 

[Tiburcio]

Not sure if serious :/

Surely it was not serious.

But now really, if sexual orientation was something possible of change I would recommend it too for several reasons. (The main one is being unabled to do straight sex)