Would you have wished to Die even on the Best Day of your life?

[noname223]

For me it depends.

Rationally, I know I experienced insane existential pain and there is a high risk involved due to the fact that I am bipolar that this condition returns. With Bipolar awesome feelings can be treacherous and be very damaging in the longrun.

In the Moment I might want to live. But if I got the offer to disappear from one moment to the next with no SI involved it would be attractive. I have again my hope up with a woman. But oh Shit I know my feelings will get hurt.

Just ceasing to exist dying when you sleep with no fucking tormenting forth and back. Thinking can be so painful. Always calculating your next steps trying to predict chances. Fighting with your own biggest fears and hopes.

 

[yukiovos]

With no SI, a relativly average day could turn to be the "best day of my life" if i know its my last and aĺl i have to do is fall asleep to get this over with. The sense of freedom and relief without the everyday mental torture of fighting with SI would feel amazing.

 

[darkest]

if it's painless, then absolutely any time any day, I did think about this a lot of the times that I'm "at my best" and I think to myself "would I still want to die right now?" and yes, yes I always do say I wouldn't mind as long as it's painless.

 

[my endless blue]

Well, i'm pretty much alone. I don't care if I live or die, even though to live is to deal with too much pain.
I wish I could go back to the past where I had so many people by my side and die right there.
I would die happy, with a smile on my face.

 

[ma0]

I always want to die, but I don't always think about it.

If it really was "the best day of my life" I just wouldn't be thinking of CTB. It's not like I'd actively say "Wow, I really want to live right now" because I wouldn't be thinking about it.

 

[ijustwishtodie]

I don't really know what the best day of my life has been but yes, I would still wish to die even on my best day. I personally value the prevention of the bad more compared to the lack of perpetuation of the good

 

[Praestat_Mori]

No. I never wanted to die and especially not on the best day I ever had in my life. I never spent thoughts about suicide only after I failed big in life.

 

[CogitoMori]

No. I wish my partner would've just stepped in to help and I wouldn't have gotten burnt out and I'd still want to live

 

[Namelesa]

If this best day of my life was just a one off good day in the middle of bad ones then yes I would still wish to die. I mostly likely just feel anxious about the good day ending and know that I will be back to suffering again so if the option to painless die was there for me on that day I would take it.

 

[eternallyluna]

If this best day of my life was just a one off good day in the middle of bad ones then yes I would still wish to die. I mostly likely just feel anxious about the good day ending and know that I will be back to suffering again so if the option to painless die was there for me on that day I would take it.

Thank you for sharing. I can relate to a lot of what you're feeling.

Whenever something good happens or I have a good day, I feel sad. Sad for the reasons you stated above - I know the good day will end and there is more suffering in store.

And that sucks because I can't even enjoy the good things/days because I'm sad and anxious about them ending since they are so few and far between. The few fleeting good moments or days are nowhere near enough to outweigh the bad ones.

 

[pthnrdnojvsc]

The best day of my life today could lead to tomorow the worst day anyone has ever had. so would that best day be worth it to you going through the worst day anyone has ever had tomorow? never . i guess people don't realize how bad pain and suffering can get and that there is not any symmetry between the ridiculous pleasurable addictions and the worst pain possible . there isn't. there is pain so bad it makes everything else meaningless. there is no separation between the pleasurable addictions and the worst torture they are both part of the same evil and one leads to the other.

however if i instead kill myself today then i avoid the worst day tomorow . i would be not existing tomorow which is the ultimate perfection because only in non-existence forever i can't suffer and nothing matters then.

so yeah i want to day any day no matter what happens under any circumstances. nothing will ever change my mind.

i guess most humans in this technological world in which the horrors of life are more hidden haven't suffered extremly or constant unbearable pain that is a billion times worse than you can imagine. and they think they are immune to having very horrible things happen to them . why else would they be ok to allowing the monsters making all guaranteed exits out of this hell crimes . why would anyone allow creeps to take away your right to choose when you can leave evil life and this horrible prison world?

to the abyss with anything in this evil life and evil world and their stupid pleasurable addictions

 

[Forever Sleep]

I haven't actively wanted to die on better days but, I've still found myself asking the question: 'So, do you still want to die now?' So long as it was passive- death would just happen to me, I think my answer was always- 'I'm ok with dieing now.'

Probably because I knew my better mood wouldn't likely last long. Maybe also because I've done a lot of the things I wanted to do. So, I'd maybe feel at peace with going with very few regrets. I've felt 'done' for a while now.

Actually making death happen via suicide is a whole other matter though. I'm not really sure which mood would be most conducive to going ahead with it.

 

[Rhymester]

Always thought it was better to die when you're happy, when you're surrounded by friends and family. I feel like it's better to die when you're happy, rather than dying when you're at your lowest. I should have died when I was happy. Now I will be dying in pure pain and misery. As one philosopher said, all because I was born.

 

[Forveleth]

If, on the best day of my life, I knew how my life would end up eventually, I would absolutely die that day. I was in a beautiful place and if it was the last place I saw, I would not be even the slightest bit apprehensive to die.