Discussion Would you still choose to live if you were in a relationship or married without kids?

[idelttoilfsadness21]

I'm asking this because people believe this is all it takes and it can help someone's life, other than money, their mental health, and giving them a chance at life, other than a job, and equally asking because people believe childless marriages are also better for some odd reason and couples are happier together, and nothing can go wrong…

What is your opinion on this?

For me, I'd still ctb because I was so miserable and so unhappy being in a relationship and hated my existence and I hated anyone telling me to get a boyfriend and when I did, I was so depressed and trying for him… :((

 

[Shadows From Hell]

I was married for 10 years and still suffered from hell all through the marriage. Thoughts of suicide still haunted me through those years, and she knew of my issues before she married me. Somewhere along the way, she decided it would be fun to mock and taunt me about my depression and suicidal thoughts.

So I got even with her by leaving her on the day of our 10th wedding anniversary. She learned quick what depression and having suicidal thoughts feels like. Didn't last long though, she remarried not long after divorce was finalized.

 

[raskol1980]

My dad's friend CTBa couple of years ago. Was in her 50s have twins (20 something by this point I think). She had battled MH issues for most of her life. Over a few days she gave her husband and children what seemed (retrospectively) long hugs and a couple of days later found her hanged in her room.

I have a young girl I've know from birth (I lodged with the mother, nothing romantic). I love this little girl so much, she was my little shadow for the first 3 years of her life. She's the face I see when I'm close. She hates me now because I say 'No' and try to teach consequences. In my most lost moments I think my death might help her learn about life and death. I'm rambling

 

[Hotsackage]

I am all for this life thing, but no way in hell do we deserve to survive an apocolypse

 

[Namelesa]

Maybe if the relationship was stable and good for me as I would feel like I matter to my partner and I am of worth to them and provide something to them and there isn't pressure of it breaking up. I would need to get over my fear off abandonment and be less of an emotional burden first for that to happen. I wouldn't want to have children anyway as I feel like I wouldn't be able to handle the responsibility of it. I would still want to ctb at some point tho as I think life is too long.

 

[pthnrdnojvsc]

i don't need nor want any kind of relationship with any human.

No one can convince me there is an objective reason why i have to want a relationship or to live or to do anything. there isn't any.

but before i learned about what life and this world really is and suicide became my main goal these still would be reasons to avoid relationships:

there is the immense pain of romantic breakup that there is no reason to risk. just like evil life relationships can cause pain and there was no need for it.

i don't want to be emotionally dependent on another human or depend even emotionally on. i don't want anything taking time from my real goals

plus seems to me relationships cause constant suffering " did i say something wrong or that they wouldn't agree with " , " will they leave me" , "why didn't they text back", "should i text them" , cringe feelings, awkardness,

i'd rather be alone and relax than put on some act to behave as a human would expect me.

id rather be able to do and say what i want to when i want to

 

[onthefence]

Even if my circumstances were to change I would still be my messed up self with no hope of recovery.

 

[divinemistress36]

Those that say a relationship will make them want to live . I dont get it . Its not guarranted that person will stay with them and what if the person cant handle their mental health issues?

 

[Ashes of a Dreamer]

No, once there are people who kill themselves even being engaged/married. Relationships aren't the solution for everything, as there are many which increase the suicidal tendencies; nonetheless, it's true that having a good one plays a significant role to decrease the act itself.

 

[Alexei_Kirillov]

A relationship wouldn't stop me from CTBing in the long-run or make me stop having suicidal thoughts (regression to the mean applies here), but I do think it would considerably prolong my life to love and be loved.

 

[Forever Sleep]

I could see it going either way. I began leaning towards antinatilism in my 20's, so that's out. I think bringing children into this and watching them (inevitably) struggle with my genes and upbringing would break my heart. I may be less likely to actually CTB though. My Mum died early on in my childhood and I've never really gotten over it. I wouldn't want my children to go through that. I'm only thankful I don't have that to consider.

If I had a partner though, I'm just not sure. I can imagine being happier but, maybe that's just a fairytale idea. I can also imagine feeling the same or worse. I wouldn't fancy having to hide how I feel over a prolongued period and I imagine realistically, you may have to. How long can a person remain sympathetic? Won't they just become tired of it in the end? Or, irritated? How will they respond even? Will they try to help? What if they can't though? How will that make them feel? I could see myself pretending that they'd helped to make them feel better while feeling exactly the same, except more lonely. Ironically, I think I could end up feeling less alone on my own than being with someone who doesn't understand. Plus, I don't want to create another tether for myself here.

That's just the ideation side of things. There are also practical reasons I think I may actually be better off alone. Really up until my mid 30's, I really wanted a partner. Maybe, as I realised that all my crushes were crazy limerence and I did my best to put a stop to that, it felt so nice to be free of all that longing. Maybe shedding that longing for a specific person lead me to shed my longing for a relationship in general. I really started to value my independence.

Plus, I looked around at other couple's relationships (which were comparitively good) and thought- there are lots of elements to that I wouldn't enjoy at all! Partners criticizing and humiliating one another. Sometimes in public. All the bickering. The possible insecurity. Even resentment. I've seen all that in healthy marriages. I dread to think what the unhealthy ones look like!

So, I probably convinced myself I'm better off this way. I can't know for sure but, I'm glad the longing for it has gone mostly. Also, I'd absolutely choose to be single over being in a bad relationship. And, plenty seem to have unpleasant elements to me.

 

[danny10]

I'm asking this because people believe this is all it takes and it can help someone's life, other than money, their mental health, and giving them a chance at life, other than a job, and equally asking because people believe childless marriages are also better for some odd reason and couples are happier together, and nothing can go wrong…

What is your opinion on this?

For me, I'd still ctb because I was so miserable and so unhappy being in a relationship and hated my existence and I hated anyone telling me to get a boyfriend and when I did, I was so depressed and trying for him… :((

I have a loving wife and we have a 1 year old daughter, yet I am still continouosly thinking about CTB. I feel that I am a horrible person because I want to CTB even though I live in a truely happy marriage with our daughter. Feel really ashamed because I love my daughter and my wife, yet I cannot escape CTB thoughts. :(

 

[idelttoilfsadness21]

I have a loving wife and we have a 1 year old daughter, yet I am still continouosly thinking about CTB. I feel that I am a horrible person because I want to CTB even though I live in a truely happy marriage with our daughter. Feel really ashamed because I love my daughter and my wife, yet I cannot escape CTB thoughts. :(

This is the most saddest thing I've read on here so far regarding the tough decision to ctb and the last person I interacted with didn't want to ctb for her mother in fear of hurting her due to her awful sister… Hold on, there, sir dad! You are supported to do what you must for yourself, but you are equally supported her to recover slowly through your feelings and how it has been affected. I am so sorry this world has been such a pain to you for this long