derpyderpins
In the Service of the Queen
- Sep 19, 2023
- 1,899
In law school I had this professor with the most stereotypical, over the top midwestern accent you could imagine. He would always tell us "you have to think DEEPER," with emphasis like that. Good professor. I'll explain what he meant.
So in law you get that there will be some case at a local level: john sues susie for something. One of them wins, it gets appealed up to a higher court, say the supreme court. The Supreme Court then will tell everybody what the rule is. If you are called on and asked to discuss the case for the class, there are levels of depth:
Something along those lines would be an exchange. (Simplified.)
So, I tell you, you have to think DEEPER about life. Don't stop at a conclusion that is sad and ugly.
We get into how normal people don't understand us a lot. They don't understand why someone would be suicidal. They don't think about the ugly parts of life (or aren't faced with them.)
This leads to the "normie," "NPC" rhetoric that you hear sometimes:
And there's some truth to a lot of those ideas! People can be frustratingly selfish. A lot of people just follow trends. Working conditions (and a lot of other things) aren't fair. There is a lot of ugliness in the world. So, once you're someone who has thought about life more deeply than the average person, you start to see all of this badness and ugliness. Then, when someone tells you that "nah, life is good," the instinct is to reject it. 'They just haven't gotten as DEEP as I have, that's why they say that.' And that thought isn't necessarily wrong.
The problem is, that our mind needs to get a workout to improve. We need our ideas to be challenged. But once you've decided everyone who disagrees with you is invalid from the start, you stop improving. You don't think any DEEPER. So, you get to this point where you are DEEPER than the average person, but now you've stagnated, and the place you've stagnated is not fun at all.
If your suicidality is brought about by an existential type of dread, I recommend you consider that you haven't thought deep enough. That is my experience.
This is not meant to be taken literally, but I thought of this meme and had to make it for this post:
Not saying anyone is low IQ, it's just a joke. And very much the path I went through in life. Young and naive: life is beautiful. Start to think deeper and see some shit: life is ugly. Now, I see that through all the ugliness there is still beauty. That doesn't mean everyone's life is worth living. That doesn't mean I'm changing my stance on assisted suicide. It just means I now know that it is possible for life to be worth it.
A progression like this.
Stage 1:
This post might not be for everyone, and I get that. But, for my friends who are stuck in their heads, thinking DEEPER just might help get you through.
So in law you get that there will be some case at a local level: john sues susie for something. One of them wins, it gets appealed up to a higher court, say the supreme court. The Supreme Court then will tell everybody what the rule is. If you are called on and asked to discuss the case for the class, there are levels of depth:
- The Supreme Court says John wins. "Okay, but think DEEPER. Why did John win?"
- Well, because Susie did X at Y time. "Okay, but think DEEPER. Why does that mean John wins?"
- Uh, well you can't do X at Y time. "Okay, now even DEEPER. Why can't you?"
- Um, well the Court had said in this other case a couple years ago that you can't. "Okay, but why?"
- Well, there is Z principle of law that has to be followed and the court made the rule to fit with that and blah blah. "Good!"
Something along those lines would be an exchange. (Simplified.)
So, I tell you, you have to think DEEPER about life. Don't stop at a conclusion that is sad and ugly.
We get into how normal people don't understand us a lot. They don't understand why someone would be suicidal. They don't think about the ugly parts of life (or aren't faced with them.)
This leads to the "normie," "NPC" rhetoric that you hear sometimes:
- They're brainwashed
- Oversocialized!
- Don't think for themselves!
- Can't think!
- Cope!
- Sheep!
- Low IQ!
- Nobody cares about anyone else, they're all just out for themselves.
- Death is a 0 which is better because there's no pain. (Yes, it has been brought to my attention that I used to buy into this argument that I now find silly.)
- Death is beautiful, life is ugly. It's all suffering.
And there's some truth to a lot of those ideas! People can be frustratingly selfish. A lot of people just follow trends. Working conditions (and a lot of other things) aren't fair. There is a lot of ugliness in the world. So, once you're someone who has thought about life more deeply than the average person, you start to see all of this badness and ugliness. Then, when someone tells you that "nah, life is good," the instinct is to reject it. 'They just haven't gotten as DEEP as I have, that's why they say that.' And that thought isn't necessarily wrong.
The problem is, that our mind needs to get a workout to improve. We need our ideas to be challenged. But once you've decided everyone who disagrees with you is invalid from the start, you stop improving. You don't think any DEEPER. So, you get to this point where you are DEEPER than the average person, but now you've stagnated, and the place you've stagnated is not fun at all.
If your suicidality is brought about by an existential type of dread, I recommend you consider that you haven't thought deep enough. That is my experience.
This is not meant to be taken literally, but I thought of this meme and had to make it for this post:
Not saying anyone is low IQ, it's just a joke. And very much the path I went through in life. Young and naive: life is beautiful. Start to think deeper and see some shit: life is ugly. Now, I see that through all the ugliness there is still beauty. That doesn't mean everyone's life is worth living. That doesn't mean I'm changing my stance on assisted suicide. It just means I now know that it is possible for life to be worth it.
A progression like this.
Stage 1:
- People are nice!
- Living is fun!
- I'm so excited for the future!
- Never mind. People are awful. They're oversocialized sheep who will stab you in the back and only look out for themselves.
- Life is a chore. You work so much of your life away the rest of it isn't worth it.
- There's nothing to be excited about, we all die.
- People are flawed. Many are frustrating and won't behave as you want. Still, genuine connections are worth the effort.
- Life is really tough, and way too much of it is work. But experiencing this world, and the sensations and opportunities it offers . . . well, it may not even things out, but I want to pursue it while we have time.
- My life is not what I'd like it to be, but I'm glad I've met and talked to the people I have, and looking back I can see how all the pain was part of a larger story.
This post might not be for everyone, and I get that. But, for my friends who are stuck in their heads, thinking DEEPER just might help get you through.