"youll know when youre ready"

[Life_and_Death]

ive never know. i dont know what its like to feel ready. and yet here i am married at 21, thank you mental disorders.

is it even possible to recover from something like this?

 

[Water-Lily]

ive never know. i dont know what its like to feel ready. and yet here i am married at 21, thank you mental disorders.

is it even possible to recover from something like this?

I wonder the same thing. Sometimes I feel I would genuinely die by suicide one day. Other days I am not sure. I don't think anyone is ever really ready for death. I think, no matter the circumstances, we have an innate desire to live

 

[Life_and_Death]

I wonder the same thing. Sometimes I feel I would genuinely die by suicide one day. Other days I am not sure. I don't think anyone is ever really ready for death. I think, no matter the circumstances, we have an innate desire to live

i wasnt talking about death. thats why its in the recovery section.

 

[Water-Lily]

i wasnt talking about death. thats why its in the recovery section.

Oh my apologies. I jumped to conclusions.

 

[Life_and_Death]

Oh my apologies. I jumped to conclusions.

its cool. im not really the best at going into details about things initially

 

[Water-Lily]

its cool. im not really the best at going into details about things initially

I see. Thats ok. I am at fault too for not reading carefully and imposing my own bias about suicide.
Any-who, is this pertaining to not feeling ready for marriage?

 

[Life_and_Death]

and 'things' like that yeah

 

[Water-Lily]

and 'things' like that yeah

I know it's not the same, though in my case I am thinking about job hunting again before school starts. I feel so unsure and not ready. Like I know mistakes are inevitable but I always feel like I'll just give up because I will feel like an eternal failure.

 

[Life_and_Death]

I know it's not the same, though in my case I am thinking about job hunting again before school starts. I feel so unsure and not ready. Like I know mistakes are inevitable but I always feel like I'll just give up because I will feel like an eternal failure.

may i ask what kind of job you are looking for compared to the job you want?

 

[Good4Nothing]

Do you think you married too young and you regret it?

 

[Water-Lily]

may i ask what kind of job you are looking for compared to the job you want?

Tbh I am not sure lol. Just recently I sent an application to volunteer at at a cate cafe I used to help out at before COVID. In terms of an actual job, I really don't know what I want. Besides a few volunteering stuff I've done over the years, I don't have much experience so I feel I wouldn't get anywhere

 

[Life_and_Death]

Do you think you married too young and you regret it?

basically. my first sexual experiences were for attention. i would cheat on all my bfs. then i got together with this guy and that pretty much only happened because i was ****** and then we got married because i kept going back and forth on it because of my disorders until i finally said fuck it

 

[Good4Nothing]

Do you love him?

 

[Life_and_Death]

Tbh I am not sure lol. Just recently I sent an application to volunteer at at a cate cafe I used to help out at before COVID. In terms of an actual job, I really don't know what I want. Besides a few volunteering stuff I've done over the years, I don't have much experience so I feel I wouldn't get anywhere

yeah experience is a problem. i find for most jobs you need X amount of experience and im looking at it going "how am i suppose to get the experience if i cant get the job?"

because I will feel like an eternal failure.

have you tried reminding yourself that its ok mistakes happen. it can take a bit before it sets in though

Do you love him?

im not sure. my emotions and my disorders are all fucked up

 

[Water-Lily]

I can relate to the romance part too. When I find myself liking someone I am aware my BPD can cause my to think about the person in black and white and idolize them in a way that isn't taking into account reality. And then I think they wouldn't like me if they knew about my disorder

Yeah the job experience thing is a doozy. But the only people that can say no is the employer so I still have to try anyways.