Story 12 days from today i will take SN

[Tiger]

12 days from now i will take SN so meanwhile i have decided to bore some of you with my story. i'm 25 year old guy with bipolar disorder 2 and life is shit, this illness has killed everything that was left of me,. how did i go from the teenager always happy, always laughing to this? now all i'm is burden to my family as i'm unable to work because of medicine ( i've severe hand tremors and i' have lost ability to logically reason with anything so basically i'm kind of donkey with tremors). i just can't live life like this anymore, everyone thinks i'm a freeloader which i a sense i'm, i have isolated myself from everyone even though my friend and family try to help. i don't need help all i need is to die and end everything, i've already ordered sn and it will reach by tomorrow. i would like to hear your stories if you are comfortable sharing it.

 

[FuneralCry]

In my case, I want to ctb as I don't see life to be worth living in every single way. Staying alive is just prolonging suffering and I think that to die would be the best thing possible. I could never want to live no matter what, but I am still here as dying is just so difficult for me personally, I have limited access to methods and there is the fear of failing ctb.

It sounds really awful what you are going through and I cannot imagine how hard it must be. Life is just too cruel and none of us should ever have to suffer. I know that for many it can be a relief having the option of SN. I wish you the best.

 

[Tiger]

In my case, I want to ctb as I don't see life to be worth living in every single way. Staying alive is just prolonging suffering and I think that to die would be the best thing possible. I could never want to live no matter what, but I am still here as dying is just so difficult for me personally, I have limited access to methods and there is the fear of failing ctb.

It sounds really awful what you are going through and I cannot imagine how hard it must be. Life is just too cruel and none of us should ever have to suffer. I know that for many it can be a relief having the option of SN. I wish you the best.

thank you. will keep updating till i drink my SN.

 

[nys]

My reason for ctb is because of childhood trauma. From a very young age until about 10 or 11, I was abused in many ways and I watched my parents violently fighting every day. The trauma has affected every area of my life, and I'm unable to make friends or socialize. All the "relationships" I have, if they can even be called that, turn abusive, toxic, and dangerous.

As I've gotten older and really begun to understand how terrible the abuse was and how it destroyed all chances of future happiness for me, I've lost all motivation for life and I just don't see the point in living anymore. The only way I can get better is to go back in time and fix my childhood and I obviously can't do that, so I'm just going to have to ctb to end my pain.

It's sad that your life has become so terrible that you think the only way to get relief is to ctb. I don't have bipolar disorder but I know people who do, and I've seen how difficult and challenging it is to live with that. I hope you no longer have to live a miserable life, whether that's through your life getting better somehow, or if it's by you ctb'ing.

 

[Tiger]

My reason for ctb is because of childhood trauma. From a very young age until about 10 or 11, I was abused in many ways and I watched my parents violently fighting every day. The trauma has affected every area of my life, and I'm unable to make friends or socialize. All the "relationships" I have, if they can even be called that, turn abusive, toxic, and dangerous.

As I've gotten older and really begun to understand how terrible the abuse was and how it destroyed all chances of future happiness for me, I've lost all motivation for life and I just don't see the point in living anymore. The only way I can get better is to go back in time and fix my childhood and I obviously can't do that, so I'm just going to have to ctb to end my pain.

It's sad that your life has become so terrible that you think the only way to get relief is to ctb. I don't have bipolar disorder but I know people who do, and I've seen how difficult and challenging it is to live with that. I hope you no longer have to live a miserable life, whether that's through your life getting better somehow, or if it's by you ctb'ing.

Thank you.
Just received my SN

 

[blueclover_.]

How's it going, bud? Been thinking about catching the bus pretty soon also. Hope you're in a much better mental state now. You can talk to me anytime, i'm kinda lonely anyway.

 

[Tiger]

How's it going, bud? Been thinking about catching the bus pretty soon also. Hope you're in a much better mental state now. You can talk to me anytime, i'm kinda lonely anyway.

Thank you, it's so kind of you. all that's in head now is my mom and what will happen to her after i cbt. she loves me so much, she will Never accept that i'm dead and move on in life.

 

[Hiraeth Grimoire]

Hello fellow sufferer. It is also fifteen to twenty days for me. I am sorry to hear you are at the end of your rope as well, and have lived a hellish existence. Pherhaps death will be more profitable for us all than this doomed waste engine. I wish you all the best with your decision brother.

 

[Tiger]

Hello fellow sufferer. It is also fifteen to twenty days for me. I am sorry to hear you are at the end of your rope as well, and have lived a hellish existence. Pherhaps death will be more profitable for us all than this doomed waste engine. I wish you all the best with your decision brother.

Thank you and i wish you the peaceful journey.