3 days left

[OhMyStars]

A lot to unpack. Time came sooner than I expected, I'm still planning on going through with it. Today was a good day, I went out and about for a while, ate well today, hung out with a few friends. I cried when I got home thinking about how that's the last time I'll be seeing them. I feel bad about putting them through this, but this is what I want to do, it feels right. If I do end up in an afterlife I'll be missing them greatly. I hope they live happily when I'm gone, I really wish them the best even if their life is shaky after my departure. I guess in all reality I'm scared of death, no one knows what comes after we die and that makes me uneasy. I'm ok if there's nothing and I'm just gone, but if there really is a heaven/hell I'm really going to regret my life choices. If I have to I will grovel at gods feet and beg her for just a little forgiveness in hopes I get a fate just a bit better than hell.

 

[amerie]

Whatever decision you choose, just know your impact on this earth, however small or large, was still an impact. May your last days be filled with peace and joy, thank you for being here

 

[Praestat_Mori]

I hope you find peace!

 

[hedezev4]

I had something similar. When I was thinking about telling my friend (he wouldn't be able to call for a wellness check), I cried a lot because I thought about how sad it would be for both me and him, and what would happen after ctb. Today I also cried when I realized I couldn't force myself to go to the hotel (sn).

I just wanted to share a similar experience, so that you don't feel like you're going through this alone. I think many people experience and go through something similar.

 

[FuneralCry]

I hope you find peace from suffering, I wish you the best.