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Lonerzepam

Lonerzepam

O'lord! I Have My Doubts
Sep 2, 2022
619
I met a random person yesterday. He was from another country and was only here for 1 day and I just randomly started talking to him at the bus station because he looked a bit lost. So we talked a bit and spent the rest of the day together getting drunk. At the end of the day I was really drunk. He wasn't as drunk as me.

So I told him about my ctb plans which I know is a weird thing to talk to a person you've just met that day but don't judge me I was drunk... and popped a xan...I usually don't drink. So I told him about it. And he almost cried. He wasn't actively crying. But I saw he had tears in his eyes. And looked really sad. Before he left he told me he never met someone like me and that I was a special person. And to try to stay alive.
I just met this person and we just spent one day together

This really gave me to think today. How important must I've been then to people I've known for years? I guess I matter much more to other people than I thought I would...just crazy
 
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VioletNight

VioletNight

Student
Jan 24, 2023
113
It's always hard to really know how much you mean to someone, most of us have trouble expressing that kind of thing. Just think about how many people you've met that you haven't seen in a long time and would still be excited to see and go out to get drinks or to the movies with. There are definitely people that think the same of you.

Thank you for sharing this story and I truly hope that you are doing well.
 
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GasMonkey

GasMonkey

Nitrogen Master Race
May 15, 2022
1,879
What's your method?
 
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jodes2

jodes2

Hello people ❤️
Aug 28, 2022
7,736
Of course you matter, my friend. Everybody does. But kind souls have a special place in people's heart. As do suffering souls. Noone likes to know a kind, vulnerable person is suffering. I wish this would help convince you not to CTB. There are other good people who also want to help you, but maybe just don't know how.
 
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livingdeadgrl

livingdeadgrl

Member
Jan 23, 2023
24
You must be very kind by help this stranger and then invite him to drink with you. I like when I randomly met people, it gives me the sensation that anything can happen, like your story.
I moved a lot, so I've met a lot of people, and still remember a several little conversations I had and people I had affection for, even thought we don't talk anymore, I often see their social media to see how they're doing, and hoping things are okay. Certainly you are very important, and since you're so kind, I'm pretty sure there's someone who misses you and don't have the courage to send a message.
 
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Lonerzepam

Lonerzepam

O'lord! I Have My Doubts
Sep 2, 2022
619
Of course you matter, my friend. Everybody does. But kind souls have a special place in people's heart. As do suffering souls. Noone likes to know a kind, vulnerable person is suffering. I wish this would help convince you not to CTB. There are other good people who also want to help you, but maybe just don't know how.
Thanks for your true and honest words bro. Yeah I have people who wanna help me and do everything they can. But I somehow push them aside. Idk why...I think many people who are in a bad spot in life do this uncouncessly. It's not fair to them but I can't help it either. I'm just trying to be the best version of myself...
 
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N

NoWonder

New Member
Jan 24, 2023
4
Thanks for your true and honest words bro. Yeah I have people who wanna help me and do everything they can. But I somehow push them aside. Idk why...I think many people who are in a bad spot in life do this uncouncessly. It's not fair to them but I can't help it either. I'm just trying to be the best version of myself...
As long as you got people that want to help you, you've got hope mate. You seem to be a kind person, just going through particularly harsh moments. I really hope you give up on CTB because, from the litte I've read, you will be missed.
 
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Lonerzepam

Lonerzepam

O'lord! I Have My Doubts
Sep 2, 2022
619
As long as you got people that want to help you, you've got hope mate. You seem to be a kind person, just going through particularly harsh moments. I really hope you give up on CTB because, from the litte I've read, you will be missed.
Thank you! It's words like these making me to reconsider it.
You must be very kind by help this stranger and then invite him to drink with you. I like when I randomly met people, it gives me the sensation that anything can happen, like your story.
I moved a lot, so I've met a lot of people, and still remember a several little conversations I had and people I had affection for, even thought we don't talk anymore, I often see their social media to see how they're doing, and hoping things are okay. Certainly you are very important, and since you're so kind, I'm pretty sure there's someone who misses you and don't have the courage to send a message.
Thank you so much for this! ^^
 
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jodes2

jodes2

Hello people ❤️
Aug 28, 2022
7,736
Thanks for your true and honest words bro. Yeah I have people who wanna help me and do everything they can. But I somehow push them aside. Idk why...I think many people who are in a bad spot in life do this uncouncessly. It's not fair to them but I can't help it either. I'm just trying to be the best version of myself...
Good on you, mate. That's all we can do, is our best!! I'm sorry you push people away. I do the same. Maybe you can try and help yourself at least as much as you feel up to, to get out of the dark hole you're in. One step at a time, anything you can do that's good for you is great! But of course if you want to CTB, you probably do have the power to and I don't think anyone can stop you once you decide it's what you really want - unless fate blows you some twists. Who knows, if it does, maybe those twists are for the better. I think that's how it worked out for me in the end. So many falied CTB attempts, came real close a few times too. But life's ok now, maybe it can be for you too, maybe not. I wish you the best whatever happens, whatever you decide
 
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Andro • Ανδρομέδα

Andro • Ανδρομέδα

Member
Nov 12, 2022
54
I'm not very good at crying and I don't often talk to anyone, but sometimes people see us, like actually get in touch to our reality and I guess that's often going to be upsetting even if they don't know you. It's odd to think that someone you had a good conversation with is not gonna be breathing in a week or so. idk. odd. I hope this is right for you, though, not some ephemeral reaction to a cruel world. I hope till then you get offered some resourses that might get you where you need to be, hopefully you will get what you need. Best of luck, if you want to talk DMs open, idk. Respect.
 
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FuneralCry

FuneralCry

Just wanting some peace
Sep 24, 2020
42,000
I think the sad thing is the fact that there is so much endless suffering that exists in this world rather than choosing to leave it behind. Death is the most normal and inevitable thing ever and we only exist just to die and be forgotten about. And of course the non existent are the most fortunate people to me as they are incapable of being tormented.
But at least it didn't make things worse for you being open about your wish to die.
To me doing such a thing could never be beneficial, as people can be very judgemental with how they refuse to accept suicide as being a rational solution to prevent unnecessary days spent here. But anyway, I wish you the best of luck, you are lucky to have the option of a peaceful method so you aren't trapped here in this world.
 
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hellispink

hellispink

poisonous
May 26, 2022
1,229
He probably has has it very difficult too. The ones that suffer the most are the ones that care the most. We mostly care about each other. That is a good person.
 
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D

DesireDeath

Member
Feb 7, 2023
50
You are lucky. Most people irl and those I have met would be happy if I CTB'd.
 

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