Shinbu
Shiki
- Nov 23, 2019
- 477
We visited my grandma who loss her husband years ago. She's been a smoker, and she had to quit since she has to use a oxygen tank to breathe. The most weird thing me, my mom, and my grandma are talking about our mental illness. Anxiety, and depression runs on my mom side. I'm a shut in, and so is my mom, and grandma. Things that are easy for regular people is hard for us. Socializing is the hardest for me. At least my mom, and grandma can find the words to communicate with someone. I'm just empty handed mostly in any social setting. If I find someone alike I just close myself off rather than talk to them I have to have someone talk to me first then I can get some ideas on what to talk about if I'm lucky. I do have constant thoughts racing, and my insomnia comes and goes. My mom is constantly worried about my grandma being alone at the house. She said that at the table, and then the conversation went about my dead grandpa. My uncle is still apparently homeless in Cali. I found out since my mom had my grandma call him. They don't get along so they got in a argument of course. There is somethings better off left unsaid so I'll stop there, but man I had to see my mom cry for new years who doesn't want her mom to pass away like her dad did. Reality is really cruel.
