Help advice on being motivated with anhedonia

[anhedonic_moron]

i want to do things like writing essays, learning languages, improve my cognition but i literally just can't be bothered with it at all even if my life depends on it, i don't have access to therapy at the current moment so that's off the table

i just want to experience pleasure and joy

 

[사람이 없어]

Honestly many ways to get motivated to do things, but anhedonia does make things WAY harder. I honestly feel that it's best to have an accountability partner in this state. Someone who can push you and have you do things or even better, do things together!!
I study a lot myself and I did have several weeks off recently because I was in a similar state, and it sucked so much!

 

[IDontKnowEverything]

The reason why at least some people want to join the military is to get a type of discipline they will not have managed to aquire on their own otherwise.
You can try enrolling yourself in some program such as a language class over the weekends, probably not one that starts too early in the morning though, and force yourself to go.

 

[anhedonic_moron]

Honestly many ways to get motivated to do things, but anhedonia does make things WAY harder. I honestly feel that it's best to have an accountability partner in this state. Someone who can push you and have you do things or even better, do things together!!
I study a lot myself and I did have several weeks off recently because I was in a similar state, and it sucked so much!

i wish i could have an accountability buddy as well but am lonely unfortunately, would definitely try out if I did find someone, how did you cope with it in your break?

also love your bilibili pfp
thank you for replying

The reason why at least some people want to join the military is to get a type of discipline they will not have managed to aquire on their own otherwise.
You can try enrolling yourself in some program such as a language class over the weekends, probably not one that starts too early in the morning though, and force yourself to go.

I have considered joining the military and it is still on the table but am frightened to do or say something stupid, thanks to the years of my father's angry nagging sometimes rage filled insults towards me and whatever action I do, I sometimes just freeze and or become way too hesitant. am just a nuisance really so idk, have been thinking about joining a language program to atleast have some degree of discipline but am always chronically fatigued both mentally and physically which makes it so hard but I will try, thank you for responding as well

 

[사람이 없어]

i wish i could have an accountability buddy as well but am lonely unfortunately, would definitely try out if I did find someone, how did you cope with it in your break?

also love your bilibili pfp
thank you for replying

EYYO NICE, YOU RECOGNIZED IT. <3

Writing that post I did low-key wanna volunteer ngl, as it'd help me as well. But alternatively see if you can maybe find some study servers on Discord and find someone there, but it might take some time as ppl can flake suuper easily as well. >_>; and then there's the chemistry, but you never know!
I did language exchange myself when I was deep into studying it, and we've known each other for years now, even exchanged stuff and such!! So it can work out!!

As for me coping, I felt AWFUL with it at first. Kept telling myself I was a lazy pos and all that for not studying almost daily, but I kinda went, well, autistic burnout isn't my fault and I am mentally unwell, and also why am I grinding that hard if the main reason for me doing my hobbies is for enjoyment, yet I treated it like an unpaid job..?? So I went okay, just focus on recovery and then gradually I have started having more energy/motivation for things again,so gradually I can do the things I want again, but I also try not to force myself if I still feel too pooped out, so I'll pick the hobbies I wanna do atm and let the others sit for now, or only do them a little bit!

 

[anhedonic_moron]

EYYO NICE, YOU RECOGNIZED IT. <3

Writing that post I did low-key wanna volunteer ngl, as it'd help me as well. But alternatively see if you can maybe find some study servers on Discord and find someone there, but it might take some time as ppl can flake suuper easily as well. >_>; and then there's the chemistry, but you never know!
I did language exchange myself when I was deep into studying it, and we've known each other for years now, even exchanged stuff and such!! So it can work out!!

As for me coping, I felt AWFUL with it at first. Kept telling myself I was a lazy pos and all that for not studying almost daily, but I kinda went, well, autistic burnout isn't my fault and I am mentally unwell, and also why am I grinding that hard if the main reason for me doing my hobbies is for enjoyment, yet I treated it like an unpaid job..?? So I went okay, just focus on recovery and then gradually I have started having more energy/motivation for things again,so gradually I can do the things I want again, but I also try not to force myself if I still feel too pooped out, so I'll pick the hobbies I wanna do atm and let the others sit for now, or only do them a little bit!

have been using bilibili for learning Chinese lol, hated the pop up login menu in the middle of every video, that's how I recognized it

will certainly give it a go, though honestly my anhedonia demotivated me so much to the point where I can't even click on apps, I have my doubts lmfaoooo,
glad that your out of anhedonia, sorry for the stupid question but did you have a moment where your realized "oh shit am actually enjoying this now"

thank you for responding and sorry to bother

 

[사람이 없어]

glad that your out of anhedonia, sorry for the stupid question but did you have a moment where your realized "oh shit am actually enjoying this now"

thank you for responding and sorry to bother

1. Not a bother <3
2. Yes! Just an example: It's extremely subtle at first, but it's subtle signs like me thinking about my hobby, then I kinda want to just look at the book related to the hobby and think about it, then pick up the book, then later go through it and read a bit, then take notes on small snippets I find interesting enough or about things I previously learned, then eventually go through new material and learn from it which is the last stage where I am mostly or totally back to normal.
Another sign is that I get even a tiny bit of joy or dopamine from whatever I am doing. Going from 0 pleasure no matter what to "oh, I felt something positive" is a huge change and usually a good sign I am slowly recovering.

Also super cool you're learning Chinese!!! I tried a few times but my motivation is too low still, haha. So I learn for a little bit at most and then kinda drop it again.

 

[iji]

writing essays

Start by writing a journal, somewhat daily. I've been doing it for a while now, and sometimes I basically write essays on the journal with my thoughts.

learning languages

Change your phone to the language you wish to learn as a start. You will be forced to learn the language this way.

 

[anhedonic_moron]

1. Not a bother <3
2. Yes! Just an example: It's extremely subtle at first, but it's subtle signs like me thinking about my hobby, then I kinda want to just look at the book related to the hobby and think about it, then pick up the book, then later go through it and read a bit, then take notes on small snippets I find interesting enough or about things I previously learned, then eventually go through new material and learn from it which is the last stage where I am mostly or totally back to normal.
Another sign is that I get even a tiny bit of joy or dopamine from whatever I am doing. Going from 0 pleasure no matter what to "oh, I felt something positive" is a huge change and usually a good sign I am slowly recovering.

Also super cool you're learning Chinese!!! I tried a few times but my motivation is too low still, haha. So I learn for a little bit at most and then kinda drop it again.

1. thanks for taking the time to write, I appreciate it
2. Chinese is surprisingly easy (aside from getting the tones right) the trick is to be more and more immersed in it rather then to learn it like a textbook, you can try to use anki as a micro learning tool. that way, on days where you don't feel like studying at all, you'll at least learn something or enhance your already existing vocabulary

Start by writing a journal, somewhat daily. I've been doing it for a while now, and sometimes I basically write essays on the journal with my thoughts.


Change your phone to the language you wish to learn as a start. You will be forced to learn the language this way.

have been writing short poems and am trying to memorize poems from others, as a way to journal my thoughts and experiences

did change, especially the YouTube page into simplified Chinese, memorizing some words and seeing patterns did help despite me barely living lol, thank you so much for responding

 

[사람이 없어]

1. thanks for taking the time to write, I appreciate it
2. Chinese is surprisingly easy (aside from getting the tones right) the trick is to be more and more immersed in it rather then to learn it like a textbook, you can try to use anki as a micro learning tool. that way, on days where you don't feel like studying at all, you'll at least learn something or enhance your already existing vocabulary

Yeah I remember studying it for a short while and I was already able to write sentences decently easily because grammar isn't that much of a thing in Chinese it seems.
Characters and tones, though... I think tones I can get the hang of as I've had a lot of exposure, but the characters.. I've seen some ppl just recommend to recognize them and ignore writing by hand, but that partially seems like cheating, and honestly writing Chinese characters feels good and is fun.

 

[anhedonic_moron]

Yeah I remember studying it for a short while and I was already able to write sentences decently easily because grammar isn't that much of a thing in Chinese it seems.
Characters and tones, though... I think tones I can get the hang of as I've had a lot of exposure, but the characters.. I've seen some ppl just recommend to recognize them and ignore writing by hand, but that partially seems like cheating, and honestly writing Chinese characters feels good and is fun.

not really cheating considering how much digitized Chinese society is for example qr codes everywhere as a means of paying, virtually most Chinese people type rather then write, to the point where it kinda became a problem lol it is called character amnesia
so long as they know that you are a beginner, you are good to go but it is more better to learn the patterns of stroke despite it being not of huge priority

sorry if I said anything stupid, i could be wrong

sorry for my curiosity but why did you choose to learn Chinese

 

[사람이 없어]

not really cheating considering how much digitized Chinese society is for example qr codes everywhere as a means of paying, virtually most Chinese people type rather then write, to the point where it kinda became a problem lol it is called character amnesia
so long as they know that you are a beginner, you are good to go but it is more better to learn the patterns of stroke despite it being not of huge priority

sorry if I said anything stupid, i could be wrong

sorry for my curiosity but why did you choose to learn Chinese

I see, thank you! I've had an interest in Chinese culture since 2016 because of Mei in Overwatch! It made me try a lot of Chinese food, meet Chinese ppl, try Chinese food, make Chinese food myself, then learn about the culture which is pretty cool as well. Then following I've been in some Chinese communities for some time before Chinese Firewall made that a pain for some reason and I gradually stopped because I had to go through so many hoops to bypass odd "gateway" errors non-stop, and I didn't have a VPN at the time.
As for learning the language itself a few times on and off, it was mainly because it looks and sounds cool and I wanted to communicate a bit if possible and get a deeper understanding about cultural things.

 

[IDontKnowEverything]

I have considered joining the military and it is still on the table but am frightened to do or say something stupid, thanks to the years of my father's angry nagging sometimes rage filled insults towards me and whatever action I do, I sometimes just freeze and or become way too hesitant. am just a nuisance really so idk

So sorry that that had to be a part of your life.
In any case, maybe the military would do you a little more harm than good, at least for now.
Similar situation with my mom years back, I still feel the same as you said you do..
Frankly no fullproof solution.
No matter what, you still have to at some point wake up, to do things.
Eat, drink, work...
Lately I managed to do a little more again, it isn't perfect but seeing how things will be cleaner for the next while at least makes everything feel less chaotic.
Discipline might as well feel physically painful but I am trying to see if I can somehow get back to that point in life where I did have it.

i want to do things like writing essays, learning languages, improve my cognition

I believe that it is a wonderful thing that you already have something that you want to do.
Now if someone told me to do more I'd probably feel like wanting to cry at this point.
Saying this because sometimes forcing yourself to do things arguably can even be a good thing. However too much of that will probably simply eventually loop back to burnout.
One of my systems is that I make myself tea even when I don't want any and that's my jumpstart to doing as many things at once as possible.
Microwave some food, get the dishes done, drink some water, comb my hair...
If the timer is over and I'm back to not doing much anymore, that's ok, I did some things I should have - without it feeling like yk -, and if I think I can do one more thing even after my tea is done, then sweet.
Finding tiny systems that don't make basic chores involve bad thought get involved in the picture was at least for me very big so yeah, I don't know if that would actually work for you and my bad if I wasted your time with that but yeah, maybe if you find something similar that works it could be another step maybe.

to atleast have some degree of discipline but am always chronically fatigued both mentally and physically which makes it so hard

Oh how much I wish I had the cure to this.
Truly truly truly truly truly, how much I wish to have a cure to this and one that lasts.

but I will try

No rush at all, take things only at your own pace, oh, and frankly I adore your goals.
But if you think you can, see if you want to try to do just that.
Maybe you'll eventually miss a few sessions, but if you can not outroll but rather show up again some other time again, that's already such a huge thing then.
There will be no changes overnight but if you have a class that you actually feel like it's a good thing you are going there, maybe soak up some sunshine and fresh air along the way, and see if it's a class you'd like to stay in.

thank you for responding as well

You sound like a kind person.
I'm sorry I took a longer while.
But of course.
Wish you the best of luck with this.