
bad luck
Memento mori
- Mar 2, 2021
- 772
Today I talked to my mother about suicide. She doesn't understand it and thinks it's a bad thing. I showed him euthanasia videos on the internet and he found them horrible. She doesn't want me to kill myself, she's selfish, she only talks about her feelings, not mine. We are talking about a military relative who died in World War II. He does not care. It is better for her to die with my boots on than to commit suicide. Today he saw me drunk and felt sorry, I tried to tell him with all my arguments that alcohol makes me less suicidal. It nullifies negative thoughts and leaves me in a state where I would do nothing. I take diazepam and overdose but she prefers diazepam to alcohol. What difference does it make. I just want not to think about all the problems and sleep. Anyway. An outlet. Thanks for reading me.