i feel so alone, and irritating, i'm so goddamn annoying, my being is annoying
I'm so sorry you're feeling like this, no one deserves this kind of pain.
Would you like to vent more about these feelings? I'm willing to listen if it helps in anyway.
By the way, the thread you posted, about life being boring and stuff, i was writing this reply, but couldn't post it since the thread was deleted.
I think it could really help, so i'll post it here:
"I think you're feeling something that is well know as "Anhedonia".
It's a ridiculously common sympton of depression and/or other mental illnesses.
It seems you're somewhat new on this website, so i'd like to say: Welcome!
You'll find that in this community, a lot of people suffer from this, i do myself.
I don't know the exact cause or how to fix it, it's weird, as it doesn't feel logical, it's not something we can reason with.
Which is why i imagine you probably feel a lot of agony when asking "why is it all so boring" and your conscious can't answer it with reason.
I think it's because it's probably somewhat chemical related.
Things like hormones (Testosterone in man has a huge effect on this, so if you're a dude, check your Testosterone levels as soon as possible).
I don't know much about female hormones, in case you're one, when it comes to this, i'd ask a psychiatrist and/or an endocrinologist.
Another thing that can go into this is neurotransmitters, mostly dopamine and serotonin receptors, that's where antidepressants come in, so a psychiatrist helps.
More things that can help with hormones and neurotransmitter receptors is exercise, a healthy diet, and good habits overall, like less masturbation and stuff.
Something else i'd recommend is a therapist perhaps, to help with the more emotional and less biological aspect of your mental health.
That's what i can think about, i hope you can get the help you need and overcome you anhedonia, no one deserves this horrible feeling.
I'm free if you want to PM me, tho considering you're new here i don't know if you can already, need to have "x" number of messages first, i don't recall.
You can reply to me in this thread just fine aswell.
*hugs*"