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woxihuanni
Illuminated
- Aug 19, 2019
- 3,298
Of course I do. It's a cruel set up, pleasurable if you are lucky.
It's my fault for wanting things so I deserve it..
expecting and hoping for happiness, to want things, leads to you're own heartbreaks.
ive been telling myself that for the past few years^. yet i continue to do it and when something i love or things that make me happy is snatched from me, it's my fault for caring as if happiness lasts. happiness, things dont last.
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It's what it means to be a living being. To want.
Who's to blame for all of this though, me? Is it my fault or is it the world's fault. I don't know so I just fucking hate both..
woxihuanni
Illuminated
- Aug 19, 2019
- 3,298
I wanted to be precious once. Not having to be on my best behaviour if I want crumbs, but be loved for fuck's safe. I remember looking at them as I got out of the shower, thinking 'wow, all the misery of my life does not matter anymore. I'm home'. I remember them crying and praying against fear, to give their love to me. I remember them curling up defeated when they gave in to their fear. Take all these memories away.
for me, it's like i'm cursed. like i have a written destiny, like these things were meant to happen for me and only me. i have the worst luck ever. so bad thing after bad thimg after bad thing after bad thing.
yet after each bad thing, i blindlessly hoped and expected for happiness, and with each opportunity of it that came into life, i invested emotionally into things like a broken person i am, hoping it stays and lasts this one time.
for me, its my fault. i never learn. It's like im asking for my own suffering.
Sorry about you're misfortunes. you're definitely better than me honestly. hope things go you're way in the future.
Dawn0071111
Hungry Ghost
- Dec 9, 2018
- 570
Wayfaerer
JFMSUF
- Aug 21, 2019
- 1,938
