Anyone else have an eating disorder/disordered eating?

[ReverendGreen]

I can't stand most food, used to be severely underweight until I started forcing myself to eat something everyday. Usually just pasta though.
I'm sick of it.

 

[Mizzmini45]

yes. usually fasting and binge eating. helped me stay skinny and would give me a high. I could eat whatever I wanted, party or trips look nice. Now I plan not to eat for the next 20-30 days. I can usually go 12 day with no food easy. My twin sister and I would trigger each other. We could buy lots of food and cute party clothes together. binge eat on whatever we wanted and then fast together for weeks.

 

[Everythingiwanted]

Anorexic at 15-16, at some point became more bulimic (starved not puked), recovered a bit but now it's binge eating/emotional over eating, which I hate most probably, because even though I'm healthier than I was, I'm quite fat.

This is exactly what im going through and its a terrible terrible feeling. I had anorexia nervosa and bulimia from the age of 12 to the age of 15. Once out of it, the problem didnt left; it changed into something else. I realized i hated my body for how skinny it was so i tried everything possible to gain weight. It became an obsession i would say. The "skinny" body was out of fashion; at that point you had to be thick to be considered beautiful. Eventually i did gained weight and was pretty happy with my body, but i would track every gram and calorie to make sure mu thick body stayed that way. I knew it was an eating disorder, but i would tell myself "no, only people who want to be skinny have eating disorders and i want the opposite; so im fine."... Everything was fine, untill i moved in with my fiance, who constantly made comments about what i was or wasnt eating and he made me feel like im nothing but a fat cow. I remember him being extremely upset about me eating a frozen pizza. Another time about me eating 2 sandwiches. I now barely eat anything to lose weight again? Im at the point where i've decided to take my life so i could care less about being skinny to be honest...

 

[a.n.kirillov]

Yes, it started in childhood. I had it under control (which means I was relaxed about food) for a while but with stress it came back in early adulthood, with periods of extreme control and calorie counting and then binging again.

 

[youonlydieonce]

Bulimia, have had it on and off for the past 25 years or so, though it's become more consistent the past 10 years, and a lot worse the past several years. It gets more out of control the more stressed I am, which causes me more stress, and then it becomes more out of control .... it's been a particularly stressful 5 years or so. Financial stress in particular makes it worse, which is unfortunate because food can make for a surprisingly expensive drug when you're so good at throwing it up.

 

[Mpez28892]

Oh food, such a love/hate relationship ...
History of binge/purge and starving. Then got older and realized coke& dope added that extra chic factor.
Now I'm binging as a way to discociate but not purging and that's really irritating. Gag reflexs aren't what they use to be...
But, at least my butt got bigger (I had the body of a 12year old boy)

 

[Moonicide]

Yes, very much so. I'm usually on a low carb / sugar free diet. So I became so afraid of carbs and would often check the nutrition labels... But I'm also a huge emotional eating at the same time. I'm ctbing soon, so my healthy eating habits have gone out the window... But usually I either eat too much or too little.

 

[nihilist_fool]

I've had disordered eating since 13 and developed "mild" restrictive anorexia a year or so after. Brain did not appreciative being starved and began binge eating. I did not appreciate my brain trying to feed my poor self and developed severe-extreme bulimia.
It's been on and off since then and I've had a few several month long breaks since then. But my ED and restrictive behaviours has never gone away even when I've managed to stop purging. I'm very ill with bulimia again and I'm passively waiting to start getting heart issues again so I can die of electrolyte imbalances I'll probably end up taking my own life though.

Statistically I'm fucked. Roughly a third of people with AN get better, a third stays in limbo, and the other third dies. Food takes up my life and I'm tired of it.

 

[LivingANDDying26]

Yes. EDNOS. Starving and binge eating and occasional purging.

Last week I've been horrible and impulsive with food just ordering whatever without a care

 

[ImsooDone1N]

I'm recovering from an Eating disorder. In HS I was both anorexic & bulimic; I wasn't ever even overweight. I just wanted to look good. But it came at a high price. Now I just go to the gym frequently.

 

[DepressedAngel]

I guess I have disordered eating? I often go a week to a month where I count calories, weigh myself several times a day and eat almost nothing. After a little bit though I seem to usually snap out of it, although it has gone to the point where I pass out while exercising :( This hasn't happened lately fortunately! I hate feeling like food has control over me. Even when I'm not watching my weight I'm still uncomfortable with how I look and am constantly critiquing myself and how I look even though I am not overweight.

 

[56709]

I had BED ages 10-22 and BN ages 11-13. Also severe compulsive habits like drinking gallons of fluids or 30+ cans of soda in the span of a few hours while playing video games.

 

[mediocre]

I have a Haitus hernia and a lot of trouble swallowing foods and digesting them. It's really a nightmare. If you can't even swallow your food what's the point of life? I am just so tired of it.

 

[onlyeverexisting]

Yep. Never officially diagnosed but had all the symptoms. I was bullied severely for my weight all my life, but what hurt the most and sent me down the disordered eating path was bullying by former close friends. I was about 200 lbs, and I starved and over exercised to about 112 over the course of two years while I was switching schools to get away from the bullying. I "maintained" until the end of high school- and let me tell you, people DO treat you differently when you're thin. I pretty much gained it all back after I attempted suicide and stopped caring. I'm sitting at a hefty 185 right now and I'm terrified of anyone I used to know seeing me. I almost never wear short sleeves or crop tops (even when I was thin) because I still have the word "fat" carved into my stomach and arm- even though both have been tattooed over. It's awful. I often think about how much of our trauma, especially with people on this forum, might have been prevented had people learned/chosen to be kind.
Sorry for wall of text. It's nice to vent.

 

[Tearygirl]

Never diagnosed. But sometimes binging/starving. Only sometimes. Also, I feel guilty about eating food, and I wonder this is a kind of eating disorder or not.

 

[Azzy69]

I have disordered eating

 

[enjoy]

i'm not sure. some days, i'll spend the entire day binging. other days, i won't touch food until around dinnertime. then, there'll be days where i eat little snacks every 2 hours to get me through. so... i don't really know. i think it's mostly laziness. i usually like to eat, but sometimes i just can't get up to get a snack.

 

[Lotus]

Yes, I'm binge eating without throwing up. Doctor's aren't taking me seriously because I'm really underweight at this stage (thanks depression). However, my psychiatrist is kind of trying to understand my unnatural eating habits. I have a serious trauma history, and he asks me if I eat after we have talked about it or if I'm thinking about it, which I do. I think he's kind of amazed about all the connections in my mental health. But I really adore him. He's the only one that understands me, and not blaming me for what has gone wrong in my life. Is it sad that my psychiatrist is the one that makes me want to be absolute sure that CTB is the right choice for me? I'm just feeling that I'm putting myself up to failure. I know I won't have my psychiatrist forever. If I wait now, will it be harder for me when he wants to finish our sessions?

I really want to contact him, but he's on holiday, so I don't think it's appropriate.

 

[123die]

i'm anorexic. it's a bitchhhhhh

 

[1DayItWillBover]

disordered eating. Had a goal weight of 87lb which is pretty extreme for a male. I got a haircut when i was around 135lb and i was so devastated with the way i looked. I looked like a meth head. I gained up to 145lb but really want to go down to 135 and lower but it gets hard sometimes. Was hoping a eating disorder would be the end of me but guess not.