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m4rius

m4rius

Student
Dec 23, 2022
119
For instance in this forum, there's many sad threads that receive sympathetic replies from users who seem to have genuinely absorbed the thread's content... I sometimes wonder how people are capable of expressing sympathies routinely even when they themselves are struggling...

Not only that, but when I do reply and attempt to sympathise, I seem to have a tendency to include myself in it even if it's unprompted, which is a concerning self-reflection. It seems like I'm only interested in talking about other people's problems if I can also self-insert and sort of connect that way, rather than to simply sympathise and not mention my own woes at all or needlessly mention solutions...

To give some context: besides my low-level depression, I also have ADHD, which causes me to skim through things impatiently rather than sit down and truly read and absorb the content. But even when I do take my time, I still don't feel compelled to express sympathy — I just wanna get straight to the point and discuss solutions.

I feel like expressing sympathies is a waste of time, even though I immediately know I disagree with myself — obviously there's value in sympathizing. I'm just impatient and emotionally numb; I want to discuss solutions and nothing else.

I guess it just comes down to numbness, but I doubt it. Even in my happiest and most emotional days, I have a hard time to just.. sympathise.
 
Irisse

Irisse

Art belongs to Maksn (on yt)
Sep 8, 2025
85
Yes, I do struggle with it also. I feel, even in this post, that I always make everything about myself. I really do wish to offer words of support but I often feel that it will come out wrong or I already see that someone else's post summarized what I wanted to say much better. As for sympathy and empathy, I guess I'm still able to put myself in others' shoes but I feel like I'm way too judgemental of a person to empathize with everyone. Not to make excuses for myself but I literally got bullied for being nice (there were probably other reasons but this is a hundred percent one of them) so I am careful who I sympathise with.

I don't think you should blame yourself, though. Maybe you also went through trauma and it left you with that numbness. You also mentioned that you have ADHD, which obviously plays a part in your concentration and immersion in a forum post which expresses suffering. I think you definitely have it in you, as if you truly didn't feel sympathy/empathy, it wouldn't even occur to you to write this post.
 
princexhhn

princexhhn

prince of your heart! <3
Sep 26, 2023
367
I can relate. Most times I just… don't care. I can't get myself to care even if I tried. I just pretend to care, I do what I see other people doing, but I don't actually care. It doesn't strike any emotion to me, doesn't make me feel anything at all.
 
Lady_V

Lady_V

Please be honest.
Aug 31, 2025
65
Empathy can be gained with age. I worry about the younger people here a lot. Worried about the big decisions they are making w/o their brains fully capable of understanding long-term repercussions.
In my teens and early early 20s I truly didn't care about much and could stomach some dark shit, not anymore. I truly do wish the best for people and wish they weren't here.
 
heywey

heywey

Member
Aug 28, 2025
22
I feel similar. When someone's struggling I would like to offer support, just to say something so they know they've been heard, but it never comes naturally. I've written out a lot of responses here on SaSu I never posted because they just felt empty.

I think, at least for me, even when I really empathize with someone, it doesn't feel like there's anything else to say. Like, in this thread: I read what you've all written, I think you conveyed your experiences in a way I can understand and relate to. But now what? I could talk about my own experiences, or share advice if I had any, but if what you say seems valid as-is then it's hard to see either a reason or way to validate it further.

It's easier face-to-face than in a forum, at least. Nonverbal sympathy can just mean being present which is nice.
 

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