Anyone here never had sex, kiss, dated, gone to a party, or even had a friend?

[RealMe]

Yes this. Everything you've said is so true

 

[RealMe]

If you dont mind me asking what ethnicity are you? I also have super strict parents that talk about getting me into an arranged marriage (which they aren't serious about because they know I would refuse) i am a super americanized half white half Arab btw.

Are your parents religious too? Trying to find someone I can relate with. My dad is a Muslim religious but. (Sorry if your not an atheist btw)

 

[ninaevol]

If you dont mind me asking what ethnicity are you? I also have super strict parents that talk about getting me into an arranged marriage (which they aren't serious about because they know I would refuse) i am a super americanized half white half Arab btw.

Are your parents religious too? Trying to find someone I can relate with. My dad is a Muslim religious but. (Sorry if your not an atheist btw)

If you're referring to my reply, I'm Bengali. I was born and raised in the US however, so I'm also super americanized. My parents are religous and controlling. I want to move out once I'm a nurse and financially stable but they want to marry me off. They don't force me to pray or wear a hijab but they expect me to agree to an arranged marriage because my older sister did. If I do I know it'll be some devout Muslim dude. Problem is I'm an atheist, don't want to get married or have children. If I tell my parents this, they will kick me out and disown me (and they've told me this).

 

[Phil8888]

I used to love sex, kissing, relationships and partying with friends. I was a body builder and scaffolder enjoying life, then came along crippling and severe anxiety and depression followed by dozens of mental health pills a day which completely wrecked my libido and physique and mental health. Wow it didn't take long to go downhill.

I was once having sex and had a complete panic attack. Which isn't helpful. It made having sex near impossible for me after that. I was always too worried about having sex and having a panic attack.

Before you realise it, agoraphobia has taken over, friends have all gone and your sat all alone wishing for death.


Has anyone else noticed the effects of mental health medication and libido?

 

[I want to end it]

I used to love sex, kissing, relationships and partying with friends. I was a body builder and scaffolder enjoying life, then came along crippling and severe anxiety and depression followed by dozens of mental health pills a day which completely wrecked my libido and physique and mental health. Wow it didn't take long to go downhill.

I was once having sex and had a complete panic attack. Which isn't helpful. It made having sex near impossible for me after that. I was always too worried about having sex and having a panic attack.

Before you realise it, agoraphobia has taken over, friends have all gone and your sat all alone wishing for death.


Has anyone else noticed the effects of mental health medication and libido?

I took anti-depressants quite regularly in the past (not on them at the moment) and my libido has never been the same since.

When you were bodybuilding, were you taking steroids and other bodybuilding drugs?

 

[Phil8888]

I took anti-depressants quite regularly in the past (not on them at the moment) and my libido has never been the same since.

When you were bodybuilding, were you taking steroids and other bodybuilding drugs?

No i didn't take any steroids as i was doing it all naturally. However after the mental health drugs wrecked me i did go on to steroids a lot later on. They helped get my sex drive back.

 

[Brokenanddeadinside]

I didnt get a gf till I was 21 but to be honest my relationships have caused more harm then good. First breakup I had led me to almost killing myself and then I got into partying where I went to clubs for 2 months straight getting shitfaced every single night. Relationships have caused me to make the worst decisions in my life but then again most of my relationships were fucked up.

 

[RealMe]

Ninaevol, I also dont want to get married or have kids. Thankfully my dad is kidding about marrying me off. I cant imagine what I would do if my dad was serious. So I assume your parents would disown you if you said no to the marriage?

 

[Phil8888]

Ninaevol, I also dont want to get married or have kids. Thankfully my dad is kidding about marrying me off. I cant imagine what I would do if my dad was serious. So I assume your parents would disown you if you said no to the marriage?

Do you come from a religious family?

 

[RealMe]

Do you come from a religious family?

Yes. My parents are Muslim. Growing up my dad wont even let me be friends with boys. What about you?

 

[6477244ts5]

You can end your life for any reason you choose...but my advice is that is not having had sex is your reason that it's not worth it at all. Sex can be fun yes...but it's not going to make life worth living if you think it's not right now. It can even make things worse because people and consequences can be quite messy. I understand the pressure, societal, hormonal, emotional etc....but honestly it's like someone saying "I want to die because I have never had ice cream.". It's a missed and desired pleasure that can be fun, but it's not the root cause of your depression and suicidality and certainly not worth dying over. People do so much dumb shit to get laid and in the end it's nearly ALWAYS disappointing compared to expectations and cost. I know it will probably fall on deaf ears and I am not minimizing the FEELINGS as I have had them and remember them....it's just from a lifetime of experience one of those things that is 100% not at all as important as you think it is beforehand.

 

[RealMe]

You can end your life for any reason you choose...but my advice is that is not having had sex is your reason that it's not worth it at all. Sex can be fun yes...but it's not going to make life worth living if you think it's not right now. It can even make things worse because people and consequences can be quite messy. I understand the pressure, societal, hormonal, emotional etc....but honestly it's like someone saying "I want to die because I have never had ice cream.". It's a missed and desired pleasure that can be fun, but it's not the root cause of your depression and suicidality and certainly not worth dying over. People do so much dumb shit to get laid and in the end it's nearly ALWAYS disappointing compared to expectations and cost. I know it will probably fall on deaf ears and I am not minimizing the FEELINGS as I have had them and remember them....it's just from a lifetime of experience one of those things that is 100% not at all as important as you think it is beforehand.

Yes I agree completely. It's the same thing with relationships. People always want what they cant have. But dont often seem to bring in account that those things they want come with consequences and hard work. And sometimes if you were to think about it at a more logical standpoint, it's not always bad you dont have those things.

This may be coming from a hypocrite as I myself as a virgin (sex and relationship wise) but it is somewhat by choice. As you've said people do outrageously dumb shit to get laid and it's ridiculous. Kinda the reason I don't want to date is the idea of dating is literally shoved down our throats. And if you haven't worked on all your personal problems the relationship or one night stand or friends with benefits or whatever will never make you happy but just bring you back to square one with your depression. You have to love yourself first and that can be scary which is why I think we are dealing with people nowadays rushing to literally date or fuck anyone so they can ignore and disassociate with their real issues

 

[RealMe]

I used to love sex, kissing, relationships and partying with friends. I was a body builder and scaffolder enjoying life, then came along crippling and severe anxiety and depression followed by dozens of mental health pills a day which completely wrecked my libido and physique and mental health. Wow it didn't take long to go downhill.

I was once having sex and had a complete panic attack. Which isn't helpful. It made having sex near impossible for me after that. I was always too worried about having sex and having a panic attack.

Before you realise it, agoraphobia has taken over, friends have all gone and your sat all alone wishing for death.


Has anyone else noticed the effects of mental health medication and libido?

Anti depressants are literally worse than what they supposedly treat. I am also a victim of those drugs. Ritalin and prozac to be exact and countless others as I was put on antidepressants since I was EIGHT. I didnt onow it was that early until recently when I ordered my health history from my provider. I just recently and foolishly went cold Turkey off my 20mg prozac that I have been on since I was like 12 or something. I think it's really fucked me up. Nobody should be on these drugs. Let alone a fucking 8 year old.

Anyway rant over i am so sorry that it has fucked you up too. Are you still on them? And if so which drug(s)?

 

[Phil8888]

Yes. My parents are Muslim. Growing up my dad wont even let me be friends with boys. What about you?

My family were devout fundamental Christians. And I'm the atheist... didn't go well. I wasn't allowed to have friends or gfs.

 

[RealMe]

My family were devout fundamental Christians. And I'm the atheist... didn't go well. I wasn't allowed to have friends or gfs.

You weren't allowed to have friends? Not even geeky Christian ones?

 

[ninaevol]

Ninaevol, I also dont want to get married or have kids. Thankfully my dad is kidding about marrying me off. I cant imagine what I would do if my dad was serious. So I assume your parents would disown you if you said no to the marriage?

They don't understand that, in their minds, a woman's purpose is to get married and have children. They'd disown me for that and other reasons, like being an atheist and not a virgin (if they knew).

 

[Phil8888]

You weren't allowed to have friends? Not even geeky Christian ones?

Unfortunately yes they were the only ones i was allowed and there were hardly any that lived near me.

 

[RaptorHavx]

From all of those things I only was on party once... that was my first and last time. It would be difficult for me to find a friend... also I'm getting ridiculously anxious when just sitting near opposite gender at similar age, so having chat would be a struggle, dating... no chance, so I guess I would start totally panicking if some girl would try to "get me" . You may laugh but I think I'll be actually scared of... having sex...

 

[Oyashiro-sama]

I was diagnosed with Aspergers (high functioning autism) in 2015 but there were a few doubts about whether I had it as well as doubts from myself. I probably have it because of my very weird way of speaking IRL and on online forums, strained social connections with pretty much classmates, authority figures, family members and obsessions. As well as that, I've had little interest in sex despite doctors confirming that I have normal testosterone levels.

I think my life is probably ruined and I don't mean that in an angsty way. I don't think my parents have been realistic about how much better my life could get. I'm 20 and failed (got 6F's and 1E) in my HS exams, don't have a single friend, parents and extended family really suck (extremely homophobic and beat their kids to death). As well as that, my psychiatrist reported me from homicidal ideation so I'm on the police watchlist as well..."thanks" doctor. I'm seriously sick and tired of this life. It's utter B.S.

Back to the topic, is anyone here like this?

I'm sorry but English is not my native language so I'll use the google translator a lot.

I am a 23 year old boy and first of all, I am not diagnosed with Asperger but since some years I think I have it, I would like to deal with a professional so that I could make a diagnosis. You can not imagine how identified I feel with you, since always, since I was born I am not like others, I do not relate well with others, I do not feel integrated.

When I was little for example, they made me a lot of bullying at school, I thought they were just stupid peolple but really the problem is me, I am not able to socialize well with others, for example right now, all my classmates are wonderful people , I have never had a serious problem with them but I do not feel integrated, I do not feel good with anyone, as if everything was forced, I am unable to be in a "party" or anything like that, I feel like an alien, sometimes I tried to force myself to socialize and I find it impossible.

The only "friend" I have met him at school, he has diagnosed Asperger (although ironically, being diagnosed and I do not, has more social contact than me) I put "friend" in quotes because I'm only a B plan for him, when he has other friends, we can be months and months without seeing each other, when he discusses with those friends then if he uses me almost daily to vent and when they get back to being well, I do not see him again, I think he does not value me.

As for the "girls" I had a girlfriend at age 19, I met her online and she had Asperger diagnosed, I think that's why she was the only person with whom I was able to maintain a relationship. But the relationship was very very short, I have diagnosted an obsessive-compulsive disorder and because of my insecurities, my "everything has to be perfect" is over, I'm a neurotic, because of my fault, because of my damn way of being I lost the only girl who did not care what it was like.

Apart from that girl, I have never had a single contact with another girl, I do not know how to behave with others, I can not practically make friends or meet people, I feel like shit, my summer vacation consists of being three months locked in home with the computer, I feel alone.

My mother does not understand me but if she loves me enough, if it were not because I know it would hurt her, I would surely end my life, there is nothing that ties me to this anymore.

 

[Midnight]

And i thought i had it bad when younger ... I empathise for all you people here. I couldn't take it anymore being sexless so at 23 i was off to see a hooker. Never regretted it actually .. this would probably not be the same for everyone but for me it worked out. Took 4 years more to find first gf.

 

[SnowyDreams]

I never dated, never had sex, I was kissed only once (by a friend. during a game), had friends but lost them all (all drifted away), I went to a couple of parties and hated it. Tbh all I would ask is a couple of friends to talk to every once in a while, someone who will tell me their problems and also listen if I have something to say, but I'm socially awkward and don't like to go out so... idk

 

[MissZombie]

I've had '' friends '' but honestly, I think none of the ones I had were real, real friends, the best people I've ever met and with whom I've felt connected, I've met online.

I have not had sex until the end and I doubt I'll have it soon. Actually, I find it hard to feel physically and emotionally attracted by someone at the same time. Also, I hate to be touched and I do not have confidence or enough self-esteem.

 

[samhelloall9]

I was diagnosed with Aspergers (high functioning autism) in 2015 but there were a few doubts about whether I had it as well as doubts from myself. I probably have it because of my very weird way of speaking IRL and on online forums, strained social connections with pretty much classmates, authority figures, family members and obsessions. As well as that, I've had little interest in sex despite doctors confirming that I have normal testosterone levels.

I think my life is probably ruined and I don't mean that in an angsty way. I don't think my parents have been realistic about how much better my life could get. I'm 20 and failed (got 6F's and 1E) in my HS exams, don't have a single friend, parents and extended family really suck (extremely homophobic and beat their kids to death). As well as that, my psychiatrist reported me from homicidal ideation so I'm on the police watchlist as well..."thanks" doctor. I'm seriously sick and tired of this life. It's utter B.S.

Back to the topic, is anyone here like this?

It used to eat me up in my late teens to early 20s.
Now I realise it's all just chemicals, diseases, who knows where someone's mouth has been or had been.
It no longer bothers me anymore so I'm happy as a virgin.
I socialise with close friends, we don't have parties. I've been to a few parties, nothing wild.

 

[lost illusions]

I've had one(1) pal in each of my life states - child, tween, teen, and 20's. They always ended when we'd evolve into different people. Never had a bf/gf or so much as a hug. It doesn't bother me in the sense that I desire these but I feel I've missed a part of the human experience. It seems all I hear about are people's relationships, hookups, mad sexing skills, and whatnot which can't relate to. I've written off being able to ever relate to people like that - I'm gross and even if I put work into being in-shape and pretty I'd still have the SH scars and the parachute of loose skin. Plus I have a weird voice, the kind where saying anything remotely serious sounds comical. Can't imagine coo-ing sweet nothings and not immediately killing the mood.

blah blah blah I've been pretty aromantic my whole life anyway - the idea of being someone's girlfriend or wife has never appealed to me. I don't get the whole appeal or endgame of romance. I see people turning into monsters because they can't get laid or can't get a romantic partner and I just don't get it. Is it a validation thing? There are other ways to feel admired and desired - I've seen enough vloggers and streamers to know that any kind of personality or aesthetic can get a dedicated group of admirers if they upload and interact with the peeps enough. I'm not making any sense, I have an occular migraine.

For me it was and still is a validation acceptance thing

 

[RM5998]

I'm a 26 y/o kissless virgin with schizoid PD and general anxiety. Also asexual.
I've been limerant for 5 years, obsessing over a guy who probably doesn't even remember me anymore. And he is so out of my league, even thinking about him makes me cringe at my stupid, delusional self.

So yeah, fun times.

Make it 6 years younger, remove the mental illness diagnosis, and make the person in question female, and you have me (except that I've had her in mind for 7 years).

Knowing that someone else feels that is nice. I know it's a shitty thing to do, but it feels good to not be the only one who feels that way.

 

[Taylored]

I Kissed and dated throughout school since my life went upside down in 2015-2016 I have been completely isolated no friends no communication. . Sex never interested me It hasn't been a priority I'm way too stricken with sorrow to think about it.

 

[samhelloall9]

I Kissed and dated throughout school since my life went upside down in 2015-2016 I have been completely isolated no friends no communication. . Sex never interested me It hasn't been a priority I'm way too stricken with sorrow to think about it.

Seems like a lot of active (regular on SS) users here are asexual or lack interest in sex.

Not judging, just an observation?

 

[Taylored]

Seems like a lot of active (regular on SS) users here are asexual or lack interest in sex.

Not judging, just an observation?

Depression doesn't help with it.

 

[couldntthinkofaname]

Seems like a lot of active (regular on SS) users here are asexual or lack interest in sex.

Not judging, just an observation?

antidepressant kill libido

 

[samhelloall9]

antidepressant kill libido

Legit? Wow. Explains a lot then about the folks here. I don't take any anti-depression meds.

I'm not looking to get better. I've always been a fruit loop, without the violent tendencies or aggression. I'm like an idiot savant without the talent.

And just prone to general anxiety/social anxiety too.