My biological parents are immigrants from Iraq who fled to Sweden after the disaster with Saddam Hussein. The social services told me that they abandoned me at age 2 because I had diabetes and they didn't want to take care of that because they had to take care of their other kids. And so as a result the social services took me and I was raised in a Swedish foster home (the people I call my parents).
I became depressed at 10 and I got diagnosed with ADHD Autism and Depression. I attempted suicide at age 10. Social services declared that I had to move to a new place. I moved 10 times in the span of 7 years.
Now I'm 18. I live in an apartment in nowhere. I have no friends and I have no family. I never cared about school so pretty much no grades. I'm a walking corpse living on social welfare. a leech on society and I lack the motivation and a purpose to make a difference for myself. I used to distract myself by talking to people but now I'm alone.
I think the reason my life went so shit is that I was destined to be depressed. My genetics made me mentally weak, stupid and unlikeable.
I don't have a definite answer to what will happen when I die. I'd say it's eternal darkness but it's just the thing about consciousness makes me think there must be something in me except me. I've lived my entire life looking like an Arab while being Swedish on the inside. So that might contribute to a detachment from myself. But it's just so weird because when you think about it there doesn't need to be someone inside of you experiencing everything. Your brain could just do everything you've done in your life without being there. I really hope there is no tyrannical god/devil or reincarnation and I can just die and feel eternal nothingness forever.
Don't know if this is allowed but I'd gladly hire anyone living here to kill me. We would co-operate so that nothing gets detected by police and I'd give you all my money I've saved up.
Ty for reading.
I became depressed at 10 and I got diagnosed with ADHD Autism and Depression. I attempted suicide at age 10. Social services declared that I had to move to a new place. I moved 10 times in the span of 7 years.
Now I'm 18. I live in an apartment in nowhere. I have no friends and I have no family. I never cared about school so pretty much no grades. I'm a walking corpse living on social welfare. a leech on society and I lack the motivation and a purpose to make a difference for myself. I used to distract myself by talking to people but now I'm alone.
I think the reason my life went so shit is that I was destined to be depressed. My genetics made me mentally weak, stupid and unlikeable.
I don't have a definite answer to what will happen when I die. I'd say it's eternal darkness but it's just the thing about consciousness makes me think there must be something in me except me. I've lived my entire life looking like an Arab while being Swedish on the inside. So that might contribute to a detachment from myself. But it's just so weird because when you think about it there doesn't need to be someone inside of you experiencing everything. Your brain could just do everything you've done in your life without being there. I really hope there is no tyrannical god/devil or reincarnation and I can just die and feel eternal nothingness forever.
Don't know if this is allowed but I'd gladly hire anyone living here to kill me. We would co-operate so that nothing gets detected by police and I'd give you all my money I've saved up.
Ty for reading.
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