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bankai

bankai

Mage
Mar 16, 2025
591
No. In fact I think I'm actively trying to get cancer or COPD. All I do is smoke out of frustration. My antipsychotic makes it impossible to keep at a manageable weight (even though I barely eat), I'm completely sedentary and I get like 2 hours REM sleep a night, tossing and turning for the rest. It's been over a decade since I've had any concern for my physical health.
I feel you when it comes to weight. I'm already planning to order tiramisu, mousse, and a plethora of other items for my birthday that's coming up soon.My sleep is poor as well, I've given up on it. I take care of the stuff that's under my control. But sleep is a shitshow.Unfortunately, sleep is also the most important thing for our human body. Funny how that works.
 
Apathy79

Apathy79

Wizard
Oct 13, 2019
612
I exercise an ungodly amount sometimes. 3 months treks/mountaineering expeditions 8+ hours with 2000+m ascent/descent daily. The kind of exercise that is definitely not healthy because it is so extreme. And even at home these days I'm walking on the beach at least an hour each day and taking some gym classes.

But my diet is as bad as it gets. All I eat most days is pizza and ice cream. So I'm kind of a weird case. I'm overweight with a high body fat % but functionally fitter than most people I know. I also know on my next extended trek, I'll lose about 25-30kg again, so I kind of don't care. Then it'll bounce back as usual.

So to answer the question - on one level, kinda. But mostly no.
 
PrismHon

PrismHon

Member
Mar 24, 2025
49
we certainly cannot be lax with our health.
Oops...

I'm weak and fat unfortunately. I wish I wasn't but I don't have the discipline/willpower/motivation. Add to that I'm somewhat disabled and love junk food. Binge eating was one of my big coping mechanisms.

It's very interesting reading your perspective though. I admire your hard work, props! It blows my mind despite everything you do, you have ctb thoughts. One of the natural things people recommend is consistent exercise, good diet and sleep. How are you with those other two things?
EDIT: sorry I see you already commented on your sleep. Vitamin D/sunlight is another thing!
 
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bankai

bankai

Mage
Mar 16, 2025
591
Oops...

I'm weak and fat unfortunately. I wish I wasn't but I don't have the discipline/willpower/motivation. Add to that I'm somewhat disabled and love junk food. Binge eating was one of my big coping mechanisms.

It's very interesting reading your perspective though. I admire your hard work, props! It blows my mind despite everything you do, you have ctb thoughts. One of the natural things people recommend is consistent exercise, good diet and sleep. How are you with those other two things?
EDIT: sorry I see you already commented on your sleep. Vitamin D/sunlight is another thing!
Exercise and diet is good. I work night shift though so sleep is poor. I also have sleep apnea. This is one of the main reasons for why I want to take the bus. I use a ResMed Airsense 10 to combat the apnea. But of course it isn't fun to use.I have lots of vitamin D as well, plus I get plenty of sunlight when I get up. I get all the other minerals and vitamins as well. Eat a lot of salads. Take care of my gut microbiome. Maybe one of these days I'll actually give up on the bus. Then this will all be worth it.
 
W

WhatCouldHaveBeen32

glucose bar yum
Oct 12, 2024
159
Nah, somewhat, but not intentionally, used to when I worked because of the nature of work. I hate living, who cares about physical health anyways? no person who I'd want to associate with , not the kind of lifestyle I'd want even if I wasn't suicidal. Just lost a tooth a couple of days ago too, feels good.
 
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R

Ready_2go

Still here…unfortunately
Apr 29, 2025
25
No - I mean I am doing what I need to for keeping up on appearances. Don't want to send up any red flags. But no, I never really have taken care of myself ever. Never really wanted to in all honesty. I struggle with anorexia badly - I have an awful perception of food and HATE eating (on top of body dysmorphia).

However, I am on day 5 of not eating and the hunger has dissipated to almost nothing. So, maybe anorexia isn't such a bad thing after all.
 
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F

Forever Sleep

Earned it we have...
May 4, 2022
11,464
Not really. Doing the bare minimum to try to not get ill. I need to try to get fitter soon though, so that my job feels easier.

Interesting though- that you do all that and, still feel suicidal. Doesn't say much for those who insist that all we need to do is get some exercise!

I do agree in principle though. It makes sense to try to keep options open- if we have to keep on living. I suppose some people are actively pursuing a course of self destruction to force them to eventually CTB but- I don't fancy that either. I'm more in the middle. I don't want things to deteriorate but, I enjoy being lazy.

I suppose that's the problem really. I get so much joy out of unhealthy things.
 
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bankai

bankai

Mage
Mar 16, 2025
591
Not really. Doing the bare minimum to try to not get ill. I need to try to get fitter soon though, so that my job feels easier.

Interesting though- that you do all that and, still feel suicidal. Doesn't say much for those who insist that all we need to do is get some exercise!

I do agree in principle though. It makes sense to try to keep options open- if we have to keep on living. I suppose some people are actively pursuing a course of self destruction to force them to eventually CTB but- I don't fancy that either. I'm more in the middle. I don't want things to deteriorate but, I enjoy being lazy.

I suppose that's the problem really. I get so much joy out of unhealthy things.
I just ordered some miso ramen and chicken gyōza, I do have a cheat meal here and there.
 
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W

waitin2go

30~years passive ideation, 2025 active research
Apr 26, 2025
49
Not really... I used to do those things but idk I never recovered from the burnout and now just laying waste; doing anything out of taking walks makes me feel really crap the next few weeks

I just want out :/ even from the responsibility of having to take care of the physical body

I have to walk upstairs
Tbh I'm glad I live a place where I have to use the stairs, and I can't afford a car so rely on walking/public transport - or else I would be sedentary af
Interesting though- that you do all that and, still feel suicidal. Doesn't say much for those who insist that all we need to do is get some exercise!
Thisss like do I really wanna suffer physically with the mental/emotional suffering???
Interesting though- that you do all that and, still feel suicidal. Doesn't say much for those who insist that all we need to do is get some exercise!
Thisss like do I really wanna suffer physically with the mental/emotional suffering???
 
Griever

Griever

Alone Among Ghosts
May 1, 2025
130
Because I'm anorexic, I don't eat. But I need energy to function. Sometimes I try to eat something, even if it's difficult. So I'm taking care of my physical health, right?
 
bankai

bankai

Mage
Mar 16, 2025
591
Because I'm anorexic, I don't eat. But I need energy to function. Sometimes I try to eat something, even if it's difficult. So I'm taking care of my physical health, right?
1746527549480

We do need to be healthy till the time comes.Poor health only makes things tougher till that time.
 
Last edited:

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