
hobbydevil
Anxiously biting fingernails.
- Sep 8, 2019
- 60
I am so, so sick of all the platitudes at this point.
"It'll get better!" "You just have to continue on and better times will come! Be brave!" "You can't see the light right now because you are depressed, get treatment and everything will seem much brighter!"
What are they even basing those empty phrases on? They have no idea what life is like for me. The reasons why I don't want to live are permanent and unfixable, and the best I can do is forever cope with the sadness and regrets somehow. And that's just not a life worth living to me, simple as that.
Sure, there are people who will benefit from "toughing it out", but that advice turns to dust quickly when faced with a grave enough permanent issue that can't be solved, only coped with.
And when I weigh the pros and cons of forever trying to cope vs putting an end to the misery, all the nice little distractions of life just don't measure up.
People in my life who are aware of my mental state always seem to assume my problem is that I'm just so hopeless that I can't see the good things - but I *can* see them, they're just not worth it to me, especially when I take into consideration how much more I would have enjoyed them if I hadn't fucked up my life and health.
I had a decent life before it all went to shit, I'd rather call it quits right now while I can still remember all the good things, instead of continuing to trudge along for empty hope.
Sorry, I just had to rant to someone for a moment.
"It'll get better!" "You just have to continue on and better times will come! Be brave!" "You can't see the light right now because you are depressed, get treatment and everything will seem much brighter!"
What are they even basing those empty phrases on? They have no idea what life is like for me. The reasons why I don't want to live are permanent and unfixable, and the best I can do is forever cope with the sadness and regrets somehow. And that's just not a life worth living to me, simple as that.
Sure, there are people who will benefit from "toughing it out", but that advice turns to dust quickly when faced with a grave enough permanent issue that can't be solved, only coped with.
And when I weigh the pros and cons of forever trying to cope vs putting an end to the misery, all the nice little distractions of life just don't measure up.
People in my life who are aware of my mental state always seem to assume my problem is that I'm just so hopeless that I can't see the good things - but I *can* see them, they're just not worth it to me, especially when I take into consideration how much more I would have enjoyed them if I hadn't fucked up my life and health.
I had a decent life before it all went to shit, I'd rather call it quits right now while I can still remember all the good things, instead of continuing to trudge along for empty hope.
Sorry, I just had to rant to someone for a moment.