
Naysha
Antinatalist+Goth
- Jan 13, 2020
- 48
I was thinking if I should write it in recovery but it isn't really recovering. I finally returned to my book and started writing again, currently have 8 pages and all are in English (although bit shabby). I wish I could be lucky. I stopped writing in Czech because people here suck, I stopped writing entirely because life sucks.
I returned to it now and I wish I would luck out and wouldn't have to resort to self publish on e-book or somewhere else so no one will notice it. I wish I could end up like J. K. Rowling in terms of notoriety, I don't even be rich from it I just want people to notice it.
But then I start thinking that I am just nobody queer from small country, my English is not bad but definitely not perfect and I do not have any money or persuasion to get my book finished and on top of that it's depressing story - think dark souls meets fairytales and Lovecraft and I don't think even nerds would like it. I hate it when I start to think about that. Now I'll sound selfish and narcissistic but I suck at everything other than my imagination and I think my book is world-building and setting-wise really great and maybe original even (as original as one can get) but I just don't think I will luck out before I ctb.
I returned to it now and I wish I would luck out and wouldn't have to resort to self publish on e-book or somewhere else so no one will notice it. I wish I could end up like J. K. Rowling in terms of notoriety, I don't even be rich from it I just want people to notice it.
But then I start thinking that I am just nobody queer from small country, my English is not bad but definitely not perfect and I do not have any money or persuasion to get my book finished and on top of that it's depressing story - think dark souls meets fairytales and Lovecraft and I don't think even nerds would like it. I hate it when I start to think about that. Now I'll sound selfish and narcissistic but I suck at everything other than my imagination and I think my book is world-building and setting-wise really great and maybe original even (as original as one can get) but I just don't think I will luck out before I ctb.
Last edited: