raindrops
Someday, eventually
- Mar 29, 2020
- 450
I always take 1 step forward and 2 steps back. I do think I may have Bipolar disorder at this point because I go from feeling mania to very depressed all the time. I hate doctors though and try live my life to the fullest. I hate to say it when I don't truly know but if only you could spend time with me in rl only then you'd understand as they say - "if you want to truly get to know a person, go live with them"
The one thing that seemingly upsets me, trolls me, hurts me, annoys me is being blocked or removed as a friend on Facebook I truly feel that in way is a message to you by not saying it to your literal fucking face. So they block or remove you.
A so called "friend" who attended my mother's funeral (I'm saying that because this is why I'm so infuriated) she removed me as a friend on Facebook and because I'm an adult some part of me does not want to question her about it. Like wtf.
We're not close close, we're more acquaintance-friends which is strange to say because she came to me when she was deciding on having an abortion! She came to me and asked me what to do!
Yes that was years ago probably like 8-9 years ago but still, am I petty to feel wronged by this person?
My perception of it is this -
Grow up together as kids/teenagers.
Comes to my mother's funeral.
We stay friends closely for a few years.
She gets on with life as do I,
I'm now removed on fb as a friend.
It just screams to me that people do not care at all. How can someone attend a funeral, be close to them and okay you drift apart because of adult life (i mean she had a kid and has a massive friend group anyway) but to then choose to not want to see your face or words. It's nasty and childish.
That's my whole perception of it.
I've never said anything to her personally or to one of her friends.
I have no idea why people choose to cut people off for no reason and I'm expected to see her in public and then what act normal?! That's crazy. I'll just ignore her but how sad to think. Sad to also think people seem to just act like they care for others, through celebrities they share their posts about suicide - they watch Ricky Gervais' After Life and these so called people who say they understand suicide well imo they don't. It's all just virtue signalling, they act like they care through hashtags like #bekind.
For some and for me anyway it's the small petty things that break me, how people can be there one minute and drop you the next.
I haven't many friends out of choice and I keep myself to myself so her removing me hurt me, my group is small and I share childhood memories with this person and her childhood was good for sure, my mother was friends with her mother! They did similar work. So thinking of all this has put me back 10000000 steps, it makes me think people just do not care at all.
*edited because I don't wanna be judged ill be honest.
The one thing that seemingly upsets me, trolls me, hurts me, annoys me is being blocked or removed as a friend on Facebook I truly feel that in way is a message to you by not saying it to your literal fucking face. So they block or remove you.
A so called "friend" who attended my mother's funeral (I'm saying that because this is why I'm so infuriated) she removed me as a friend on Facebook and because I'm an adult some part of me does not want to question her about it. Like wtf.
We're not close close, we're more acquaintance-friends which is strange to say because she came to me when she was deciding on having an abortion! She came to me and asked me what to do!
Yes that was years ago probably like 8-9 years ago but still, am I petty to feel wronged by this person?
My perception of it is this -
Grow up together as kids/teenagers.
Comes to my mother's funeral.
We stay friends closely for a few years.
She gets on with life as do I,
I'm now removed on fb as a friend.
It just screams to me that people do not care at all. How can someone attend a funeral, be close to them and okay you drift apart because of adult life (i mean she had a kid and has a massive friend group anyway) but to then choose to not want to see your face or words. It's nasty and childish.
That's my whole perception of it.
I've never said anything to her personally or to one of her friends.
I have no idea why people choose to cut people off for no reason and I'm expected to see her in public and then what act normal?! That's crazy. I'll just ignore her but how sad to think. Sad to also think people seem to just act like they care for others, through celebrities they share their posts about suicide - they watch Ricky Gervais' After Life and these so called people who say they understand suicide well imo they don't. It's all just virtue signalling, they act like they care through hashtags like #bekind.
For some and for me anyway it's the small petty things that break me, how people can be there one minute and drop you the next.
I haven't many friends out of choice and I keep myself to myself so her removing me hurt me, my group is small and I share childhood memories with this person and her childhood was good for sure, my mother was friends with her mother! They did similar work. So thinking of all this has put me back 10000000 steps, it makes me think people just do not care at all.
*edited because I don't wanna be judged ill be honest.
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