Venting bpd shitshow

[SweetTangerine]

my boyfriend (who is also my fp) is ignoring me because i told him to stop asking me why i'm sad. i'm so fucking useless.

usually he goes to bed at around 3AM so he should be asleep by now, but he's been ignoring me since 11PM and it's triggering ym paranoia and anxiety so fucking bad, but also just today he told me that i scare him when i vent to him (i just get very passionately angry and i only vent over text)

i relapsed so hard but if i tell him i'll be scared that he'll tell me i'm guilt tripping him or something of the sorts.

 

[BeansOfRequirement]

So glad I've never had a gf, since this sort of thing is common in romantic relationships! I'm very sorry to hear this, I'm sure he likes you but is a bit scared and needs some space at the moment. If you can use this time to centre yourself a bit, maybe the relationship will be good as new when you start talking again.

 

[LittleBabyNothing]

Those borderline moments are hell, i feel your despair.
You need to let him have his space. Use this time for you. Vent here or write it elsewhere. Push yourself to name specfic feelings.
Mostly be kind to yourself, with bpd we act out like this to defend from something else, something painful. Acknowledge what's hurting and address it with kindness. Easier said than done i know, i still get it wrong and push people away when i need love most.
Hugs and strength, StayBeautifulX

 

[Brink]

I feel sorry that you're struggling and understand how exhausting it is to meet the criteria for BPD.

Are you in some sort of treatment for your ill health? He doesn't live to validate you, and it sounds like you're being very suffocating and unfair.

It's your responsibility to regulate your emotions and not mistreat people. When you say you've relapsed, do you mean with your condition or with substances?

If you think deep down that by telling him you've relapsed you're being manipulative, then don't. It's unhealthy to bottle things up in relationships, but sometimes you have to protect the other person from what might be a spout of mental ill health. It often gets better with age, but a healthy, nonjudgemental professional can be a godsend too. Also, I've found reading a form of self-help with PDs.