Can the people in your life tell that you are losing your shit/at the point of killing yourself?

[misthios2040]

I don't think anyone knows that I'm on the cusps of ctb. My doctor told me that I seem very stable but I know in my heart that I'm gonna jump off a bridge soon so how stable am I really? I'm at the point where even if things get better I'll still be depressed. So my only option is to hang myself or at least fuck up my body so that I am unable to move. At least then no one can blame me for shit I never did.

 

[toadpoison]

Yeah they can totally tell. My mom has been asking why im so tired and at one point I told her I think I might CTB in the next month but she just brushed me off and told me im fine.
My partner has been worried about my sh on my legs starting up agien but I tell him its only for the feeling and somehow he believes me. My friends have stopped reaching out because I've become a bore and I have no one else.

 

[BlazingBob]

Most people are so wrapped up in their own worlds to notice or care. They only notice when you're gone and even then it's only about how it'll affect their emotions or might inconvenience them. Humans have always been selfish and shallow and social media has made it exponentially worse. I can't leave this shit hole of a world soon enough. Good riddance.

 

[Unending]

It has been like this for quite a while now so I feel like everyone is fully aware that I'm struggling immensely to hold it together but it seems as though there isn't much talk surrounding my mental state these days. Other than the surface level, "How are you?" types of questions, I haven't been engaging much at all in sharing my feelings. That being said, I don't feel like it is too hard to decipher how I feel by just looking at me these days. I think that I just attempt not to engage in the same repetitive talks with my loved ones as I used to. It gets really old after a while and there comes a time, in my experience, where it just makes things worse.

 

[Is0lated]

I feel like people can tell that something is off about me, but they have no idea of the full extent. Is it going to come as a surprise to people when you CTB or do you think they'll be like, "yeah the signs were there."

No one really found out so far

 

[Scythe]

No I'm rather functional, although idk for how much longer. My family has no idea. The only reason my online friends know I'm suicidal is because I talk about it.

 

[hermestrimegistus]

In the recent past, yes. Now, no. I'm way too good at masking it. I would rather them not know. Easier that way. Also alcohol helps

 

[Doz]

My 'family' is WAY too retarded to notice mask or not.

 

[theobromine]

it definitely won't be a surprise to people i care about since i'm almost openly suicidal.

 

[nozomu]

Yes. Even when I don't express it or seem outwardly upset my partner asks me if I'm okay whenever I think about suicide. I'm surprised they can tell.

 

[udusa]

I'm pretty sure my family won't even think about it because some of them never cared about how I felt after all

And friends, I don't really know, they've told me I've been acting strange (that has been happening for some months after I fully decided I was going to ctb) but in some way it's normal for me to act strange, it's not the first time that happens.

 

[girltwink]

Yeah. My friends start asking if I'm ok, noticing I'm becoming distant. If I ever do it, I'll feel bad for them to be honest. And my cat.

My mom never notices. I'm pretty sure I'm going to do it in her house so she can find my body, its just us in the house so hopefully its traumatizing.

 

[moondazed]

I feel like people can tell that something is off about me, but they have no idea of the full extent. Is it going to come as a surprise to people when you CTB or do you think they'll be like, "yeah the signs were there."

I think I've threatened my friends and family enough over the last decade that they're always expecting it. But, I've gotten pretty good at hiding my desire to not be alive when it bubbles out of my delusional optimism. Nice to have the board so I don't freak people IRL out

 

[silligant]

Sometimes I act a little off but for the most part I don't think people know; I've tried pretty hard to hide it. I think that when it all comes to light after I'm gone they'll be able to see the signs pretty clearly in hindsight

 

[bridgegirl]

They can tell, because I've told them. No one cares.

 

[BonboTheMonkey]

Lmao my roommate called me a virgin loser today again. If he knows he doesn't care at all lol

 

[snowcloud9]

People naturally don't want to think about death. I can probably make serious comments about dying, but since I present myself as cheerful externally, they would think that I'm joking.

 

[soulessbunny]

noone in my family has any idea. Funny thing is they are all on some form of medication for mental health issues, lol I guess you can say I'm the normal one, I mean they don't make meds yet for a brain that can recall events/scenes/situs for life in detail and even change the angle of it, if they have I need them lol but no no one has a clue, I got to a point where I can cry in bathroom and it's like a ugly silent streaming cry, then walk out and I look perfectly normal. Even after sh,still I either am super good at hiding everything or literally they don't care, too self absorbed. Only person who has any idea or knows I've sh, is my fiancé but most days I can literally mask any feelings even from him.

 

[steppenwolf]

No. Most people can't tell that there's anything that needs changing about human civilization, not even with millions of war dead, climate change apocalypse, universal want and enough nuclear warheads to account for five tons of high explosives for every man, woman and child on the planet. Why would they notice your struggle to survive in it?

Incidentally, the answer to the struggle to survive in human civilization is to not survive in it. For some that means suicide. But it is possible - and necessary - to survive outside of it, even whilst being held in bondage by it. Look at the historical struggle of the African diaspora.

 

[spirittheyregone]

I keep getting the "wait until youre in a good headspace and mentally prepare so I can tell you something" and I got the fan favorite "I think you should go back to the hospital yesterday"

 

[MelancholyDolly]

I think it's very obvious that I'm off the rails. I don't try to hide at all. Even for a stranger they can usually tell something is off and will try to stop me when they see me doing something "suspicious". Kinda sucks but I'm tired of pretending to be quiet and gentle and normal all the time. Sometimes you just gotta let loose by running away and going to an abandoned playground lololol (⁠*⁠´⁠ω⁠｀⁠*⁠)

 

[bungalow13]

For me personally, I think most will think the signs were there. I doubt my departure will have too much of an effect tho.

I don't see people missing anyone in these times. Everyone just use each other.

 

[wastingtime]

I had a friend ask me how i'm doing, told her i dont feel too well, she asked if its physical or mental. i said mental and literally all she said was "oh ok then" and shrugged it off. hah

 

[ChiseHatori]

I've been lying to my ex husband about taking SSRIs, and he thinks that I have been taking them, and for that I've been getting better. In actuality, I've gotten worse... he's blind.

 

[figurehead]

My husband (mostly/unfortunately) can tell when I'm losing it. He never checks my phone, but he can just tell when I think of nothing else but suicide. I think he's just been "domesticated" enough and he can surely detect when I start a downward spiral. My daughter is quite oblivious tho. I've successfully found ways to hide it from her, I do remember the first time heard me on the phone saying that I wanted to CBT. Children don't really deserve to know that her parent is cracking up, I don't think.

 

[wiinterfrost]

can they tell? oh honey they all know. i asked for help multiple times, searching and begging and pleading and instead everyone i knew left me. no one would be surprised yet i bet everyone at my funeral would dare cry tears and have heartfelt speeches or whatever. i hope my body will never be found and that people only realise that i am dead maybe a year after it happens. no one checks up on me. no one would be around to notice that i am dead.

 

[Division Day]

Everyone can tell that I've lost it because my anxiety is bad enough I visibly shake and walk super slowly. It's difficult for someone to judge from the outside how bad it is. If anyone had to experience it for a week, I think they'd have zero surprise that I want out though.

 

[OreosAndDeath]

The one person I've told I'm suicidal is refusing to talk to me and accused me of blaming them when in reality I just needed someone to talk to.

In my experience people only give a shit because it makes them look bad, if it wasn't taboo to be friends with someone who ctb most people wouldn't care.

 

[hellispink]

Depends on the person. I am very good at hiding my emotions and my struggles. I grew up with enemies. You never show your scars and wounds to enemies because they will kilk you. I learned that. So nobody knows and i dont care about it either

 

[noname223]

I think I am pretty good at hiding it. It is Christmas and I spend it with my mom, her husband and my grandma. They don't know how close I was to kill myself in October. I thought it might traumatize me but it only made me more numb.