Venting close relative passed away

[ccs]

I'm sorry if I'm doing something wrong, I read the rules and guides but I haven't used internet forums before this so I feel anxious about posting.

The one person in my life who genuinely cared about me slowly passed away after getting ill this fall. I knew deep down this would happen eventually with her age, but I'm really struggling to cope with it since she's been my main reason to not CTB for years.
I feel so sad realizing that she was the only person in my life that was unconditionally kind to me. My parents can tell I'm spiraling but don't care at all and it just makes it feel so much worse.

I don't see the point of living in a world without her but I also know that me following her would be the last thing she'd ever want. I just don't know what to do

 

[gottacheckout]

I'm so sorry for your loss. I found when I lost my family members that I need to take some time to mourn and process everything. There will be several stages you will probably go through. This is not a good time to act impulsively.

Your post is perfectly fine, nothing wrong with asking for help

 

[whywere]

My heart breaks into a million pieces for you.

You are such a kind soul, I REALLY picked that out from your post and folks like YOU are always the cornerstone of life.

Back in 1982, my best friend EVER accidently died and at that moment in time, I told myself that I would try and live the best life in helping and being kind to others.

I hope, pray, wish that you heal and be the shining star that your friend would want of you.

You are carrying forth your friend's desire for love and to be kind, you are a wonderful spirit!!!!!

Walter