wow, i genuinely didn't expect this post to get any attention. thank you for the kind words and the mutual feelings. makes me feel seen, i greatly appreciate it. thank you all.
It sounds very tricky because, to invest time in you and be interested in you, I imagine a lot of people would be more keen on a longer term commitment- even in terms of friendship. But then, knowing you'll likely want to drop them probably wouldn't sound great.
I admire that you're conscious to not just use people. Make them believe they are close and then, drop them.
I wonder if there are people that can handle short term, intense friendships/ relationships. I don't really know how you even go about finding them though. It sounds as if you also fear them dropping you too early though.
Sorry, I don't really know what to suggest. I guess, laying your cards out on the table to begin with sounds the fairest thing to do.
So, here once, I started PMing with someone. They were really lovely. They've left the site now. But, they seemed as though they could be very intense and then, go totally cold. They told me they had Borderline. That's not their fault- of course.
But, I know myself. I'm actually ok alone but then, it's tempting to latch on to something that seems like it could be a close and meaningful connection. But then realistically, if that would end in them abandoning me- that's not something I want to go through again. I've already lost pretty much- a best friend due to our lives being so different and time constraints. I didn't handle that brilliantly. I think we all have to assess ourselves and, what we can cope with emotionally. Some of us are probably better suited to shorter term or unreliable intense relationships.
that's the hard part with connecting with people. just knowing in anywhere from a few months to a couple years they'll more than likely be an afterthought due to my own actions (or response to theirs) makes it a bit harder. i could never use people. the idea is absolutely sickening, i've been on the receiving end so participating in that would bring great shame to myself. i've tried gaining friendships with people and being honest with them, but people tend to flake away after i give them a heads up saying "hey, i'll probably disappear at some point. nothing against you, sorry in advance." very blunt but it's better to be straight up and not lead people along. pming people wouldn't be a hard idea, i guess i'm scared to make the first move. i'm like a spider, solitarily sitting in my web waiting for my prey to stumble in. horrible way of putting it, but it's the best analogy i have. isloation is fine, for the most part, but in a not so shocking turn of events it's quite lonely. i'm sorry to hear about you losing your friend, even if it's something silly as people living their lives it doesn't make it any less hard.
you're pretty similar to me I guess. I have a hard time opening up to people and have also subjected myself to self isolation.
I've not had great past relationships mostly, I wish i could get some good people in my life. it's mostly all about chemistry. even 2 scumbags can actually end up being genuine friends lol. you see this in high schools especially where a band of jocks or bully types will band together. some of them are terrible people in general but will actually be genuine friends with others in their clique.
it's so strange. ironically it's incredibly easy for me to talk to people and interact, i'm quite social to a certain extent. but i've always got one arm extended keeping them at length. everyone knows Sunderland, but nobody knows Sunderland. nice pfp btw.
I get nervous around folks sometimes and that leads to me being a motor mouth HOWEVER, I ramble about everything but me.
I keep to myself as I do not like opening up and getting garbage and a hard time. The only place that I have ever opened up is on here and that is because I love helping people and to do that sometimes I have to share parts of my life to do that.
Walter
Waltuh... i completely understand you waltuh... seriously. it's so easy to ramble on about meaningless bullshit, but the moment i need to show someone bare flesh i shut down. i think it's easier to be open here than anywhere. i appreciate you sir, you're a refreshing presence.
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I get the predicament. I think I've only connected deeply with 2 people in my life - my ex fiance and my best friend who ctb. Neither of them have been in my life for a long time now. I kind of want the connection again. But I'm not sure I have it in me to dedicate the energy required to make that happen. It's like I want to know in advance if you will become like one of those 2 for me, then I'll do it, otherwise I'm probably going to stay distant. I've become very accustomed to life alone, I recognise that connection would be valuable but only the right kind of connection, and since I can't know who that is in advance, I just repress the desire and ignore opportunities to make it happen.
Unfortunately I have no answers as I feel like I'm in a loosely related spot asking similar questions.
god dude, i feel this all too well. ex-fiance, as previously mentioned, and childhood friend who passed too soon. that's a whole different can of worms. in the same boat as you with wanting connection again, i also roll it over my mind whether i have the emotional stability to keep people around long enough to make it worthwhile. cheers mate, i'm drinking with you
There's not enough left of me to connect with anyone. It's the main reason I need to go.
o7 you and me both boss man
