Venting creeps everywhere

[megafire]

why do people only care about sex, what parts you have, how many secondary sex characteristics you can collect like its a goddamn Pokemon game??? it's CREEPY and that extends to this site, which I foolishly believed was a haven from all that.

I reached out to an individual on here who was lonely because I'm lonely too, and I tried to forge a friendship. I told them I was nonbinary and androgenous and they kept asking questions. I answered them as best I could- born a girl, two X chromosomes, but don't identify as one. I'm somewhere in the middle, if a person at all. I'm just a blob. But the questions just kept coming, and became more and more invasive. Goddammit why do people only care about sex??? it's sickening, I just wanted to make a new friend with someone who could relate to me but apparently that's way too much to ask for. The distance between us was inviting too, like hey let's get to know one another! Guess that just invites more creeps.

Ugh I'm just so sick of humanity again. Like people face-to-face are idiotic, sex-obsessed pigs, so why would that change online? I guess I thought this site was like a filter for them.

I'm bitter I suppose. Bitter that I can never make a friend who isn't obsessed with sex. Like goddammit dude, I get not understanding being nonbinary, I was patient, I explained and explained but then he asks me about my genetalia. WHO CARES??? WHY IS THAT YOUR BUSINESS??? PUT TWO AND TWO TOGETHER, I WAS BORN A GIRL, WHO FUCKING CARES????

Tempted to run a bath of bleach to cleanse myself but I know I'm just being "hysterical"

 

[DivineMedicus]

Deoxyribonucleic Acid: probably the most evil fucking thing to ever come into existence. Your DNA wants you to obey, give into your animalistic desires and programming in order to make more copies of itself. Absolutely splendid, right? Forget meaningful relationships where people discuss interesting ideas/topics like "why the fuck do we exist?" or "what is the point of all this bullshit?", no that would be too inconvenient. Instead, Mr. DNA wants you to keep on BREEDING and bring more slaves into this fucked up world. I'm often inclined to believe that something truly vile unleashed this microscopic beast unto this world, because to me it seems like the design of an absolute madman.

 

[262653]

How interesting... I've noticed myself experiencing occasional infatuation with people I talk, even on this forum. Ebbs and flows, Ebbs and flows. I wonder how actually common it is? What's the prevalence (amount of objects, and frequency) of infatuation as a function of sex?

why do people only care about sex

What kind of attention you would recieve if you were to portray yourself as a male, what do you think?

I also think that a lot of frustration and disappointment can be prevented if we people become generally more open about what we want and what we don't want.

 

[OpheliasFlowers]

I'm sorry you had that experience, here or anywhere. I've learned in my lifetime there are a LOT of creeps in this world both online and in real life. To me it seems like the creeps have more ways to express their 'creepiness' than they did 20 or 30 years ago, thanks to technology. And also nowadays sex is so...everything. We are a hypersexualized society and being more open about sex and sexuality is a double-edged sword, imo. Try to just focus on the positives that have come to pass over the years regarding being able to talk more freely about sexuality and express oneself more honestly, and pity the people like the one you just encountered. But even decades ago, creeps were abundant enough that you had to be careful and discerning about who you befriended or opened up to and even if you were careful, sometimes you still got burned. I know all this doesn't help you to feel better about what you went through with that person though. I am so sorry. There are good people out there though...don't allow this experience to sour you completely (I know that's not easy). to you

 

[megafire]

How interesting... I've noticed myself experiencing occasional infatuation with people I talk, even on this forum. Ebbs and flows, Ebbs and flows. I wonder how actually common it is? What's the prevalence (amount of objects, and frequency) of infatuation as a function of sex?

probably an equation out there that will tell you, but its got to do with how much serotonin you release when you speak to a particular individual. for some people, that particular kind of person is Any Person With XX Chromosomes, regardless of age, ethnicity, height, interests, anything.

What kind of attention you would recieve if you were to portray yourself as a male, what do you think?

I typed a long-ass thing and I deleted it so let me try this again lol. If I had presented as a cis man-XY chromosome-, the outcome would've been almost certainly platonic. For some reason, men on the internet are considered the "norm", the default, and women- other gender identities much less so- are considered deviations from that norm. Even though the world is split between XX and XY nearly half and half, with the ratio being 51% women and 49% men. So why is it that men lose all their braincells and become drooling Neanderthals that bang their sticks on the ground as soon as someone identifies as a woman- or a nonbinary person with female attributes- screaming, "BEWBBBBBS!!!"

If I had identified as trans-man or trans-woman, the outcome is uncertain, it's a shifting variable. Some people have a lot of hate in their hearts for trans-folk, or the opposite, they have fetishes. Most take it in stride, I feel, or begin to ask for very graphic, uncomfortable details that is private business.

I also think that a lot of frustration and disappointment can be prevented if we people become generally more open about what we want and what we don't want.

Here's my take on it- regardless of who, what, when, where, why, every interaction with a person you do not know should be approached from a platonic angle. If you want to be friendlier or more cautious is up to your discretion, but for two self-proclaimed "lonely people", there is no need for the sexual aspects. I cannot for the life of me fathom why asking about a person's genitals is the first thing you think of when you have only just started PMing. Frustration and disappointment is not the half of it, these people- men on the internet- are creeps.

 

[LONE WOLF.]

Oh what l would give for a sexless relationship with a woman of a similar age, looks don't mean shit, but a compatible personality and to be able to enjoy intelligent conversation and enjoyable pillow talk, am l asking too much to want just that? At least I'm allowed to dream!!!

 

[megafire]

Deoxyribonucleic Acid: probably the most evil fucking thing to ever come into existence. Your DNA wants you to obey, give into your animalistic desires and programming in order to make more copies of itself. Absolutely splendid, right? Forget meaningful relationships where people discuss interesting ideas/topics like "why the fuck do we exist?" or "what is the point of all this bullshit?", no that would be too inconvenient. Instead, Mr. DNA wants you to keep on BREEDING and bring more slaves into this fucked up world. I'm often inclined to believe that something truly vile unleashed this microscopic beast unto this world, because to me it seems like the design of an absolute madman.

it's primitive design for sure. Regardless of how fucked up your brain is and how bad of an idea it would be to pass along your genes to any living, sentient creature............ why dont u doe? ;) If I was still a Marxist I would comment how convenient it is for the propagation of The System to have the masses replenishing the working force through sheer biology alone... oh wait I just did didn't I?

Listen, I wasn't interested in any kind of relationship with this guy, other than platonic. But if I was looking for something more, the last way I would be wooed would be by invasive questions on exactly how my body looked. Curiosity is one thing, but there is a line.

It's funny because I was trying to ask those deeper questions with him, but he kept going in circles and it got boring. So I tried talking about other things, but there's only so much you can do.

I'm sorry you had that experience, here or anywhere. I've learned in my lifetime there are a LOT of creeps in this world both online and in real life. To me it seems like the creeps have more ways to express their 'creepiness' than they did 20 or 30 years ago, thanks to technology. And also nowadays sex is so...everything. We are a hypersexualized society and being more open about sex and sexuality is a double-edged sword, imo. Try to just focus on the positives that have come to pass over the years regarding being able to talk more freely about sexuality and express oneself more honestly, and pity the people like the one you just encountered. But even decades ago, creeps were abundant enough that you had to be careful and discerning about who you befriended or opened up to and even if you were careful, sometimes you still got burned. I know all this doesn't help you to feel better about what you went through with that person though. I am so sorry. There are good people out there though...don't allow this experience to sour you completely (I know that's not easy). to you

Thanks for your comment, Ophelia (love your username! how poetic- er, literary). Sex is behind literally everything, and it only gets more pervasive with the constant connection to technology. It's easier to sell your product by appealing to the basest instinct, it turns off the cognitive parts of people's brains and activates the Hornie Lizard Brain. Gets even easier when you can shove it in everyone's face all day long.

I have a lot of experience with creeps, as I've been on shady sites and the Internet in general since I was a kid. As for me, I've been burned and jaded by them, and I have a pretty despicable view on people now. They are so easily controlled by sex, and it completely numbs their brains. Just thinking about it floods the brain with serotonin, now multiply that by 100 from the constant influx of sexual marketing, television, anime, etc. It's overwhelming for our poor nervous systems. In the Good Old Days, writers had to resort to using weird ass metaphors about pickle plates for their audience to get the reference. It was also a time when being sexually repressed, gender-wise included, was common, so not all that hyped up. A more sexually liberated society requires more sex to be promoted in order for the times to desensitize itself.

I guess I assumed this site above Biological Law, that it was sacred because it was a real site where real people could share their struggles that others could relate to, not to mention it's not an easy site to find. It's beautiful, and there are beautiful people on it. There are also creeps, and it took that encounter to wake me up to it.

 

[Panna]

why do people only care about sex, what parts you have, how many secondary sex characteristics you can collect like its a goddamn Pokemon game??? it's CREEPY and that extends to this site, which I foolishly believed was a haven from all that.

I reached out to an individual on here who was lonely because I'm lonely too, and I tried to forge a friendship. I told them I was nonbinary and androgenous and they kept asking questions. I answered them as best I could- born a girl, two X chromosomes, but don't identify as one. I'm somewhere in the middle, if a person at all. I'm just a blob. But the questions just kept coming, and became more and more invasive. Goddammit why do people only care about sex??? it's sickening, I just wanted to make a new friend with someone who could relate to me but apparently that's way too much to ask for. The distance between us was inviting too, like hey let's get to know one another! Guess that just invites more creeps.

Ugh I'm just so sick of humanity again. Like people face-to-face are idiotic, sex-obsessed pigs, so why would that change online? I guess I thought this site was like a filter for them.

I'm bitter I suppose. Bitter that I can never make a friend who isn't obsessed with sex. Like goddammit dude, I get not understanding being nonbinary, I was patient, I explained and explained but then he asks me about my genetalia. WHO CARES??? WHY IS THAT YOUR BUSINESS??? PUT TWO AND TWO TOGETHER, I WAS BORN A GIRL, WHO FUCKING CARES????

Tempted to run a bath of bleach to cleanse myself but I know I'm just being "hysterical"

You're fine to feel that way, it's definitely hard finding others who don't focus on it. Im somewhat similar in the sense that sex is by far the furthest thing from my mind, the idea of folks sweaty and filthy in the sack mating like rabbits is sickening to say the least. In my mind a relationship between two people should always be the experiences they share, this being the laughter, the excitement, to temporarily relieve the pain of loneliness that always creeps back into our hearts, despite desperately wishing for it to go for good. I always wonder why it has to be so hard, it's such a pain.

 

[Life_and_Death]

Oh what l would give for a sexless relationship with a woman of a similar age, looks don't mean shit, but a compatible personality and to be able to enjoy intelligent conversation and enjoyable pillow talk, am l asking too much to want just that? At least I'm allowed to dream!!!

YES!!! no you're not asking too much lol. I agree with you. I'm in a relationship currently and I sort of hate it. I love him (I think...) and part of the problem is my disorders but another part is touching. Idk if it's my past, idk if it's the vibe he gives off but I swear aside from the occasional time like maybe a hug but even then I get this sexual feeling from it and I hate it. I just want to be loved.

 

[LONE WOLF.]

YES!!! no you're not asking too much lol. I agree with you. I'm in a relationship currently and I sort of hate it. I love him (I think...) and part of the problem is my disorders but another part is touching. Idk if it's my past, idk if it's the vibe he gives off but I swear aside from the occasional time like maybe a hug but even then I get this sexual feeling from it and I hate it. I just want to be loved.

Thank you Aspen :-)

 

[MindFog]

Yeah, it's annoying.. I usually identify as the other gender when talking so everthing runs smoothly. But when I suddenly announce my real gender, they change.

And even older people had that fixation. I cant even count how many times I 've been asked if I have a BF or telling me "the clock's ticking". Jeez, they cant just lay it off..

 

[lost_soul83]

why do people only care about sex, what parts you have, how many secondary sex characteristics you can collect like its a goddamn Pokemon game??? it's CREEPY and that extends to this site, which I foolishly believed was a haven from all that.

I reached out to an individual on here who was lonely because I'm lonely too, and I tried to forge a friendship. I told them I was nonbinary and androgenous and they kept asking questions. I answered them as best I could- born a girl, two X chromosomes, but don't identify as one. I'm somewhere in the middle, if a person at all. I'm just a blob. But the questions just kept coming, and became more and more invasive. Goddammit why do people only care about sex??? it's sickening, I just wanted to make a new friend with someone who could relate to me but apparently that's way too much to ask for. The distance between us was inviting too, like hey let's get to know one another! Guess that just invites more creeps.

Ugh I'm just so sick of humanity again. Like people face-to-face are idiotic, sex-obsessed pigs, so why would that change online? I guess I thought this site was like a filter for them.

I'm bitter I suppose. Bitter that I can never make a friend who isn't obsessed with sex. Like goddammit dude, I get not understanding being nonbinary, I was patient, I explained and explained but then he asks me about my genetalia. WHO CARES??? WHY IS THAT YOUR BUSINESS??? PUT TWO AND TWO TOGETHER, I WAS BORN A GIRL, WHO FUCKING CARES????

Tempted to run a bath of bleach to cleanse myself but I know I'm just being "hysterical"

I am so sorry you got treated that way by someone on SS. If you'd like a friend, I'm here. You're welcome to PM me anytime and I'll respond as soon as I can. I must admit I don't understand the whole non-binary thing but it doesn't matter to me anyway. You're a person that I would love the chance to get to know. Take care!

 

[LastFlowers]

Listen, this site is absolutely necessary for the topic that is its namesake, BUT as far as your concerns go, it is not going to be any different from any other site on the internet, in that regard.
That's why it is highly suggested that you don't give out certain personal information that anyone with ulterior motives can get off on.
Some people even seem to use this site as an ass backwards dating app.
Hell, I once was outlining the devastation of my issues that related to my appearance and another member had the nerve to downplay them, ignore the points I was making (albeit "gently"), and go out of their way to beat around the bush with platitudes while-get this-simultaneously hitting on another member (unsolicited) with a risqué avatar...in the same response to me that was full of "looks don't matter" garbage.
I mean..come the hell on. So ridiculous.
(The hilarious part was that the picture probably wasn't even them lmao.)
If you look at my profile, one my posts refers to a heavy dose of irony. And that's what I was referring to. I really don't understand how people can lack that level of self awareness, or if they simply just don't care.

There are creeps everywhere. At the end of the day, you may find that the only thing you have in common with some people here, is that you believe in the right to die and/or have an understanding of wanting to end one's suffering. We live in a world that is obsessed with looks, sex, fame, and money. I understand, more than most, feeling alienated by that. As far as the sex-related shit specifically, I have an aversion to sex in general, I try to stay away from labels but I have no interest in participating in any sexual acts.
To me, it's fine, it's a part of myself that doesn't bother me (I have way more pressing issues) but it would probably have a big impact on someone who was less like me in other ways, I doubt they wouldn't have a hard time moving about certain paths of life, like relationships or social banter in general. (I know issues of gender add their own complexities to this problem). And much of this has to do with how prevalent the topic is in this society. Unfortunately, SS cannot filter that out any more than any other forum or platform. Nor any more than we can in our daily lives.
I know it sucks, but we have to become our own filters for that type of nonsense.
I am sorry though, that you were made to feel so uncomfortable.
*(Also, don't forget the option to report or speak to a mod.)

 

[Angst Filled Fuck Up]

Also people please be wary of people on this site who say they want a partner for ctb but really just want a hook up, I have heard some very bad stories from girls I've talked to. Really get to know someone first so you know what they are about.

 

[death137]

Oh what l would give for a sexless relationship with a woman of a similar age, looks don't mean shit, but a compatible personality and to be able to enjoy intelligent conversation and enjoyable pillow talk, am l asking too much to want just that? At least I'm allowed to dream!!!

I don't think you are asking much. I also wish for a sexless relationship.

 

[stygal]

I'm sorry for what happend to you here @megafire.
You're definitely right when you say that questions about ones gender or identity shouldn't matter when finding a meaningful connection to express one's experiences with depression and the wish to ctb.

I don't know the extent of the questions and if you feel like they were invasive - they were - but some people might be interested in this topic and aren't able to express themselves in a more appropriate manner. So I wouldn't just say it's always 100 percent a sexual thing.

Anyways, I can't really speak from experience because when it comes to the internet I've never been talked to inappropriately (because of my gender or in general).
Some "flirty" or "weird" comments maybe...but those I just ignore, don't talk to said person anymore (if in general creepy) or shift the topic.

So I guess I'm one of the lucky few, even on sites where I had my profile picture openly on display nobody would say something...I was told I looked intimidating though :D.

 

[DocNo]

i once played at an online game as a female character with a nice avatar image from a successful and well known actress. and despite it was obvious that it's not me i got tons of pm's from blunt approaches to trying the "being a good friend" tour. i was stunned how it seems that especially some men deactivate the higher cognitive functions and go crazy.

since them i jokingly think that it's a mystery to me that there a not more female serial killers. ^^

 

[saltshaker]

I tried tinder once as the opposite gender, just bored really. The difference was profound, got about 100x more matches then i usually would. A lot of the comments were vulgar.

I understand now why i get ghosted constantly, there's just a huge wave of people flying out of their phones. I imagine it would get very tiring, i wouldn't bother seeking friendship from men, we're twisted.

 

[Amumu]

Listen, this site is absolutely necessary for the topic that is its namesake, BUT as far as your concerns go, it is not going to be any different from any other site on the internet, in that regard.
That's why it is highly suggested that you don't give out certain personal information that anyone with ulterior motives can get off on.
Some people even seem to use this site as an ass backwards dating app.
Hell, I once was outlining the devastation of my issues that related to my appearance and another member had the nerve to downplay them, ignore the points I was making (albeit "gently"), and go out of their way to beat around the bush with platitudes while-get this-simultaneously hitting on another member (unsolicited) with a risqué avatar...in the same response to me that was full of "looks don't matter" garbage.
I mean..come the hell on. So ridiculous.
(The hilarious part was that the picture probably wasn't even them lmao.)
If you look at my profile, one my posts refers to a heavy dose of irony. And that's what I was referring to. I really don't understand how people can lack that level of self awareness, or if they simply just don't care.

There are creeps everywhere. At the end of the day, you may find that the only thing you have in common with some people here, is that you believe in the right to die and/or have an understanding of wanting to end one's suffering. We live in a world that is obsessed with looks, sex, fame, and money. I understand, more than most, feeling alienated by that. As far as the sex-related shit specifically, I have an aversion to sex in general, I try to stay away from labels but I have no interest in participating in any sexual acts.
To me, it's fine, it's a part of myself that doesn't bother me (I have way more pressing issues) but it would probably have a big impact on someone who was less like me in other ways, I doubt they wouldn't have a hard time moving about certain paths of life, like relationships or social banter in general. (I know issues of gender add their own complexities to this problem). And much of this has to do with how prevalent the topic is in this society. Unfortunately, SS cannot filter that out any more than any other forum or platform. Nor any more than we can in our daily lives.
I know it sucks, but we have to become our own filters for that type of nonsense.
I am sorry though, that you were made to feel so uncomfortable.
*(Also, don't forget the option to report or speak to a mod.)

Why are you always so right?

 

[WornOutLife]

Well, it doesn't surprise me at all. Weirdos or people obsessed with sex are everywhere.
I've received some kind of creepy messages too but I just ignore them or report those people.

They're not worth our time.

 

[BeansOfRequirement]

Some gay guy hmu and graphically explained sexual acts he enjoyed doing with his ex boyfriend. My advice for the creeps is to masturbate more, it actually works.

 

[LastFlowers]

Why are you always so right?

Don't give me an ego lol

(I assure you I'm wrong plenty and taken to task for it.)

 

[kkatt]

Enby here too and when I meet someone online,first thing I say is I'm an enby and not looking for anyone. Still get the odd wanker that thinks it's just a challenge

 

[Meditation guide]

There are guys just looking for vulnerable girls here to get some ego or sexual gratification.

 

[Makko]

I just wanted to make a new friend

In another thread you said you are experienced with sexual relationships, so you should have a good idea of how the relations between the sexes work. How can you still think that you as a biological female can make platonic friends with males?

 

[megafire]

In another thread you said you are experienced with sexual relationships, so you should have a good idea of how the relations between the sexes work. How can you still think that you as a biological female can make platonic friends with males?

i suppose its my belief that we can surpass base biological instinct and connect on higher cognitive levels, regardless of what sex you are born into. this is a belief that is constantly challenged by people who can't do that but I know that there are those that are able to, and I hold it because and for them. The trouble is learning how few and far between they are, and I struggle with the frustration of a seemingly "good" one not turning out that way.

 

[Makko]

i suppose its my belief that we can surpass base biological instinct and connect on higher cognitive levels, regardless of what sex you are born into. this is a belief that is constantly challenged by people who can't do that but I know that there are those that are able to, and I hold it because and for them. The trouble is learning how few and far between they are, and I struggle with the frustration of a seemingly "good" one not turning out that way.

Those aren't mutually exclusive. You can connect with men on higher cognitive levels, but the sexual magnetism will always be there as well. It's right there in their genes, they can't do anything to stop it. They can pretend otherwise out of politeness, but this will not be honest. If the man is not castrated or homosexual he will have sexual thoughts when interacting with a woman. No one is a disembodied spirit who is 100% made of higher cognitive functions. Unfortunately.

I had a much easier time interacting with men since I accepted that. This doesn't mean I let them do as they please, but it does mean I have some understanding of the fact that they are inherently sexual beings who can't detach their sexuality and leave it in a box somewhere when it becomes inconvenient.

 

[Meditation guide]

I just wanted to make a new friend with someone who could relate to me but apparently that's way too much to ask for. The distance between us was inviting too, like hey let's get to know one another! Guess that just invites more creeps.

I had a very similar experience recently. He because extremely, relentlessly pushy about wanting my picture. If you agree to P.M. with them the demands start and never stop.

 

[wordsonscreen]

There is something disgusting about humanity. I'm reading On suicide by Jean and he talks about disgust and suicide. Very interesting.

 

[watereyes]

I can somewhat relate, I get asked a thousand questions because I'm transgender. On this site its ok but outside of it lots of creeps.