Cyber-Bulling - What are you feelings on the event that happened at the last concert of the Coldplay?

[My_name_is_Luka]

In the last week I've followed with horror as many people started sharing on all the social networks the photo of what happened at the concert of the Coldplay.
A Ceo invited his HR to the concert and, while he was hugging her watching the show, the cameraman sent their image on a big screen.
Unfortunately for them the world is full of idiots that live only to destroy the life of others.
The video started spreading on social networks and getting reported on news channels from the US to the other side of the world, circulating private information about his identity, company, job, and his family and sons.
He immediately resigned from his job, while on professional networks people kept defaming and bullying him.

I've found it shocking to realize how adults are way worse than school bullies and can group together to destroy a single individual, as he becomes the target of their hate, their jealousy and dissatisfaction.
I wasn't minimally eager to know all the story behind these photos and I think it was his family business to deal with their own problems.
I started raising awareness on the consequences of defamation and bullying, which can affect mental health and lead people to develop depression, retire from society and to take their lives.
And I had to assist with disgust as the network of adults (on Linkedin) started mocking me and laughing at my comments, and resorting to deflection and gaslighting if my tone was too salty.
A few others were brave enough to disapprove this shit-show.

This has given me anxiety and boosted my distrust and disgust that I have for society and people in general (which I already developed after 2 episodes of abuse that I experienced).
It feels as if people are just waiting for others to fail and make a public mistake; then they will get together to destroy him.

So I wanted to interact with other people here to know how they feel about this international mobbing and shame-party against a person.
I believe that some people here experienced bullying or cyber-bullying; I would like to know from them too

 

[cemeteryismyhome]

He's married and he was giving her quite a hug, in public. He's not an innocent victim. His wife and family and company are the victims.

 

[Dejected 55]

So... I'm not a supporter of the doxxing. But the man (married to someone else) and the woman (also married to someone else) were having an affair and didn't even have the good sense NOT to go to a very public concert and have their affair. I mean, they were begging to be caught! I don't mind their image being shared. Kiss-CAM stuff gets shared all the time. And if people recognize them from that shared video/photo then that's the consequences of getting caught having an affair... and losing his job over it, depending on the employer is a valid thing because many companies have ethics clauses and if you're caught doing something that can harm the reputation of the company...

And, you know, in many parts of the USA it is actually illegal to have an affair with someone other than your legal spouse... so it might actually be a crime. Whether or not *I* think it should be a crime is irrelevant. I'm just saying it might be.

I do feel sorry for the families of these people who were cheating... but I think the families of these two despicable cheating people are getting sympathy and understanding for the pain their cheating spouse is putting them through.

So, I'm okay with pretty much all of it except the doxxing. Nobody should have been posting anyone's actual names, phone numbers, addresses, places of work, etc. But as for the individuals themselves doing the cheating being "bullied" I would ask, how so? How are these people the victims of bullying? They not only were having an affair but were VERY public about it without any concern to what might happen if their respective families found out. It is monumentally dumb to be having an affair and go to something like this.

Imagine calling in sick to work and going to a baseball game that is televised and your boss sees you on TV and somehow you tried to claim to be a victim. It's crazy.

 

[Hollowman]

He's a multimillionaire I don't feel sorry for him.

 

[Carrot]

Probably a lot of people are just having fun without thinking too much about if they are hurting anybody.

If people where empathetic this wouldn't have happened in the first place, of course. Yes, he is not innocent, he is guilty, his family is likely devastated, that doesn't mean we need to cyberbully somebody, dox and make tons of memes about it, I find it tasteless. It feels like some people use it as an excuse to act hatefully without any repercussions, with a moral high-ground or superiority. Acting like it's okay to bully somebody because they cheated on somebody is disappointing.

It's difficult to express what I want to say, so I'll just leave this here.

 

[My_name_is_Luka]

He's married and he was giving her quite a hug, in public. He's not an innocent victim. His wife and family and company are the victims.

First of all my point was about all the harassing and jokes that I received when I warned people that defamation and cyber-bullying can lead to devastating consequences. And someone that is in this community should know well what it means, and it's not something an adult should joke about.

I find it disturbing that you approve the public execution of a person, when this community might have people that have gone through similar situations.
He surely was maintaining his family well with his high profile job.
Whether he cheated or not, whether he was dissatisfied with his private life, it's sad that you validate that other people judge and harass him, not knowing anything about him and his family and exposing his personal details in a way that is at the limit of the civil code.
This is something that he and his family alone has to sort out, without being brought under an international justice court of idiots and perverted nosey parkers.

Everyone has his own personal needs and when they don't meet the expectations of a partner, then people take different roads. There are couples that stick together even if they search intimacy elsewhere. There are others that find out that they need to break up.
But wanting to destroy the professional reputation of a person become of that is typical of a psycho and a monster,

You sound like someone that would take satisfaction from seeing your own father shred to pieces by the society for something so stupid. Personally, when my family suspected of my father, we faced the discussion with him and we didn't push the thing further when he dismissed the suspicions.

I don't know how young you are, but you surely sounds so. Perhaps you should do some readings on the statistics of how many family members cheat on their partner, both men and women. It will be an eye opener and make you understand that this shit-storm was purely an act of envy, jealousy and dissatisfaction.

Probably a lot of people are just having fun without thinking too much about if they are hurting anybody.

If people where empathetic this wouldn't have happened in the first place, of course. Yes, he is not innocent, he is guilty, his family is likely devastated, that doesn't mean we need to cyberbully somebody, dox and make tons of memes about it, I find it tasteless. It feels like some people use it as an excuse to act hatefully without any repercussions, with a moral high-ground or superiority. Acting like it's okay to bully somebody because they cheated on somebody is disappointing.

It's difficult to express what I want to say, so I'll just leave this here.

Thanks for your opinion. I have your same point of view.
For this whole thing to explode, it's clear that enough people started the fire on purpose by taking satisfaction in distributing the video, and searching for all his personal details and the ones of his family. This is truly disgusting, especially in a professional network that should separate harassment and bullying from work.
There are so many bigger problems in these years, from wars, famine, genocides, terrorism, economic uncertainty; and society is so stupid that stops for something so trivial that happens in a large percentage of families.

I'm quite sure that the majority of people would not like that their family was brought to the international attention and dissected by strangers before they could even gather their thoughts; but they would rather prefer that someone approached them privately to talk about it.

Personally I would never push a person to mental breakdown for something so silly. Not even the worse criminals are treated this bad.
I could ask to foreigners the name of the boy that seized his girlfriend in Italy one year ago and stabbed her 75 times to death, and I'm sure that no one would know.

 

[cemeteryismyhome]

Cheating in public, physically: Gets a pass from Luka.
Calling it out online: Receives judgement from Luka.

 

[My_name_is_Luka]

He's married and he was giving her quite a hug, in public. He's not an innocent victim. His wife and family and company are the victims.

Dude, you're an ass.
I'm talking about how I raised awareness on cyber-bullying and defamation on social networks being a cause of suicide; and you laugh about it?
ARE YOU FU..IN SERIOUS? what are you doing here?

Cheating in public, physically: Gets a pass from Luka.
Calling it out online: Receives judgement from Luka.

You're a child. You aren't even able to compare the 2 things, give me a break.
I haven't exposed your identity and I'm not even interested in doing that.

 

[amerie]

Honestly idgaf they deserved it lol, cheating is literally abuse, marriage is a commitment to your spouse and you broke their trust costing them thousands in divorce and damaging the mental state of your family. They did it to themselves as well, if they acted normal about it then they could've gotten away with it.

Also they're wealthy as hell, they can cry in their hot tub.

He's married and he was giving her quite a hug, in public. He's not an innocent victim. His wife and family and company are the victims.

This post makes me believe that OP is cheating on their partner and that video gave them secondhand empathy, why would you feel bad for a dumb millionaire who couldn't even cheat on his wife correctly

 

[My_name_is_Luka]

Honestly idgaf they deserved it lol, cheating is literally abuse, marriage is a commitment to your spouse and you broke their trust costing them thousands in divorce and damaging the mental state of your family. They did it to themselves as well, if they acted normal about it then they could've gotten away with it.

Also they're wealthy as hell, they can cry in their hot tub.

well well, I see that lot of people here wouldn't mind if someone disapproved their attitude and exposed them in the whole internet.

Weren't we complaining when the well-known "against-choice" group was invading this forum and was taking screenshots of conversations to expose users on twitter? Why complaining about it if you're fine with the fact that disagreement entitles others to defame someone else? Doesn't it sound like incoherence?

 

[amerie]

well well, I see that lot of people here wouldn't mind if someone disapproved their attitude and exposed them in the whole internet.

Weren't we complaining when the well-known "against-choice" group was invading this forum and was taking screenshots of conversations to expose users on twitter? Why complaining about it if you're fine with the fact that disagreement entitles others to defame someone else? Doesn't it sound like incoherence?

Dude, I say this lovingly, that example is not in anyway comparable to the thing you're talking about at all. And I am actually confused as to why you care so deeply about millionaires who literally abuse their employees on the daily and wouldn't even give a singular dollar to charity or to help better this country other than for their own benefit.

Most people are against cyber bullying for keyword: innocent people who just want to live life and are also marginalized. Obviously it's fucked up to harass people into oblivion for no reason especially since the reasons are due to their style or eccentric personality along with their religion or ethnicity. It's also even worse because most of those people don't have access to proper mental health treatment and have to deal with the backlash alone.

That millionaire dug his own hole, no one would've cared if he just stood and smiled at the camera, he's an average American white guy living a relatively conventional life, what is there to bully about him??

Also, he can get a therapist and work on himself with healthy coping mechanisms and can even change his identity because he's well connected and has resources. The average person would turn to self harm or go on this website.

And although morality is subjective I'm pretty sure most cultures and people can agree that cheating or being an asshole is bound to face you consequences.

The only reason why you should feel bad is because you've likely done something of a similar capacity. Don't cheat on your partner

 

[My_name_is_Luka]

Dude, I say this lovingly, that example is not in anyway comparable to the thing you're talking about at all. And I am actually confused as to why you care so deeply about millionaires who literally abuse their employees on the daily and wouldn't even give a singular dollar to charity or to help better this country other than for their own benefit.

Most people are against cyber bullying for keyword: innocent people who just want to live life and are also marginalized. Obviously it's fucked up to harass people into oblivion for no reason especially since the reasons are due to their style or eccentric personality along with their religion or ethnicity. It's also even worse because most of those people don't have access to proper mental health treatment and have to deal with the backlash alone.

That millionaire dug his own hole, no one would've cared if he just stood and smiled at the camera, he's an average American white guy living a relatively conventional life, what is there to bully about him??

Also, he can get a therapist and work on himself with healthy coping mechanisms and can even change his identity because he's well connected and has resources. The average person would turn to self harm or go on this website.

And although morality is subjective I'm pretty sure most cultures and people can agree that cheating or being an asshole is bound to face you consequences.

The only reason why you should feel bad is because you've likely done something of a similar capacity. Don't cheat on your partner

you are mixing things up. The social status of a person has nothing to do with the fact that they can be victims of defamation or not; what you are saying is just lack of compassion and understanding for people that have a different social status than you; and the same reason has driven people mad about something so stupid as what he did. There has been cases of millionaires taking their lives; it doesn't spare anyone.

As I wrote above, it's appalling that so many people joined forced against him in a public shit-storm, when statistics reveal that 20% of men and 13% of women have cheated once in their lifetime. Going by the statistics, there should be billions of posts about the millions of people that cheated. And what makes you think that all those millions of couples broke up and their careers got destroyed, and they didn't manage to fix the situation on their own?

I gave you another example. There are plenty of people that would disagree about us being "pro-choice". There's nothing wrong about disagreeing with it; what you think is normal, for other is awful and criminal. You think that you are helping people that suffer awfully either mentally or physically; others think that you are robbing them of the chance of finding another solution. And both position can be seen as bad as cheating, if not worse, because they deal with life/death and continuous-suffering/liberation. The fact that one person finds despicable what another person does, does not entitle them to defame the other and try to destroy them.

He cheated, and then? Life goes on.
Pro-life folks force people to endure suffering health conditions until natural death; that's torture.
And in their eyes Pro-choice folks persuade weak-minded individuals to choose death over life (most of the times not true).
This sounds a bit more controversial than cheating.

Since you take me under your judging lenses: I've had only a brief relationship of 1 year in 44 years of life. I never cheated on anyone. I've been sexually abused twice, which has made me take distance from further engagements and drift toward the suicidal spectrum. But apparently nothing as this is as trendy and exciting as destroying a high-profile figure.
I probably am very familiar with the situation of getting destroyed badly both in physical and mental health, and struggling to give myself another chance to live. And I don't wish this to anyone that didn't do something as bad as what was done to me. I've got desensitized to such minor transition dynamics that can always be solved.

 

[amerie]

you are mixing things up. The social status of a person has nothing to do with the fact that they can be victims of defamation or not; what you are saying is just lack of compassion and understanding for people that have a different social status than you; and the same reason has driven people mad about something so stupid as what he did. There has been cases of millionaires taking their lives; it doesn't spare anyone.

As I wrote above, it's appalling that so many people joined forced against him in a public shit-storm, when statistics reveal that 20% of men and 13% of women have cheated once in their lifetime. Going by the statistics, there should be billions of posts about the millions of people that cheated. And what makes you think that all those millions of couples broke up and their careers got destroyed, and they didn't manage to fix the situation on their own?

I gave you another example. There are plenty of people that would disagree about us being "pro-choice". There's nothing wrong about disagreeing with it; what you think is normal, for other is awful and criminal. You think that you are helping people that suffer awfully either mentally or physically; others think that you are robbing them of the chance of finding another solution. And both position can be seen as bad as cheating, if not worse, because they deal with life/death and continuous-suffering/liberation. The fact that one person finds despicable what another person does, does not entitle them to defame the other and try to destroy them.

He cheated, and then? Life goes on.
Pro-life folks force people to endure suffering health conditions until natural death; that's torture.
And in their eyes Pro-choice folks persuade weak-minded individuals to choose death over life (most of the times not true).
This sounds a bit more controversial than cheating.

Since you take me under your judging lenses: I've had only a brief relationship of 1 year in 44 years of life. I never cheated on anyone. I've been sexually abused twice, which has made me take distance from further engagements and drift toward the suicidal spectrum. But apparently nothing as this is as trendy and exciting as destroying a high-profile figure.
I probably am very familiar with the situation of getting destroyed badly both in physical and mental health, and struggling to give myself another chance to live. And I don't wish this to anyone that didn't do something as bad as what was done to me. I've got desensitized to such minor transition dynamics that can always be solved.

Ugh, this is my last response. That millionaire is going to be fine. He has the money to support whatever he does next with his life and could probably even retire right now if he really wanted to or find a way to escape by faking his death and moving to another country (ex; Russell Simmons, child predators fleeing to Israel.)

Also, your actions have consequences and you need to take accountability for whatever happens next. You can't just do whatever you want and hurt others and expect people to not react a certain way, life doesn't work like that. He knew what he was doing.

Most of us on this site come from broken homes and have abusive parents or come from abusive relationships where we have trauma from cheating and can't trust people, especially men, because they treat their spouses like this. What would've happened if he gave his wife an STD or got this woman pregnant because of his carelessness? We should just bake his ass cookies and give him a hug? I don't know why you want people here to feel bad for him so badly because it's not going to happen lol, go on Reddit or something.

 

[Wolf Girl]

Dude, you're making it so obvious that you're a cheater too or wish to be. Just because something is common doesn't automatically make it acceptable. That logic is so bizarre. I mean, 1 in 3 girls and 1 in 6 boys get molested, so does that make child abuse no big deal? Cheating on your partner is emotional abuse. If you don't feel fulfilled in a relationship you should break up, not cheat.

 

[Dejected 55]

Also, not for nothing... but BOTH people in that video were cheating. Both of them were married to other people... but the man is getting raked over the goals for cheating, while there is not nearly as much being said about the woman, who was also cheating on her spouse. Mind you, I'm still not in favor of the doxxing... but it's hard to feel sorry for two people who put their respective families at risk by cheating and then further so by going to a very public event with video cameras present and proudly displaying their affair until they realized they had been caught.

Do people care more about this sort of thing than they probably ought to? Sure... But take war... why do you think it is okay to "harass" a world leader in another country who is at war with your country? I mean, he's just doing his job and it should be people in his country who care, not you... right? I mean, applying the same logic... ANY news story about anyone doing anything should be irrelevant and ignored by you because it isn't you... right?

I'm drawing the same line in the sand. You say it is all "cyber-bullying" and I say equating all of these things as cyber-bullying does a disservice to people who are actually being cyber-bullied.

And I'm not saying it is "ok" to harass rich people. I already said doxxing is wrong period. But sharing a video of a dude and dudette caught cheating in public... that's fair to me. Don't cheat in public. This isn't someone sharing a private video or video obtained illegally... they literally posed for the video by agreeing when they bought the tickets to the concert to be on camera like that potentially. Those cameras aren't a secret in venues like that, anyone going to that concert has to agree to be on that video... and if the video catches them picking their nose or cheating on their spouse, it's all fair game.

No doxxing... but everything else... I don't have a problem even though I've stayed out of all of it except in this thread.

 

[amerie]

Dude, you're making it so obvious that you're a cheater too or wish to be. Just because something is common doesn't automatically make it acceptable. That logic is so bizarre. I mean, 1 in 3 girls and 1 in 6 boys get molested, so does that make child abuse no big deal? Cheating on your partner is emotional abuse. If you don't feel fulfilled in a relationship you should break up, not cheat.

You can't do very preventable things and expect not to get harassed for it, I don't know why people don't understand this

I personally don't care that deeply to doxx them but I mean…why did he do that lol

Also, not for nothing... but BOTH people in that video were cheating. Both of them were married to other people... but the man is getting raked over the goals for cheating, while there is not nearly as much being said about the woman, who was also cheating on her spouse. Mind you, I'm still not in favor of the doxxing... but it's hard to feel sorry for two people who put their respective families at risk by cheating and then further so by going to a very public event with video cameras present and proudly displaying their affair until they realized they had been caught.

Do people care more about this sort of thing than they probably ought to? Sure... But take war... why do you think it is okay to "harass" a world leader in another country who is at war with your country? I mean, he's just doing his job and it should be people in his country who care, not you... right? I mean, applying the same logic... ANY news story about anyone doing anything should be irrelevant and ignored by you because it isn't you... right?

I'm drawing the same line in the sand. You say it is all "cyber-bullying" and I say equating all of these things as cyber-bullying does a disservice to people who are actually being cyber-bullied.

And I'm not saying it is "ok" to harass rich people. I already said doxxing is wrong period. But sharing a video of a dude and dudette caught cheating in public... that's fair to me. Don't cheat in public. This isn't someone sharing a private video or video obtained illegally... they literally posed for the video by agreeing when they bought the tickets to the concert to be on camera like that potentially. Those cameras aren't a secret in venues like that, anyone going to that concert has to agree to be on that video... and if the video catches them picking their nose or cheating on their spouse, it's all fair game.

No doxxing... but everything else... I don't have a problem even though I've stayed out of all of it except in this thread.

I don't even think he was doxxed, people just found information that was publically available like his company and stuff he posted on his social medias like his wife and kids. Doxxing is leaking peoples address and phone number or things that they didn't keep public.

 

[Dejected 55]

You can't do very preventable things and expect not to get harassed for it, I don't know why people don't understand this

I personally don't care that deeply to doxx them but I mean…why did he do that lol

I don't even think he was doxxed, people just found information that was publically available like his company and stuff he posted on his social medias like his wife and kids. Doxxing is leaking peoples address and phone number or things that they didn't keep public.

That's possible. I haven't really been following the story that closely, because it's a hot button for me to see anyone cheating in their relationship when I'm over here always alone and never would cheat on someone... but the cheaters get multiple chances, multiple relationships, and then randomly this dude (or dudette?) defending the cheaters!

But yeah, maybe people who saw the original posts and recognized the people in the video and pointed at their online public profiles... It still feels a little dirty to me for people to be posting publicly even if those people shared their info previously.. I mean, maybe you posted your address at one time somewhere in public and then one day I'm mad at you for something, can I post your address again because you already posted it yourself? It is kind of like the "consent debate" where men will argue they have a right to force sex on a woman because that woman has had sex with them before... or people claim sex workers can never say no to anyone because they do it for a living.

I'm not saying that's what you're saying... I'm just saying there are people out there looking for loopholes to expose people. I'm just super against the doxxing. It's a pretty easy line for me to draw in the sand. Even if I could find that kind of info about someone, I wouldn't post private contact info about someone. What's the endgame for that? Typically people dox someone because they want people to go find them and harass them... and that's another easy line for me to draw.

I don't feel sorry at all if dude and dudette have repercussions for their cheating... I do feel for their respective families.

 

[thinkkank]

what I took from all of this is if you are having an affair stick to motels and the back seat of your car. Don't get fancy and take them to concerts.