Day 29/31 - How easy N once was to get, makes me jealous.

[Ammonite5]

As with most things in life I seem to be to late. N, Nembutal, pentobarbital, this is how I want to die. But it seems the days of this being the easy way to go are long gone. I wonder if the people who were around back then knew just how good they had it, or maybe they thought they had it just as hard as we do now. Or maybe they optimists back then though N would be as easy as getting aspirin on amazon is now. Honestly I doubt they were thinking much about the future if they were on the same N hunt I am now. Ill read the full PPH tonight and see If I can learn anymore, maybe Ill get lucky and find something. The posts on here make it seem like even SN is just as hard to find with DMC gone. Fuck even just 3 months ago this would have been easier. Inert gas may be my backup, If I can find a tank. I don't understand why this has to be so fucking hard I just want to die peacefully. I cant wrap my head around why it should be this hard. Why cant an adult woman make her own choices in life, and how to end it. I know asking these questions wont change anything, this is just the world we live in. Ill figure it out, I have to, I have no other options. Nothing to live for, no will for it anymore. I wont work some shit dead end job, wither, and die with out ever being able to a choice about my life. I will make 1 choice, just the one, the last one Ill ever have to. 29 more days, that's enough time, it has to be.

 

[Cauliflour]

Well, SN is a deadly chemical and all deadly chemicals are banned because you can murder someone with it. I suppose a system could be set up so people who are buying it with suicidal intent don't get flagged as potential murderers but loopholes will be found in half the time it would take to set that up. Not to mention governments profit off people being alive and need people to do work so society can function so they wouldn't even bother making a system in the first place as it's self sabotaging. It sucks for the suicidal people but if it was really easy to buy like you could pick it up from an Amazon search, then there would be cases all over the news of people smuggling that into strangers' drinks and such. Besides, I think if suicide was too easy then the people who genuinely could get better with the right help (ie the kind of people who aren't desperate enough to go digging onto the deep web to find websites like these) would have that chance taken away from them.

 

[Ammonite5]

Well, SN is a deadly chemical and all deadly chemicals are banned because you can murder someone with it. I suppose a system could be set up so people who are buying it with suicidal intent don't get flagged as potential murderers but loopholes will be found in half the time it would take to set that up. Not to mention governments profit off people being alive and need people to do work so society can function so they wouldn't even bother making a system in the first place as it's self sabotaging. It sucks for the suicidal people but if it was really easy to buy like you could pick it up from an Amazon search, then there would be cases all over the news of people smuggling that into strangers' drinks and such. Besides, I think if suicide was too easy then the people who genuinely could get better with the right help (ie the kind of people who aren't desperate enough to go digging onto the deep web to find websites like these) would have that chance taken away from them.

But SN is so salty I don't think anyone would not notice it in a drink? Same with N I would think but I don't know what an N drink would taste like. Plus like with that argument why don't we ban guns?
I very much do think you are right on the money about the governments banning suicide because it effects profitability. Like all humans are just a resource to be exploited.

 

[ankawannadie]

Yeah, if suicidal was too easy then there would be a lot of unnecessary deaths from impulsive decisions. It just sucks that they're making it harder and harder so now it's more like "too hard" than "too easy."
What happens when SN becomes literally unobtainable in the US too. I'm scared of that possibility.

 

[Ammonite5]

Yeah, if suicidal was too easy then there would be a lot of unnecessary deaths from impulsive decisions. It just sucks that they're making it harder and harder so now it's more like "too hard" than "too easy."
What happens when SN becomes literally unobtainable in the US too. I'm scared of that possibility.

Ya I get there has to be some kind of line, just where should that be? And I mean some things like jumping or rope are always going to be around, its just the painless ways they are making harder and harder to fine.

 

[Cauliflour]

Plus like with that argument why don't we ban guns?

I assume you're American 'cause over the Atlantic, we've already banned guns. In Britain one would need to give a good explanation to the gun license people on why they need one in the first place and there's all these rules and stuff like I think the guns are named so only like farmers, soldiers and people who shoot guns as a sport own guns.

Ya I get there has to be some kind of line, just where should that be? And I mean some things like jumping or rope are always going to be around, its just the painless ways they are making harder and harder to fine.

I saw a post on this website not to long ago about what SN actually does to you and it's not like carbon monoxide where you just fall asleep and never wake up. According to that original poster, you puke for like hours and it doesn't sound pleasant at all. I can't find the original post as it was under one of mine and for some reason that entire thread is deleted but I don't see why someone on here would lie about the affects of SN...

 

[FuneralCry]

I understand as all I want is to cease existing peacefully, I just want to never suffer ever again, I always wish for Nembutal and I suffer so much from how I cannot just access it, I hope you find peace, I wish you the best.

 

[Ammonite5]

I assume you're American 'cause over the Atlantic, we've already banned guns. In Britain one would need to give a good explanation to the gun license people on why they need one in the first place and there's all these rules and stuff like I think the guns are named so only like farmers, soldiers and people who shoot guns as a sport own guns.

I saw a post on this website not to long ago about what SN actually does to you and it's not like carbon monoxide where you just fall asleep and never wake up. According to that original poster, you puke for like hours and it doesn't sound pleasant at all. I can't find the original post as it was under one of mine and for some reason that entire thread is deleted but I don't see why someone on here would lie about the affects of SN...

True on the US bit! I forget that that's not the norm a lot of places.
Do you know if they made and followed a full protocol or just rawdoged some SN? Ive also read a lot, and there are a lot of recorded cases of people following a good prorocol (Anti vomiting meds, having Benzos, etc) passing peacefully. Just depends on the person and what else they do to support the SN I think.

 

[unluckysadness]

We came too late for N. I'm jealous of the people who got it as sleeping pills but this time is over since decades... I've read that N was even given to babies in the 50's !... For sure they sleeped well !... (and parents too...)

 

[Dusk till dawn]

there would be cases all over the news of people smuggling that into strangers' drinks and such.

Do you think this is not possible with what is OTC at the right concentrations and purity without additives and fillers? How easy is it to find something that's water soluble, has no taste, has a good lifespan and doesn't have to be more than 1 gram, and is actually OTC? Even anti-pesticides that you can buy with cash without giving your ID meet this criteria dude, you can't regulate everything with the potential to kill just because they meet the criteria of "peaceful pill" under the guise of protecting people

 

[brokenspirited]

That method is my dream. N alongside with cyanide is truly the gold standard for CTB. It's so peaceful and quick-acting, relief coming immediately.

I envy all that have obtained N. It's so cruel that we can't end our existence peacefully.

 

[shady868]

Why is N so hard to get anyway? You would think some vet or something would make a lot trying to sell it.