Dealing with rumination/negative thought loops

[playalistic]

I feel like I constantly have a need to be distracted & mentally occupied by something because my mind is constantly pre-occupied by thinking about past experiences. I feel like I'm in agony all the time at the hand of constantly replaying past experiences in my mind on loop and going through the "what-ifs". For me specifically my negative past experiences didn't really end in any closure and were very abrupt so I was kind of blindsided and I feel like the "unknown" or mystery of it all is really really difficult for me. I am trying to accept that I might not ever get closure but I just want to move on and heal already. This whole year 2025 has felt like a blur and I feel like my perception of time has almost been warped a little bit. It's felt like 3-4 months since the year started rather than 9

Does anyone else deal with this/have any tips to break the cycle?

 

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[unluckysadness]

I feel the same. Overthinking is killing me. Too much traumas.
I wish you peace of mind

 

[TBONTB]

Here are some rumination busting tips. Don't know if they help at all but for what it's worth

1. Naming what's happening.


What you're describing is often called rumination. It's when the mind keeps circling back to past events in a way that feels compulsive, rather than reflective or useful. Naming it as "rumination" can help you get a little distance from it—almost like, "Oh, that's rumination showing up again," instead of, "This is me, stuck forever."





2. Breaking the loop gently.

• Sometimes, trying to "force" the thoughts away makes them louder. Instead, you might experiment with giving your mind something grounding: noticing your breath, your feet on the floor, or describing five things you can see/hear/touch right now.
• Writing down the recurring thought can also help. It tells your brain, "I've saved this; I don't need to replay it right now.

3. Shifting from "what-if" to "what-now."


When the what-ifs show up, you can ask yourself: "What's one thing I can do right now that's good for me in this moment?" Even very small actions—getting a glass of water, stretching, stepping outside for air—can anchor you back in the present.

 

[westerly_merlin]

Welcome to the overthinking club.

I don't have a great answer but there are lots of us out there.

I am a perfect example of someone that will send a WhatsApp message to a friend about something that is bothering me when I go to bed only to wake at 3am and go in and delete it and re-write it, normally toning it down so it does not cause upset. Then waking at 4am and deleting it yada yada…

Come morning I get a message from friend asking why I sent and deleted 30 messages through the night and am I ok? To which I reply "fine thx"

Then there are the all-night mind sessions where you are worried that what you said at work 15 years and 3 jobs ago was appropriate or has really upset someone.

I have started journalling some of my worries, it gets it out my system and lets me go to sleep. (I bought a really good quality notebook with 100g/m2 paper and writing on it with a nice pen is realty sensual). When I read back over my worry/recrimination in the light of day it never looks like the drama it was the night before.

 

[Kali_Yuga13]

I know how rumination and overthinking due to ptsd can destroy your life. I'd also like to have an answer as you would...
Personally I find impossible to let my past go, cause I loved what I was and had before and now I'm just nothing. I don't recognize myself anymore.
The only way to overcome it would be by loosing my memory, but doing that I'd even feel worse. Because that means loosing what u loved when you still were able to love.

I feel ya on this. I pretty much feel like I'm living anti-version of what my life should or could have been. That which I once loved or enjoyed has become a taunt to my present reality. I long for a primordial pre-beginning as the ultimate clean slate. To not merely forget my regrets but to erase them from having ever been.

 

[lainduster]

I feel like I constantly have a need to be distracted & mentally occupied by something because my mind is constantly pre-occupied by thinking about past experiences. I feel like I'm in agony all the time at the hand of constantly replaying past experiences in my mind on loop and going through the "what-ifs". For me specifically my negative past experiences didn't really end in any closure and were very abrupt so I was kind of blindsided and I feel like the "unknown" or mystery of it all is really really difficult for me. I am trying to accept that I might not ever get closure but I just want to move on and heal already. This whole year 2025 has felt like a blur and I feel like my perception of time has almost been warped a little bit. It's felt like 3-4 months since the year started rather than 9

Does anyone else deal with this/have any tips to break the cycle?

Honestly it's completely random with me and quite rare, i'm not sure what causes it but in moments like that I feel completely miserable but also at the same time like I've just woken up from a coma. No tips on how to make that happen more other than maybe purposefully ignoring all distractions and forcing yourself no matter how much it sucks to experience it. I know it's a lot easier said than done but I think it could work for you. Another thing, I'm not sure if this is exactly your cup of tea but when i become "aware" i kind of go all out, balls to the wall and ignore the instinct to turn away from the hurtful memories and what i find helps me in the moment is writing absolutely everything down. I've had moments where I've written for almost 12 hours and it gives me sort of a temporary relief. I burn everything I've written after out of embarrassment but that's just a personal preference, you could try keeping it and maybe you could find a way to track your progress through writing.
I hope this could be useful to you but whatever the case i hope you feel better soon.

 

[popping_candy]

I find talking on the phone or discord helps because you think about the conversation you're having instead. If you're not afraid of talking to strangers it's very effective for cutting off a bad thought loop and you might be able to redirect to something else after the call ends.

 

[Cansado_Depressivo]

Welcome to the overthinking club.

Overthinking is a truly terrible thing. I'm the same way, and it causes me a lot of angst and suffering.

Then there are the all-night mind sessions where you are worried that what you said at work 15 years and 3 jobs ago was appropriate or has really upset someone.

I often catch myself remembering things I did or said when I was a child or teenager, and now, at 33 years old, I'm overcome with feelings of shame, sadness, regret, and guilt. It's terrible

I have started journalling some of my worries, it gets it out my system and lets me go to sleep. (I bought a really good quality notebook with 100g/m2 paper and writing on it with a nice pen is realty sensual). When I read back over my worry/recrimination in the light of day it never looks like the drama it was the night before.

I've never tried writing down my worries. I'm afraid of leaving any written record in my house and having it found by my wife, for example. I also can't bring myself to speak my thoughts out loud. They just keep ruminating as an inner voice in my head that never stops talking. It's truly exhausting

 

[westerly_merlin]

I'm afraid of leaving any written record in my house and having it found by my wife, for example.

I have the same worry, luckily my handwriting is almost indecipherable.

How about typing them into an encrypted or password protected document?

 

[Cansado_Depressivo]

I have the same worry, luckily my handwriting is almost indecipherable.

How about typing them into an encrypted or password protected document?

That's a good idea. I'll try it. Thanks for sharing