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dazed.daydreamer

dazed.daydreamer

Member
Jun 26, 2024
62
I need to CTB, but I'm not dead set on my method. I've always thought full suspension hanging would be my method, but now I'm less sure considering where I'd have to do it (i.e. my dorm or in a forest, where peers or strangers respectively could find me). Here are the methods I'm thinking, in relative order from most to least preferred. Please let me know which of these would/would not be effective (apart from FSH, I know that would work).

0. FSH in a hotel would be my ideal, but I doubt there will be a sufficient anchor point. I'd just have to check the closet bar once I'm there; if that's an option, I'd definitely go for it
1. Shallow water blackout/drowning in the bath tub of a hotel room, while intoxicated. Also tie noose around bath faucet to restrain neck and to hopefully partially hang myself while also drowning, to increase lethality.
2. Partial hanging in a hotel room, while intoxicated
3. Shallow water blackout/drowning at a nearby river, while intoxicated. Maybe also with a weighted backpack.
4. FSH in nearby woods
5. FSH in my dorm room, do what I can to ensure police find me

Note: by intoxicated, I'm thinking a combination of alcohol to relax and visine (with tetrahydrozoline; maybe 5 or so bottles) in order to pass out, either for drowning or partial hanging (i.e. passing out into the noose)

My reasoning behind the rankings:
1 seems ideal because it wouldn't leave as bad of a scene, and I have more control over who finds me (barricading the door and leaving a note, explaining why I'm certainly already dead and to please call the police to retrieve me). I'm worried about how reliable of a method this is, but my hope is that adding the partial hanging element would make it a pretty lethal approach.
2 seems pretty good, I think it would work, it just leaves more of an upsetting scene than 1 would, I think
3 is less ideal than 2 because of the element of doing it in public, and it making it harder to retrieve my body. I could do it late at night to reduce the chances of getting caught. The idea of dying alone in the middle of a river is also kinda daunting.
4 is not ideal because I don't want a random stranger to find me. What if it's a family with young children, or someone else vulnerable who could be traumatized? The idea of setting something up like that in public, even deep in the woods where no one should find me for a while, makes me really anxious.
5 is the least preferred because while it'd be effective and convenient, I'm worried about how it'd impact the people who live near me, and if it may cause trouble for my school.

Any thoughts about the reliability of these methods and my reasoning behind them? Anything would be greatly appreciated, as I plan to do one of these in the next couple of days.
 
dazed.daydreamer

dazed.daydreamer

Member
Jun 26, 2024
62
I may need to postpone for the short-term because I've been having leg pain that now, as of today, is making it very difficult for me to walk. I think it's sciatica, which thankfully should go away on its own with rest without medical intervention, unless it becomes too severe. Apparently you can develop it from being too inactive, which I think is the case, as it started while being stuck in bed with my depression. If it does clear up enough to walk by Sunday, I'll still go for it; else, hopefully next weekend.
 

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