Disabled in the USA- not an ideal situation.

[juxtaposse]

I apologize, my explanation of my situation is a tad rant-y.

I'm a disabled twenty something woman in the USA. I am always in pain and greatly limited in ability (I have to use a wheelchair most days). I have been depressed for my entire life from what I recall. Every year just gets worse. I am also a domestic violence survivor (unfortunately he didn't end me, only severely injured and gave me PTSD.)

It sucks that I am in the USA. If I were in Canada I've heard it is easier to get medical assistance in moving on from this life as a disabled person, is that true? Would it be worth trying to move to Canada for that purpose, despite the process taking years?

Everyone in the USA thinks death (purposeful or otherwise) is a horrible thing. They would rather force me to continue to suffer in pain with no pain medications offered that work and no government assistance to live off of than allow me to ctb in a humane manner.

I'm trying my best to live, I do love some aspects of my life. But I'm really so angry that they don't treat disabled people better in this country, and that they don't allow us to get the things we need, or at the very least, exit our lives in a humane manner.

I think if I do decide to go, I need to save up money as best I can and do a nitrogen exit bag.

On another note, I'm angry that everyone uses the excuse of becoming disabled as why they are afraid to attempt. I know it is valid for them to fear it but it is a slap in the face to people like me who are already disabled. It makes it sound like our lives aren't even worth living and we should all ctb. I know that sounds really hypocritical seeing as I might be trying to ctb eventually, but genuinely there are disabled people who live their lives and are happy, and I have moments of that too. It hurts that people think my life is a date worse than death. It really makes me not even want to try to keep going.

I love someone. I want to have a life together with them. But I feel like it isn't even worthwhile. I don't even have money for food currently, and no one will hire me. How can I ever give them the life they deserve if I can't provide for them?

I wish the USA did a better job of it, the only way you'd get help in catching the bus would be by having a terminal illness that would kill you in six months or less. Otherwise, you're free to starve and be homeless and not get the meds you need for your disabilities and try to figure out how to ctb all on your own with extremely limited funds and even more limited abilities.

I know no one can tell me what I should do in regards to my life. I am primarily curious about how accessible MAID is in Canada, and also if it would even be possible for me to move there seeing as I am disabled. Australia completely prohibits the disabled from moving there so I can't go there. Dunno about the UK.

I guess I keep going day by day until I either die of starvation, die of an injury from not being able to afford meds, or finally ctb. Or maybe things will magically turn around, though I highly doubt it.

 

[needthebus]

I apologize, my explanation of my situation is a tad rant-y.

I'm a disabled twenty something woman in the USA. I am always in pain and greatly limited in ability (I have to use a wheelchair most days). I have been depressed for my entire life from what I recall. Every year just gets worse. I am also a domestic violence survivor (unfortunately he didn't end me, only severely injured and gave me PTSD.)

It sucks that I am in the USA. If I were in Canada I've heard it is easier to get medical assistance in moving on from this life as a disabled person, is that true? Would it be worth trying to move to Canada for that purpose, despite the process taking years?

Everyone in the USA thinks death (purposeful or otherwise) is a horrible thing. They would rather force me to continue to suffer in pain with no pain medications offered that work and no government assistance to live off of than allow me to ctb in a humane manner.

I'm trying my best to live, I do love some aspects of my life. But I'm really so angry that they don't treat disabled people better in this country, and that they don't allow us to get the things we need, or at the very least, exit our lives in a humane manner.

I think if I do decide to go, I need to save up money as best I can and do a nitrogen exit bag.

On another note, I'm angry that everyone uses the excuse of becoming disabled as why they are afraid to attempt. I know it is valid for them to fear it but it is a slap in the face to people like me who are already disabled. It makes it sound like our lives aren't even worth living and we should all ctb. I know that sounds really hypocritical seeing as I might be trying to ctb eventually, but genuinely there are disabled people who live their lives and are happy, and I have moments of that too. It hurts that people think my life is a date worse than death. It really makes me not even want to try to keep going.

I love someone. I want to have a life together with them. But I feel like it isn't even worthwhile. I don't even have money for food currently, and no one will hire me. How can I ever give them the life they deserve if I can't provide for them?

I wish the USA did a better job of it, the only way you'd get help in catching the bus would be by having a terminal illness that would kill you in six months or less. Otherwise, you're free to starve and be homeless and not get the meds you need for your disabilities and try to figure out how to ctb all on your own with extremely limited funds and even more limited abilities.

I know no one can tell me what I should do in regards to my life. I am primarily curious about how accessible MAID is in Canada, and also if it would even be possible for me to move there seeing as I am disabled. Australia completely prohibits the disabled from moving there so I can't go there. Dunno about the UK.

I guess I keep going day by day until I either die of starvation, die of an injury from not being able to afford meds, or finally ctb. Or maybe things will magically turn around, though I highly doubt it.

I'm so sorry you are in pain and disagree with you.

When people talk about fear of being disabled, a lot of that is actually fear of being not only disabled, but also so disabled that's not possible to ctb. Some people try to ctb and end up failing and, as a result, become so disabled they require 24/7 care and can't ctb at all, under any circumstance and it's absolute hell. It's not only a valid fear, but it also isn't implying that having just any sort of disability is bad. For instance, there are people who try to ctb and shoot themselves, survive, and end up being unable to fully talk or move due to brain damage and require attendants to do things like eat, go to the bathroom, or take medication.

People don't always say "I'm afraid of being so disabled I can't attempt again" but that's almost always what they mean.

 

[BrokenMindAndBody]

I apologize, my explanation of my situation is a tad rant-y.

I'm a disabled twenty something woman in the USA. I am always in pain and greatly limited in ability (I have to use a wheelchair most days). I have been depressed for my entire life from what I recall. Every year just gets worse. I am also a domestic violence survivor (unfortunately he didn't end me, only severely injured and gave me PTSD.)

It sucks that I am in the USA. If I were in Canada I've heard it is easier to get medical assistance in moving on from this life as a disabled person, is that true? Would it be worth trying to move to Canada for that purpose, despite the process taking years?

Everyone in the USA thinks death (purposeful or otherwise) is a horrible thing. They would rather force me to continue to suffer in pain with no pain medications offered that work and no government assistance to live off of than allow me to ctb in a humane manner.

I'm trying my best to live, I do love some aspects of my life. But I'm really so angry that they don't treat disabled people better in this country, and that they don't allow us to get the things we need, or at the very least, exit our lives in a humane manner.

I think if I do decide to go, I need to save up money as best I can and do a nitrogen exit bag.

On another note, I'm angry that everyone uses the excuse of becoming disabled as why they are afraid to attempt. I know it is valid for them to fear it but it is a slap in the face to people like me who are already disabled. It makes it sound like our lives aren't even worth living and we should all ctb. I know that sounds really hypocritical seeing as I might be trying to ctb eventually, but genuinely there are disabled people who live their lives and are happy, and I have moments of that too. It hurts that people think my life is a date worse than death. It really makes me not even want to try to keep going.

I love someone. I want to have a life together with them. But I feel like it isn't even worthwhile. I don't even have money for food currently, and no one will hire me. How can I ever give them the life they deserve if I can't provide for them?

I wish the USA did a better job of it, the only way you'd get help in catching the bus would be by having a terminal illness that would kill you in six months or less. Otherwise, you're free to starve and be homeless and not get the meds you need for your disabilities and try to figure out how to ctb all on your own with extremely limited funds and even more limited abilities.

I know no one can tell me what I should do in regards to my life. I am primarily curious about how accessible MAID is in Canada, and also if it would even be possible for me to move there seeing as I am disabled. Australia completely prohibits the disabled from moving there so I can't go there. Dunno about the UK.

I guess I keep going day by day until I either die of starvation, die of an injury from not being able to afford meds, or finally ctb. Or maybe things will magically turn around, though I highly doubt it.

I'm really sorry. The US is an open air prison I feel like. Your situation is worse than mine. I'm a man and I can still walk right now. I've been through a lot of shit, though. In 2018 I actually got N or pentobarbital and I fucked up. I was found and I got sent to a jail for trying to get out of here. It's actually a long story. But, the system is totally against you trying to die on your own terms. I'm really sorry you are going through this. If you ever wanna talk you can PM me.

 

[squidsponge]

One thing I know is the medical care system in Canada is not good at all and it can take a really long time just to get an appointment for something urgent.

The second is that I'm really sorry that what people say causes these feelings and I empathize.
But I also think about it from a different perspective whereby when people say that, it isn't to directly mean disabled people lives are not worth living. Rather to acknowledge how much these people are struggling already; Adding another perceived hardship to the mix such as a disability, well they just wouldnt have the bandwidth to try and cope.

So if anything, living with a disability shows immense resilience more than majority of us could master. You are worthy.