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I can't beat it

I can't beat it

How can I be detached
Dec 7, 2023
14
or someone else, please give reasons
 
BarnabasCollins

BarnabasCollins

Member
Nov 16, 2023
78
Oh yeh. I was told by my parents from the beginning of my life I wasn't good enough, was a mistake, less than my brother, and was treated that way. It made self-loathing a part of who I am. I was bullied and rape as a child, which made it worse. I've spent years in therapy trying to change it. It hasn't worked.
 
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FuneralCry

FuneralCry

Just wanting some peace
Sep 24, 2020
42,032
No, I just hate existence instead. I see the existence of life as the most horrific tragedy, it repulses me how existence causes so much senseless cruelty and unnecessary suffering. I certainly hate how I was burdened with the ability to exist, it's a curse to be trapped in this harmful and decaying flesh prison that can cause us to suffer to unlimited amounts and lacks an eternal offswitch where we can instantly cease existing in peace.
 
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I can't beat it

I can't beat it

How can I be detached
Dec 7, 2023
14
Oh yeh. I was told by my parents from the beginning of my life I wasn't good enough, was a mistake, less than my brother, and was treated that way. It made self-loathing a part of who I am. I was bullied and rape as a child, which made it worse. I've spent years in therapy trying to change it. It hasn't worked.
Irresponsible parents, I hope life gives you less pain
No, I just hate existence instead. I see the existence of life as the most horrific tragedy, it repulses me how existence causes so much senseless cruelty and unnecessary suffering. I certainly hate how I was burdened with the ability to exist, it's a curse to be trapped in this harmful and decaying flesh prison that can cause us to suffer to unlimited amounts and lacks an eternal offswitch where we can instantly cease existing in peace.
A peaceful ending is the best option
 
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D

Deicius

Member
Dec 1, 2023
29
Honestly, I got this messed up thing going on with me. I dig dissing myself, but I also can't stand loving myself, and vice versa. It's a real mind twister.
 
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ijustwishtodie

ijustwishtodie

I have finally found my ultimate bliss
Oct 29, 2023
5,801
I hate existence as well as my neurotype. Whether I hate myself or not depends on whether you view me hating my neurotype as me hating myself or not
 
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P

Praestat_Mori

Mori praestat, quam haec pati!
May 21, 2023
12,377
I don't hate myself.
 
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C

ctvunny

dead
Jun 18, 2023
115
No, hate is a strong word. I think dislike fits more for me. I dislike myself.
 
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unsaiddes

unsaiddes

Member
Apr 25, 2023
74
I do hate myself. I personally think some people on earth are capable of being wonderful people who live happy lives, and that never has been, never will be me. Honestly, my ideation could boil down to "I don't want to be me." If I could wake up tomorrow as someone else, maybe my urges to CTB would go away. Or maybe not, but at least I wouldn't have to live with who I am right now anymore. I don't even see myself as evil, just unappealing and undeserving.
 
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annxietty

annxietty

“Is there no way out of the mind?”
Mar 27, 2023
155
I hate myself with a passion, and people that dont hate me are people that still dont know me fully, my family doesnt hate me because they feel sad for me, soon hatred will replace that sad feeling, I believe.
I dislike many people, but I cant say I hate someone else, because to me "hating" someone is feeling what I feel when I think about myself or see myself in a mirror, and I dont feel like that for anyone else to this day.
 
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traumer

traumer

the thorn
Nov 18, 2023
84
I don't hate myself, I can even say that I love myself but it's not like a self-love thing. I love myself as a person, I want to discover more about my true self because it seems interesting. What I mean is that I don't like the way my brain and body works but I love myself for being a nice person even though these things don't work properly.

(is my neurodivergency showing?)
 
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underscore_nine

underscore_nine

the sweet release
Feb 17, 2023
152
i hate myself more than anyone will ever hate me
 
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GlutenFreeCat

GlutenFreeCat

You're gonna carry that weight.
Dec 6, 2023
44
Yes, lots of reasons really.
 
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N

numbed one

Student
May 22, 2023
192
I hate myself because i'm unlucky .. liké .. i can't even have a job or a good brain that Can work
 
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EvisceratedJester

EvisceratedJester

|| What Else Could I Be But a Jester ||
Oct 21, 2023
4,721
I completely loathe myself. I don't think I've ever liked myself. At best I've maybe felt neutral about myself. I honestly feel like it would have been better for everyone around me if I had never been born. The only thing I've ever accomplished in life is making everyones lives more difficult. Even when I was younger I would cry over how much I felt like a burden and wonder if I was some sort of abnormality. Like something that wasn't meant to exist but does and is now reeking havoc on the lives of others.
 
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C

chloramine

Mage
Apr 18, 2022
504
I don't know why exactly. I feel like I'm fundamentally bad and wrong. Like even if I saved a school bus full of kids tomorrow it wouldn't have any bearing on that. Logically it's probably due to how things were growing up, but I don't know for sure. I just. Detest myself though.
 
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G

Gonnerr

Enlightened
Mar 12, 2023
1,321
Yes and everything single atoms that exist.
 
R_N

R_N

-Memento Mori-
Dec 3, 2019
1,442
Not myself. I could hate others and sometimes do but try not to. I don't like having excess emotions in me because they cloud my perception and make me act irrational.
 
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ouf

ouf

Member
Dec 4, 2023
14
i sometimes hate myself and sometimes don't. when i do it's because of all the mistakes i've made. all the choices that led me to this point. and i don't hate anyone else.
 
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