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Foresight

Foresight

Enlightened
Jun 14, 2019
1,393
Do you have any unexpected issues to hopefully improve while in recovery? The less obvious ones that might surprise even you?

My time in the depths of hell has left me with some unusual things I hope to improve. One thing I thought of this morning is that smiling feels uncomfortable. Like a foreign mannerism. It feels like my face muscles have atrophied in a way and I can't easily lift my face in that way anymore. I don't know if that's the actual case but it feels like that. I need to rebuild strength in my face to smile in recovery. I also don't think my mind registers smiling correctly. I think most of my smiles in the past decade have been fake so now smiling is associated with people pleasing rather than embracing my own joy.

Another thing is I'm terrified of wearing colorful clothes. I have issues with people pointing me out because of appearance problems, so I started to wear the most bland and unnoticeable tones to avoid further eye catching sights. Now if you put me in a colorful outfit I get scared. Just wearing it is enough to tell my mind I'm vulnerable. I'm wearing bright orange today to tell my mind it's okay, you're not going to be attacked. I have so much neurosis to repair.

I was wondering if anyone could relate to these less spoken about issues and if you have any of your own?
 
  • Love
Reactions: Hollowillow
dandan

dandan

One more attempt on life.
Feb 18, 2019
1,298
Not at all, speaking sometimes can be trouble some, communicatiing, the feeling of unworthy shareable idea.
I dont like not going to the gym, im so skinny and look like easy to drop with one punch, because im skinny like I would like my girl to be forever

I fear erectile disfunction, but I'm working properly
I fear poverty
My only strange or unexpected issue to overcome, its me!! To stop thinking and trying to improve me, myself, I dont even know what to expect, and travelling without destiny its wasting time.... perhaps I should focus on what I want.
 
Hollowillow

Hollowillow

The only place that allows negative feelings.
Aug 7, 2022
1,515
Do you have any unexpected issues to hopefully improve while in recovery? The less obvious ones that might surprise even you?

My time in the depths of hell has left me with some unusual things I hope to improve. One thing I thought of this morning is that smiling feels uncomfortable. Like a foreign mannerism. It feels like my face muscles have atrophied in a way and I can't easily lift my face in that way anymore. I don't know if that's the actual case but it feels like that. I need to rebuild strength in my face to smile in recovery. I also don't think my mind registers smiling correctly. I think most of my smiles in the past decade have been fake so now smiling is associated with people pleasing rather than embracing my own joy.

Another thing is I'm terrified of wearing colorful clothes. I have issues with people pointing me out because of appearance problems, so I started to wear the most bland and unnoticeable tones to avoid further eye catching sights. Now if you put me in a colorful outfit I get scared. Just wearing it is enough to tell my mind I'm vulnerable. I'm wearing bright orange today to tell my mind it's okay, you're not going to be attacked. I have so much neurosis to repair.

I was wondering if anyone could relate to these less spoken about issues and if you have any of your own?
Aw you're gone! I'm glad the line can mean recovered not just dead. I wish we had a different line for the living. With an happy face?

You suffered so much. You sound like me. I used to people please. I LOVE wearing orange now.

Best wishes gentle fluff.
Not at all, speaking sometimes can be trouble some, communicatiing, the feeling of unworthy shareable idea.
I dont like not going to the gym, im so skinny and look like easy to drop with one punch, because im skinny like I would like my girl to be forever

I fear erectile disfunction, but I'm working properly
I fear poverty
My only strange or unexpected issue to overcome, its me!! To stop thinking and trying to improve me, myself, I dont even know what to expect, and travelling without destiny its wasting time.... perhaps I should focus on what I want.
I used to be anorexic, I think I became again due to illness. I hope that you're not into that and won't pressure your girl into that... Over exercise can force the body to burn muscle as fuel. Making the workout kinda defeat its purpose.
 
dandan

dandan

One more attempt on life.
Feb 18, 2019
1,298
Healthy exercise that is... Going out for a morning 5k run
 

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