Venting Does anyone feel like therapy is useless?

[vkore]

i relate a lot. i really want to end my therapy. ot costs so much money only for me to vent a bit and nothing ever works. she also doesn't understand me not wanting to work. i tell her the thought of working every single day seems awful and makes me suicidal, she just shruggs it off saying i'll eventually "find meaning in work". she thinks i'm weird for hating the idea of my life revolving around work.

 

[charaunderground]

I think how well therapy can work vastly depends on your "issue". Like, you just want to talk to someone honestly because you're just dealing with basic stress, depression over a single event (ex. loved one died recently), a single trauma/mental illness? I think that's probably more "fixable" than, say, someone who has multiple issues that aren't going to be magically fixed by just discussing them and "changing their view" or whatever (whether it be financial problems, living with abusive relatives, multiple comorbid mental health issues, chronic pain, whatever).


It also doesn't help that a lot of therapists will flat out talk about their patients to others without there being a need. They're supposedly only meant to if you're an immediate danger to yourself or others, but the shrink I had and my sister had a couple times as kids constantly told out parents what we discussed, which let to further abuse and isolation. I realized pretty quickly she was no help / actively harmful (at best she offered platitudes) and just flat out started lying saying I was fine and nothing was wrong and she seemingly just instantly believed me (mind you, I was fifteen and probably not very convincing).

 

[hereornot]

I don't think it's useless. But I closely followed a family member with severe disorders from.ClusterB.

There is no cure, there is nothing that can be done. One of her doctors, when questioned, confirmed to me that there was no chance of any improvement. On the contrary, it only gets worse.

For people like this, it may be pointless to spend on a doctor. Only live away from all people in the world or CTB. For themselves, their families and the world.

Sorry for the hard words.

 

[Hotsackage]

The best therapy is doing you're own research, obviously it depends, I'm just saying you can't rely on someone to solve you're problems

 

[hereornot]

I don't think it's useless. But I closely followed a family member with severe disorders from.ClusterB.

There is no cure, there is nothing that can be done. One of her doctors, when questioned, confirmed to me that there was no chance of any improvement. On the contrary, it only gets worse.

For people like this, it may be pointless to spend on a doctor. Just live away with no contact with all people in the world. Or, for sure, CTB soon.

For themselves, their families and the world.

Sorry for the hard words.

 

[WearyWanderer]

Ex-fucking-xactly. It's classist ableist sanist and also shitty and unsupportive to tell people to get therapy.


I'd rather just be told I can't emotionally handle talking about this with you anymore.


And yes some problems are unsolvable. Just got set up with a new therapist who kept asking what my goals for treatment are but like I've already tried the goals and when every fucking person around you is resistant and you're forced to depend on them it doesn't fucking work.

She tried to blame the inefficiency I described on the fact that most therapists I saw were not super experienced and qualified but it wasn't that because they did still give me suggestions and homework to work on.

The only use for it for me now will just be to vent about how shitty and impossible my life is but most counselors don't even believe those types of situations exist bc of like you said, wealth and privilege.


That's why talking to people here helps me more than any counselor has on the emotional validation side of things and feeling understood at least bc at least there's people here in similar hardships who have actually been through the types of things I'm going through and know why certain parts are unfixable.

I love you all and it's such an agonizing nightmare that the world is like this. Also counselors didn't used to exist bc the world and culture was more of a community and collectivistic.

They say it takes a village to raise a child not a therapist. And village members actually help each other in tangible ways with collaborative symbiotic relationships where each person can support when and how they are able to.

Modernity has honestly been somewhat of a negative imo because it's only increased isolation, the lie that everyone needs to be self-reliant and individualistic behaviors and lifestyles.

I wish I was born somewhere other than the US so I actually had a real family support system including extended family members willing to actively help and care for each other.

Even aside from the money thing in order to enact the strategies and suggestions that therapists recommend a person has to have the time and energy which mental health/illness, free time and physical condition all affect the capacity for. And people who are houseless or low income working full time often don't even have the capacity for enough free time to process their emotions, reduce stress and relax.

Honestly if you're able to sort of subtly point out to your counselor what you wrote about her class privilege and how much different and easier it is if you have money maybe it would be enlightening to her and help her see her own cognitive distortions of reality lmao. But if does sound like she's not very receptive or a good fit either way since you have ongoing frustrations with her personality and approach (quite understandably so).

The best counselor I had was a grief counselor bc she had been through some form of trauma herself.

Also the more money you have the easier it is to access more knowledgeable experienced counselors who might have more tools or approaches to treatments so there's a Catch-22 there as well since the worst cases here are usually in poverty.

But yes, imo counseling is only helpful up to a certain point and it doesn't take away the need for some type of emotional support system in general daily life so if you don't have that which a lot of people don't you're kind of fucked in a way.

People need each other and a lot of needed resources and programs for different mental and physical issues don't even exist. But the social workers act like they do or like you can survive without.

I think this is the reason behind some of those cases of doctors and insurance CEOs getting shot and killed. Not saying it's right and the level is also within the system itself not any individual person but the fact that it happens proves that the world is a terrifying nightmare where everyone is all about money/maintaining wealth, cutting costs and their own selves not collective healing and change for the better.

Maybe that's why another person in this thread finds the idea of endless work disgusting and honestly, yeah it is.

We're supposed to be out in nature and moving/exercising/getting sunlight and living off the land and garden not crunching over desks like shrimp for hours on end slaving away until we die.

So yes some people are depressed but it's moreso that the entire state of the world is depressing and (nearly) insurmountable for a lot of us.

Disclaimer: This is not an encouragement for attempting CTB I just have lost all hope and am living proof of need for legalizing euthanasia for humans.

 

[littleearthquakes]

Not just useless but actively harmful. Yes, it taught me some "emotional regulation" skills to try to calm myself in crises, even if those crises were valid. And some better ways to hide who I am and my pain, if that's a good thing. But it's notoriously bad for real issues like oppression, trauma, chronic pain and illness. The usual method is just to tell people they're overreacting and upset for no good reason even if that's not true. Some forms like acceptance type therapies can be more helpful but it's hard to find a good provider. I've seen and experienced therapy doing a lot of harm vs good. Even people with more "typical" issues like depression with no clear cause often find it useless to be told to cheer up, get out more etc. It doesn't validate or address root issues.

 

[ambivalent_thespian]

my family had me in therapy from a very young age, expensive af and didn't do shit.

i feel like child therapists talk down to their clients, especially adolescents. they want to make you feel like your worries aren't real and that everything will work out in the end. they don't consider that even teens have valid things to worry about.


i'm trying to see a psychologist instead of a therapist. i'd like my problems to be solved instead of just being told to breathe and keep a journal.

if he can't help me, if i can't get a diagnosis and get on meds, i might just end it. i can't keep living like this

 

[to fall to winter]

I've seen multiple different therapists and none of them have or are helping me at all. They all spout the same shit I've heard a million times before as if this time will be when the advice suddenly turns my life around. I vented to my current therapist about my depression and suicidal thoughts and I wish I was making it up when I say his advice was to throw a dance party and maybe that would make me feel better. And maybe that was supposed to be a joke but at the time when I was sobbing my eyes out it just felt cruel.

It's ridiculous that therapists I have to pay for are just telling me the same stuff I can read off some Pinterest motivational image.

 

[Dr Iron Arc]

Therapy has never worked for me and it likely never will because I already know that the only thing that can open my mind is utterly unattainable to me.

I also feel like therapy is similar to religion where if you don't truly believe in it then you're not going to get any value in reciting its doctrines.

 

[Tig]

Therapists are money suckers, better to talk a true friend.
Therapists, #$%& them all I say !!!

 

[Trismegistus_13]

It's really tough to find the right therapist for you. I wish there was a way to see how the patient and provider would mesh before meeting, but unfortunately it sometimes takes months to realize. My own therapist is a saint, and I got incredibly lucky I found her. I do believe therapy can greatly help most people, provided you find the right type of therapy and the right therapist for you.

 

[living.dead.girl]

depends on the modality. NFB really helped me integrate some shit I never would have otherwise.
nobody said life was easy.

 

[WorthlessTrash]

Its useless for me. I need a solution, not cope.

 

[singingcrow]

yes! talk therapy is at least

 

[Lost Magic]

I would say it varies from person to person. But 'in my opinion' it's just a good paying job for somebody to talk down to you. When I was a kid, I had one tell me to walk up the street 'a dodgy one at that' a few times per day, and another said that I was dreaming up imaginary monsters. The truth is... that street is still dangerous and all the monsters are real!

 

[foreverlanguish]

My now ex counselor was helpful for the most part, but she sometimes had some phony pop science opinion to push, which I didn't like.