Do you have friends?

[Hollowman]

No. I'm not interesting or funny enough. Most people want to be entertained.

 

[Sprite_Geist]

No. I used to have a small number of individuals who I had a close bond with... not anymore. There were also quite a few who I really liked, and could have bonded with, but it never happened, because they either: A - met me at the wrong part of my life, B - never felt completely the same way despite us "gelling" enough, or C - I did not express myself properly, and gave them the impression that I was not interested.

I miss the friends who I had. I miss the friendships I never had. There could be a million people on this planet who would love to connect with you or me, but we will likely never meet them due to the factors of life. This seriously disturbs me; the thought is torturous.

...I apologize for the ending rant.

 

[MyDeath88]

Every time i see posts of my friends hanging out together on sns, i feel miserable. I can't adjust to new environments at all, and i'm always by myself
I don't even know what i've achieved in my life

I can heavily relate. Though I do crave social interaction, any time a relationship evolves past a certain point I get scared and dip out. Not to mention the periods where I just can't do much of anything and completely shut down, isn't really feasible to maintain a connection when I dissappear from the face of the earth every 6 months. Feels very alienating to try and pretend I'm a normal person worth making friends with most of the time.

 

[Vlad Tepes]

Absolutely not. I've never had any, and with all the trauma I have been through, I will certainly never be able to.

 

[Polyxo]

None IRL. I have one online friend that I've been talking with literally every day for three years though and I consider them my best friend. I used to have a few in high school but those friendships were really toxic. One of those ex high school friends recently tried reconnecting with me and apologized for being toxic. I'm cautiously talking with that person and honestly I've been kind of disinterested in reconnecting, but I'm doing it anyway because I felt it wouldn't hurt if I don't have any friends anyway.

My online friend will miss me once I'm gone because they really do enjoy being my friend. Eventually they'll stop talking with me, I think, because we're both mid-twenties and they've been wanting to really progress in their life. I can't imagine they'd want to continue spending most of their day on discord talking with some Internet person for the rest of their life.

That online person is the best relationship I've ever had, honestly. Might as well go out knowing it won't get any better than this. It will for them, though, because they're strong and amazing. I believe in them that they can move on.

 

[purplesky9]

I only have one friend my partner. Don't know what I'd do without him. Really scared about getting older and what will happen if I still don't have any friends when I'm old.

 

[blissfulness]

i've been through 4 friend groups in my life, each lost to moving or just disbanding... i've got about 2 "loose" friends at the moment. maybe i'll find a new friend group? things have changed so much now and i honestly prefer spending time alone now...

No, I don't like people. The only friends I have are imaginary (I don't mean that as a joke, btw. I'm serious).

no way a vada vada fan?!

 

[DarknessAtNoon]

Nope. Used to, but once it fully dawned on me just how mentally damaged I was I isolated myself and lost touch with all of them.

 

[amerie]

Nope, none. Back in my school days I had just a few, but it was all only surface level. Eventually, I realized this reality, that I was only ever the dumb & autistic class clown. Just being "Friendly and nice" really isn't enough past elementary, let me tell you.

Seeing everyone else with actual friends and connections, it just makes it clear that kind of stuff isn't really for me. I've never connected with another person like that, and I probably never will. I've approached that kind of relation, maybe one other user here that's dead now; but really I just keep getting my hopes up just for being able to talk to other people without carefully watching what I say with people online.

Lonely now and forever, until I die, and beyond.

I feel you to a painful extent, I learned how to mask by people pleasing but the problem is it only works for so long. People don't just want nice, they want funny, real, complex, vulnerable. But my complex and vulnerable is institution worthy. I can't even be myself around my own parents, I look forward to being alone the most because no one judges you for anything.

Sorry if I made it all about myself, I just wanted to share my experience to make you feel less alone.

 

[-nobodyknows-]

Sort of. I always felt like the word "friend" was thrown around a little too much in my culture though, so I've always been a bit careful about using it.

I'm not sure if I'd call the people I spend time with my "friends" simply because I'm not really sure how close I am to them, and how much they care about me.

 

[Manic Panic]

Only people who are online , I have no irl friends

 

[hippiedeath]

I sabotage my friendships. When I start getting close I do something to fuck it up every time. Seems like I can only be friends with psychos.

 

[Lxions]

i have no friends. i dont talk to anybody, not even family. i cant remember the last time i had a conversation with a "friend".

 

[EvisceratedJester]

no way a vada vada fan?!

Wait, you also like Vada Vada? Oh hell yeah!

 

[tsumihoroboshi]

i don't know. maybe i have a few online friends, none irl, but people's feelings change like the wind--so even if someone says they're my friend, that's only what they feel in that second. the next second it might not be true. i spare myself to hassle by assuming everyone hates and dislikes me. i'm better off alone and dead.

 

[Notlikeforte]

Only online, I never can get too close to people irl. Approaching others always felt like too much of an obstacle, plus the anxiety makes it impossible for me to have anything to say. I can never share anything about myself since I feel so afraid of being judged and I have to force myself to mask. I got bullied in school a lot and that put me off of wanting to engage with society anymore.
Overall I don't know how other people can manage to make connections, it has never seemed feasible for myself. Sometimes I wish I could just be normal, but I doubt that would fix all of my issues.

 

[Satori Komeiji]

I had one friend in real life. We were childhood friends and grew up together. Once we graduated from high school though he moved far away. I would sometimes drive to his house and we would spend time together. Then he moved even further away and my car broke down so now I cannot visit him. It's been about a year since my last visit.
I have one close online friend. I used to have two but one of them expressed wanting to live a tech free life and disappeared from the internet entirely. I miss her constantly. I talked to her more than anybody. I wish she would come back although that's a pretty self-centered thing to say.

 

[PI3.14]

No

 

[Alexandra0]

My friends are my 2 flowers

 

[Archness]

I feel you to a painful extent, I learned how to mask by people pleasing but the problem is it only works for so long. People don't just want nice, they want funny, real, complex, vulnerable. But my complex and vulnerable is institution worthy. I can't even be myself around my own parents, I look forward to being alone the most because no one judges you for anything.

Sorry if I made it all about myself, I just wanted to share my experience to make you feel less alone.

No problem. Yea masking doesn't work... Just being nice only really works in elementary school and I was just riding off the momentum for the rest of my school life. It not that my deeper aspects are for the psych-ward, more that it's outright alien, atleast that's the feeling every time I try to be more deep and genuine. So usually I interact with other people as little as possible using surface-level social scripts while being more real online like here on SaSu where there isn't necessary real consequences & people can be less judgemental.

Only online, I never can get too close to people irl. Approaching others always felt like too much of an obstacle, plus the anxiety makes it impossible for me to have anything to say. I can never share anything about myself since I feel so afraid of being judged and I have to force myself to mask. I got bullied in school a lot and that put me off of wanting to engage with society anymore.
Overall I don't know how other people can manage to make connections, it has never seemed feasible for myself. Sometimes I wish I could just be normal, but I doubt that would fix all of my issues.

Even online it's pretty difficult for me. IDK if it's due to being Autistic or outright Asocial. IRL is outright impossible. On a fundamental level I'm different from everyone else and we just can't understand eachother.

 

[forfever]

at least were not alone in being alone.
i dont even leave my room, and why should i. nothing feels ok

 

[starboy2k]

my phone and the food in my fridge are my only friends

 

[rorrawrror]

Every time i see posts of my friends hanging out together on sns, i feel miserable. I can't adjust to new environments at all, and i'm always by myself
I don't even know what i've achieved in my life

I honestly got so sick of watching my friends have fun without me i completely isolated. I have no irl friends atm.

 

[nya]

I understand. I have friends, but I don't hang out with them, and the few times I do I feel like I don't really fit in. Sometimes I get jealous of how close they are with each other. Why can't I be like them?

heyy, so perhaps that is due to the fact that you don't hang out with them, so there is never an opportunity there for you to get close to them like they are to each other, simply because they see each other constantly.
that would also go along with you not feeling like you fit in well, because if you only occasionally are with them, and neither of you have been given the opportunity to get as close as you may wish, it is not very far fetched that you may feel you don't quite fit in - that's often the case when a friend group is just establishing or you are new to one; in my experience giving it some time, time together with them of couse, meeting up, being nice, supportive and there, and if they are good friends, they will do the same towards you in whatever shape and form they personally express affection, helps immensely...
so really, i am pretty certain it couldn't hurt to try to get a little closer to them, as friends are undeniably something that makes existance less painful, less lonely, and most importantly, can give you a purpose :)

 

[ultradespair]

irl no because I isolated and cut everyone off but online yes a few