Discussion Do you talk to people about your suicidal ideation?

[grapevoid]

I am curious
- Have you/do you discuss your feelings or plans about suicide with anyone close to you?
- If you have/do, how do the people around you react?

I have openly discussed my suicidal ideation and with many people close to me in the past, especially when I had just been released from the hospital after a failed attempt. Even while in my outpatient program and being very vulnerable with people close to me most people acted as if it was a joke. So, I am not curious others experience with this.

 

[failedmind]

i talk about it with my mom. shes aware that im suicidal but not aware that i have a plan. i keep trying to tell her im okay so she wont worry so much :(

 

[notgonnamakeit]

I talked about it with my outpatient therapist and she talked me into a voluntary wellness check, which I then spent 6 days in a psych ward after. I've lost my ability to purchase firearms because of this and lost significant amount of money which is a leading factor of my ideation. I will never talk about it in the real world again

Exactly. My experience was not as bad as yours, and I'm very sorry to hear that, but telling others that I am suicidal has never benefited me. Around a month ago, I told my parents that I would rather kill myself than get a job or go to school. They tricked me into going into the ER, which was way overdrawn, but they have a history of overreacting to things. Now I keep getting emails from the ER that I never said I wanted to go to asking me to pay a bill, which is just even more detrimental to my mental health. I would honestly say I was more okay before that ER visit, and it was a turning point for me further descending me into this downwards spiral. So yeah, telling people I'm suicidal has not helped me at all, and I'm not surprised to hear others feel the same.
On the other side of things, I'm Gen Z and I know a lot of people from my generation are a lot more open about this stuff. If you have close friends you trust, then I could kind of understand how you may be able to talk about this type of stuff with them. For me though, every time I say anything it just results in happy people trying to 'fix' me, which I'm so tired of at this point.

 

[HopingOnaMiracle]

I told my therapist once and she threatened to tell my parents if 'shit got real' so I never did it again.
I talk about the thoughts and feelings but absolutely not about my preperations or anything that could stop me doing it .

 

[NonEssential]

Most of my family, online friends and school psychiatrist know I've had suicidal thoughts. Only people on this site know how suicidal I am though.

 

[Hollowman]

My mom knows. She told me to wait until after she's gone. She's aware nothing can help me atp. I've been waiting for many years and I'm not sure how much longer I can. Everything is so pointless..

 

[Rhymester]

I only have one person in my life with whom I can share conversations of such kind with.

My mother told me recently that she regrets having me.

It's my birthday today. I'm 22, but I feel old and hopeless.

 

[Yume Nikki]

i expressed it many times with my family and they said i was too much of a coward to do it.

 

[ventingfrustrations]

I am curious
- Have you/do you discuss your feelings or plans about suicide with anyone close to you?
- If you have/do, how do the people around you react?

I have openly discussed my suicidal ideation and with many people close to me in the past, especially when I had just been released from the hospital after a failed attempt. Even while in my outpatient program and being very vulnerable with people close to me most people acted as if it was a joke. So, I am not curious others experience with this.

I hide it from everyone close a lot of people in my life have depression as well and I don't want to put my suicidal ideation thoughts

 

[RiverOfLife]

I had talked with my therapist in the past. But now I don't want to let anyone know in case they try to stop me.

 

[grapevoid]

I only have one person in my life with whom I can share conversations of such kind with.

My mother told me recently that she regrets having me.

It's my birthday today. I'm 22, but I feel old and hopeless.

Happy birthday! You're not old! LOL

i expressed it many times with my family and they said i was too much of a coward to do it.

That's helpful- dare the suicidal person to do it….

 

[Life'sA6itch]

 

[grapevoid]

I had talked with my therapist in the past. But now I don't want to let anyone know in case they try to stop me.

I openly tell my therapist and psychiatrist that I have suicidal ideation because obviously I tried to kill myself so no point in hiding it. But I never admit to the depth of it, hint at a plan to attempt to carry it out again, or anything that would make them think they should admit me to the hospital haha

 

[Gamelle]

I only have one person in my life with whom I can share conversations of such kind with.

My mother told me recently that she regrets having me.

It's my birthday today. I'm 22, but I feel old and hopeless.

I know it doesn't seem like it- but at 22 you have an endless amount of time. I thought it was "too late" at 22 as well. There's no words to describe how badly I wish I could go back to 22 and start over. Please believe me when I tell you that you are very young and there is very little that you couldn't recover from and write an entirely new path for your life.

I'm telling you this because I really wish someone had told me that when I was 22.

 

[hawkshorizon]

I used to when I felt very scared and dramatic about it. Now, I only talk about it with my therapist and only in the most general and philosophical manner. Today I'm still a little scared but far more accepting of it as a fact.

 

[outrider567]

I am curious
- Have you/do you discuss your feelings or plans about suicide with anyone close to you?
- If you have/do, how do the people around you react?

I have openly discussed my suicidal ideation and with many people close to me in the past, especially when I had just been released from the hospital after a failed attempt. Even while in my outpatient program and being very vulnerable with people close to me most people acted as if it was a joke. So, I am not curious others experience with this.

No, I only talk about loss and depression, but never CTB to anyone

 

[fuewybfunsfoiceoi]

I don't discuss with anyone except for here. My old folks are two adult-children where they never communicate or are vulnerable with each other. They like to try to guilt me into living, and speak of annoying things. 'think only of positive thoughts' 'don't you know how I would feel if you weren't here?' 'people your age should be sunny and eager' 'don't talk to others if you want to ctb'
on the bright side, this is also an encouragement to work towards ctb, I'm motivated into making dreams reality

 

[uta]

I have talked about it a bit with my psychiatrist, who at one appointment asked if I had thought of methods/if I had a gun. I declined to go into detail, and I lied when they asked if I currently think about particular methods. One time they told me to call a hotline or emergency services if I was really close to ctb. I don't think I would ever call, as my thoughts are of a deliberative nature and I don't imagine myself impulsively ending my life on a whim (I've never attempted).

My sense is the psychiatrist imagines the ideation as an unwanted intrusive thought that randomly pops into my head, ruining my day. This is not the case, and I struggle to find a way to talk about it with them, or decide if I should even try to have a conversation.

The way professionals talk about suicidal ideation, while rarely trying to understand why you feel this way, seems about as fallacious and oversimplified as the culturally common perception of depression as a "chemical imbalance". For me, the desire to die is primary, rational from my perspective, and caused/resulted in a major depressive episode rather than stemming from one. The preference to die remained in a later period when I was in remission and at my happiest point in life and intended to have as normal a life as possible, for family's sake if nothing else. Too much has since happened though to maintain that attitude.

To update on this, I actually just finally had a decent conversation with my psych about chronic suicidality and assisted suicide (which is only available here for people with <6 months to live).

I first asked what would get me committed, and they said having a specific plan with intention to carry it out imminently. So I went on to explain it's never been an impulsive thing for me and that I've seriously considered telling my family something along the lines of I intend to die in about a year. They actually asked if I have any thoughts on medically assisted dying and we went into it a bit.

I didn't expect to have that kind of interaction, but afterwards I felt an odd mixture of shaken up but also relieved and heard.

 

[OhWellDerp321]

I am curious
- Have you/do you discuss your feelings or plans about suicide with anyone close to you?
- If you have/do, how do the people around you react?

I have openly discussed my suicidal ideation and with many people close to me in the past, especially when I had just been released from the hospital after a failed attempt. Even while in my outpatient program and being very vulnerable with people close to me most people acted as if it was a joke. So, I am not curious others experience with this.

Feelings?
Yes. When I was younger I did. I took the advice of "opening up" to others. This was awful advice.
You open up. But you soon realize that no one actually wants to hear you rant or it makes the conversation awkward.
Not saying its there fault. I realized this is human nature.
1) No one is meant to hear about your problems because it stresses them out. They have their own problems to worry about.
2) Even if the friend / whoever you are speaking to thinks you are weak or doesn't want to hear about you whine, they won't say it. Why? Because its human nature to be nice to your friends. Unless they really hate you, they won't say what they really think. So at the end of the day, you are just having a fake conversation to make yourself feel better.

Plans to suicide?
Fuck no. Never will. All you're asking for is to be put in a psych ward.

 

[natthebrat]

i do with my gf sometimes. she's had people close to her commit suicide in the past so she gets really upset about it and worried about me.

aside from her, no, usually bc i dont trust them not to put me in the psych ward. even one person who i met originally through this forum, i havent openly discussed it with just bc im so used to having to hide it from others. the only exception is one friend who is a pharmacist, who i told as i was hoping i could bribe him into getting me some methadone to ctb, but he wouldnt do it.

 

[Jaded_Wolf]

I think the most I've described my plans in specific detail was when I was hospitalized last month for suicidal ideation. With the inevitable question of "do you feel you need to go inpatient" already being resolved, I felt like I could share whatever was on my mind in regards to thinking about suicide.

In the outside world, it's much more restricted. I have one online friend I'm very open with about my suicidal plans. She's very pro-life and tells me I should focus on living (instead of dying). With mental health professionals, I have shared about my suicidal ideation, but the conversation inevitably goes to whether I can avoid making an attempt, and if I can't, would I be willing to go inpatient?

Other closer friends, I have talked about having suicidal ideation, but rarely the specifics on the methods. Maybe they don't want to know or feel it's just not relevant to the conversation? Perhaps if I had my own firearm, my friends would be more keen on asking about which method(s) of suicide I'm considering?

 

[is seven]

曾经和我的父亲说过我预计什么时候离开这个世界，但是他表现的感觉我不会这么做，觉得我就是说说而已

曾经和我的父亲说过我预计什么时候离开这个世界，但是他表现的感觉我不会这么做，觉得我就是说说而已

后面他可能越想越不对 找我说不可以这样子说什么的 让我多考虑一下他们，可是谁考虑过我！我活着并不快乐很痛苦

 

[isolonelygirl99]

I decided long ago that mentioning my suicidal thoughts will only land me in a psychiatric hospital. A few years ago, I was severely addicted to Xanax and fell asleep while sitting on the toilet. I fell forward and my head smacked the toilet paper holder, my eye landed on the edge of it. Blood soaked the left side of my face, dripping from my chin onto the floor. I made up an excuse about how it happened, and my dad drove me to the ER. I WAS NOT TRYING TO KILL MYSELF! However, my oldest brother showed up while I was there and told my doctor I was suicidal and needed to be committed. Luckily I was able to convince the psychiatrist who was brought in due to the accusation that if I was going to kill myself, I would come up with something much less painful. I am not a moron and could devise a smarter solution to end my life. That experience, as well as others throughout my life, have taught me to keep my thoughts to myself unless I just need some attention I might regret later on.

 

[grapevoid]

I decided long ago that mentioning my suicidal thoughts will only land me in a psychiatric hospital. A few years ago, I was severely addicted to Xanax and fell asleep while sitting on the toilet. I fell forward and my head smacked the toilet paper holder, my eye landed on the edge of it. Blood soaked the left side of my face, dripping from my chin onto the floor. I made up an excuse about how it happened, and my dad drove me to the ER. I WAS NOT TRYING TO KILL MYSELF! However, my oldest brother showed up while I was there and told my doctor I was suicidal and needed to be committed. Luckily I was able to convince the psychiatrist who was brought in due to the accusation that if I was going to kill myself, I would come up with something much less painful. I am not a moron and could devise a smarter solution to end my life. That experience, as well as others throughout my life, have taught me to keep my thoughts to myself unless I just need some attention I might regret later on.

I hate to laugh because it's unfortunate you can't talk to people but I did LOL at your story. I can't imagine someone trying to gouge their eye out.. to death.

 

[isolonelygirl99]

I hate to laugh because it's unfortunate you can't talk to people but I did LOL at your story. I can't imagine someone trying to gouge their eye out.. to death.

Right! Honestly I laughed when the doctor asked me if it was self inflicted and why did I want to end my life. I told him I feared my eye might pop out of my head from laughing. It was insane.

 

[Boots2Scoots]

No, but I'd like to so I don't have to keep it all in. My partner gets extremely mad and flips out on me if she hears about it and my family all lives kinda far and just doesn't need to know/worry. I have one close friend that I could talk to about it but at the end of the day, I don't reach out to him too much aside from gaming.