Discussion Do you wish to be found?

[Buñuelo]

I'd like to be found after dying. I feel like I wouldn't rest in peace if nobody can be sure I'm gone.
I know my family will suffer, but they will overcome it. Maybe it's selfish of me to want them to be certain I'm dead?
I don't want to be searched forever if they think I'm missing.

How about you? Would you prefer to die with no one knowing? How would you like your remains to be treated?

 

[ForeverCaHa]

I could definitely disappear without my family questioning it for a long time. I've lived abroad (Spain, France, then China) for the majority of the last 10 years, so it's not out of character for me to skip country and make a new life away. That would be my 'cover story': "Hey I'm gonna go live in I don't know Djibouti or somewhere, don't message me or call me." If I were to disappear after my mum died, I can guarantee the remainder of my family wouldn't seek me out for god knows how long.

Whether I want to not be found, though? No. Similar to you, I would want to give people closure. I'll likely go before my mum dies, and I wouldn't want to off myself in a way that would leave her waiting and expecting me to come home. My partner is confirmed deceased, and my heart still skips a beat when I see a car pull up outside or when my phone buzzes, I expect it to be him even though it's impossible. I can't imagine the distress one would feel if there were no confirmation of death, that expectation would be unbearable. It would drive me insane.

 

[Namelesa]

Yes I definitely would want my body to found by family. I want to traumatize my family for creating and then forcing me to continue my existence by trapping me. They deserve to be punished and to suffer from my death as much as possible.

 

[Promised Heaven]

I choose hanging, I'll be found, and I made peace with it.

As much as I want my organs to be donated, my method can result in lifelong paralysis and brain damage if I am saved, but if I pass for too long, the organs wouldn't be saved. I've also made peace with that.

Since a young age I've wanted my body not in a casket with embalming, but as nutrients to be grown into a tree. I feel people can appreciate a growing tree rather than a standalone gravestone. If not anything else, I want that wish to be respected.

 

[Aprilwithcake]

Yes I want to be found before to much rot sets in

 

[hereornot]

No

 

[cylus46]

Yes. I want my mother to see what she caused.

 

[SchizoGymnast]

I would love to disappear, alive or dead, but that won't happen. Twice in the past year, I went "missing" for a few hours for a totally innocent reason and the police were called for a welfare check.

I have had my parents removed as emergency contacts so that if anything happens, they won't know right away.

 

[FuneralCry]

It wouldn't matter to me as I just won't exist at that point, all will be gone and forgotten instead which is all I wish and hope for, I just see death as normal and inevitable as after all everyone has to die somewhere someday and it will happen no matter what but I would choose to erase this cruel, futile existence like I never suffered at all if it's up to me as I just want to disappear from this existence I personally always saw as a mistake. I just wish to be unconscious for all eternity, in this existence where there's all this cruelty and suffering non-existence really is the only peace for me, I'd be relieved to never suffer ever again, for me non-existence is all I see as positive and desirable.

 

[dead dav]

I'm not bothered either way tbh

 

[cryptoinvestor]

Yes. I want my mother to see what she caused.

she'll be happy and feel powerful. you want to give her that satisfaction

 

[Shadows From Hell]

I know it probably won't happen, but I don't want to be found. I just want my body left where it lies.

 

[getoutgirl]

I've strugled with that question a Lot. When I'm most suicidal I always fantasize about faking a disappearence, leaving letters like "hey I'm joining the circus forever bbye", packing things to make it believable and then off myself secretly in a place no one would ever find my body. That way my loved ones might think I'm still out there living my best life and not mourn my death.
It's not ideal. They would still be sad and worried without closure, sure. But it's the best I've got. And honestly it may be the one thing I've thought most about in my whole life. I can't get it off my head.

 

[MercenariesofMidgar]

I'd like to be found after dying. I feel like I wouldn't rest in peace if nobody can be sure I'm gone.
I know my family will suffer, but they will overcome it. Maybe it's selfish of me to want them to be certain I'm dead?
I don't want to be searched forever if they think I'm missing.

How about you? Would you prefer to die with no one knowing? How would you like your remains to be treated?

Finding the body of the deceased gives closure... would rather them know I'm gone and to not hope that I'd appear on their doorstep one day.

 

[elkheart]

No I want my fresh body to get devoured by coyotes or wolves deep in the woods so it can be given back to the Earth like it belongs. I have had so little autonomy over my body throughout my life, I deserve to have the final say in how I want to lay it to rest. I plan on snail mailing a few letters and no one will have doubts about it or hope, it's been a long time coming for me, I think people will be a little relieved that they don't have to worry about me anymore and that I'm finally at peace.

 

[pyranha]

i do not want to be found and, if found, would like to be cremated and then for the mortician to have the ashes thrown out somewhere where they can never be recovered by anyone. this is, unfortunately, not possible for me- my body will have to be found by an emt or a police officer, one of the two. and then it's up to my family to do whatever they want with my remains and leftover items, since i have no will.

in an ideal world, though, i'd love for no one to ever know if im truly dead, and for my body to go back into being nothing at all. im a firm believer in the idea that you leave a campsite better than you found it, and so i do not want to leave the mess of my physical body around. it'd be kinda interesting to become a missing persons case though- like if i had the money to just go to a different country and live there unidentified. a different sort of death.

 

[EmoIsNotAPhase]

No I feel like it would bring more trauma. I'll have notes so they know I'm gone but I'll be mangled from jumping. It wouldn't be a sight that should be viewed. I'll give closure just don't look at me and how I went.

 

[WhatCouldHaveBeen32]

I would like to be found so my decomposing body doesn't turn into a biohazard , but I imagine the hands of hades will emerge from beneath me and take me with them to hell way before any of that happens!

 

[Halfhourdays]

No, I'd like to disappear completely.

 

[NeverHis]

As much as I'd like to just vanish up in smoke, I don't think that will happen.
And I think not knowing would make it worse for the few people who still care (mainly my mom and dad). So.... Yes, once I'm beyond resurrection, I guess I'd want them to find and know for sure what happened?

 

[citrusrope]

I know that technically, I'd be dead so it really wouldn't matter what happens after I were to hypothetically be gone. But somewhere within me, I do sometimes "fantasize" being found along with a letter I maybe wrote, so that everyone who didn't take me seriously would have to live with that baggage. Now that's only something that I fantasize for escapism, for the most part I actually don't want to hurt people like that I think, so maybe what I really wanted was to not have existed at all in the first place. That way no one would get hurt. I already know what emotional agony feels like. I wouldn't want to wish that on my parents or whoever else no matter how much mixed feelings I might harbor about them.

 

[untraveler]

I know my death would hurt my family even if we're not really that close. I still wouldn't want to add the traumatic look of my dead body in brutal state, even if my death would suck for them anyway already. If I'd use inert gas, maybe it would be ok for me to be found. There is a chance I'd use a gun, so then I'd rather not to be found or seen by my family.

They wouldn't find my body anyway, because we rarely talk and I'm the one who drives to visit them. They'd only see me way later probably after somebody else have had found me, which still wouldn't be pleasant for them.

There is another reason I'd rather not be found. There is a chance someone would try to rescue me right after ctb, which would be the worst thing if they were to be successful. The risk of it is scary to think about. So a somewhat remote place seems good, to be not found by anyone, really. At least not before I die.

I'd want people closer to me to know I'm dead, though. And that we're not going to interact anymore, so they know not to search for me needlesly. I'd leave a note in my apartment for my family so they know. I'd leave clean apartment with no mess.

I don't know how would I make them visit my apartment to see the note, though. And I'm not risking telling them before I actually have had died.

 

[Mary Janex]

Yes I want people to know and to understand, the damage they have done to me, that this has been my only way out

 

[Silently Dying]

I want to be found although I will have to ensure that no one else is hurt by my method. I want to be cremated and have my ashes thrown into the ocean. I've seen the ashes of someone whose ashes were thrown into the mountains. It was so serene; it was almost as if he was finally free to fly where he wanted. Since that time I knew I wanted cremation. Just to be free and fly.