NSFW Does anyone else like Onlyfans girls?

[Pessimist]

I have bad social anxiety and no friends. Call me weird and parasocial but I'd rather subscribe and chat with Onlyfans girls rather than have something genuine with a woman. I love to buy custom content and booty pics. I always compliment the girls and they also respond with affection. I'm not very wealthy but I spend a good amount on them, which is embarrassing. I don't know what's wrong with me.

Feel free to share your opinion even if it's negative. Maybe I can also get a woman's perspective. I know that society is shit and I'm part of the problem.

 

[asocial]

how do you know it's really the girl instead of some guy working for her that's getting paid to respond to customers?

 

[TransilvanianHunger]

Personally, I don't see the appeal, but I'm not about to shame or judge anyone else for it.

I assume you feel more comfortable interacting with these girls than you do interacting with women in the real world, right? What would you say is the main difference? You make the distinction between these interactions and "genuine" ones, so you're presumably aware that any affection you get in return is purely meant to keep you engaged and giving them money, and not something genuine. In that case, why do you feel this kind of unauthentic interaction is worth investing your time, energy, and resources in, over trying to build authentic relationships with people around you?

 

[Pessimist]

how do you know it's really the girl instead of some guy working for her that's getting paid to respond to customers?

I prefer to subscribe to girls who don't have a lot of followers so I'm pretty sure it's them. They also live stream sometimes and engage with the chat.

 

[MercenariesofMidgar]

It feels too fake... Rather get with a real woman but all I am is driven towards ctb

 

[Namelesa]

Personally this absolutely okay thing to do as long as you are not pressuring them. If you just want to have sexual interactions, that's okay if you do it in appropriate place like OnlyFans or sex chat rooms. As a woman, I can like just having a pure sexual interaction if its in the appropriate place and time as I have a great fear of abandonment so making close humans connections to me is hard but I still want to feel of some value to other people. I mean I have literally done sex video calls for others for free just cus of how much I enjoy being valued sexually and complimented and told what to do so they might be doing it for those reasons as well as money. Personally I won't want to spend money on interactions like this but if you are okay with that go ahead.

 

[TheHolySword]

We're only here for as long as we can be. May as well enjoy whatever aspects of life that we can. As long as you aren't actively hurting anyone, it doesn't really matter. It's not for me, but then again nothing about this life is. If you enjoy it and it brings you some amount of comfort or whatever it is you're looking for from it, then by all means keep enjoying yourself. They're making money off you and it sounds like you're respectful, there's nothing wrong with indulging in OF content (until you get too far into porn culture that you don't see people as anything other than sex objects)

 

[Pessimist]

Personally, I don't see the appeal, but I'm not about to shame or judge anyone else for it.

I assume you feel more comfortable interacting with these girls than you do interacting with women in the real world, right? What would you say is the main difference? You make the distinction between these interactions and "genuine" ones, so you're presumably aware that any affection you get in return is purely meant to keep you engaged and giving them money, and not something genuine. In that case, why do you feel this kind of unauthentic interaction is worth investing your time, energy, and resources in, over trying to build authentic relationships with people around you?

I'm too insecure in real life, I have social anxiety... it's much better behind a screen.

 

[whywere]

Paying someone, be it a gal or a guy writing for a gal is like going to the strip club. Lots of flash and no substance ever, now that is just what I think about it if I did it is all.

Now if someone finds it to their liking great, me never.

I would rather take the money and buy a gal a Louis Vuitton handbag and have a real date instead of over the net and NO it is NOT about sex, but about walking hand in hand and enjoying the day or evening.

The main aspect is to enjoy life and whatever pleasure(s) that it maybe, great!

Walter

 

[Pessimist]

Paying someone, be it a gal or a guy writing for a gal is like going to the strip club. Lots of flash and no substance ever, now that is just what I think about it if I did it is all.

Now if someone finds it to their liking great, me never.

I would rather take the money and buy a gal a Louis Vuitton handbag and have a real date instead of over the net and NO it is NOT about sex, but about walking hand in hand and enjoying the day or evening.

The main aspect is to enjoy life and whatever pleasure(s) that it maybe, great!

Walter

I get that and I'm not even trying to say I'm doing the right thing. But I really don't think I can date anyone with my social anxiety. It's just so much better behind a screen.

 

[ecstasy]

i assume it kinda feels like a drug for u? do u just do it to talk with someone, do u like supporting them or have another motive?
i've always been curious why people buy this kind of content instead of just going on the hub or smt lmao >.>

 

[slowdance]

As a woman, I don't think there's anything wrong with enjoying OF. No worse or better than enjoying a spa day or dinner at a fancy restaurant or anything else that involves service workers.

I have social anxiety too. It's this horrible cycle where the more I avoid social interaction, the harder it gets which makes me avoid it more. I know that for the first however many tries of interacting with someone I will be completely off-putting to them. I have to throw away the next unknown number of interactions in order to get over my social anxiety. It's hard to find motivation to keep trying

 

[Pessimist]

i assume it kinda feels like a drug for u? do u just do it to talk with someone, do u like supporting them or have another motive?
i've always been curious why people buy this kind of content instead of just going on the hub or smt lmao >.>

I don't like actual porn. I like Onlyfans because it's fun to make connections with the models and pay for custom content. It's a lot more personal when you get to chat with them. I also like supporting them and they like the money.

 

[ecstasy]

I don't like actual porn. I like Onlyfans because it's fun to make connections with the models and pay for custom content. It's a lot more personal when you get to chat with them. I also like supporting them and they like the money.

hmm. i wonder if there's a sfw/friend version of onlyfans, like a diff site. dunno if that would gain much traction in the first place lmfao. i think you just crave the closeness of human connection
don't get me wrong i totally understand the situation ur in, i don't mean to judge or anything
do u think making friends/talking to people online would help? for example discord-- or like is the paying something that makes u happy?

 

[Pessimist]

hmm. i wonder if there's a sfw/friend version of onlyfans, like a diff site. dunno if that would gain much traction in the first place lmfao. i think you just crave the closeness of human connection
don't get me wrong i totally understand the situation ur in, i don't mean to judge or anything
do u think making friends/talking to people online would help? for example discord-- or like is the paying something that makes u happy?

I use Discord and chat with some people there. It helps when I'm feeling a bit lonely, but I wouldn't call them "friends". I don't even know how they look irl xD

 

[ShatteredSerenity]

I like some of the content on OnlyFans, it can be more varied and artistic than other porn sites. But when it comes to the social aspects I'm kind of the opposite, I never got the social media side of OnlyFans and I have zero interest in chatting with the girls. I don't have a clue what to say to them and it would feel incredibly awkward. It's a lot easier for me to chat on dating apps to try to meet women in real life.

 

[whywere]

I get that and I'm not even trying to say I'm doing the right thing. But I really don't think I can date anyone with my social anxiety. It's just so much better behind a screen.

What works for you is GREAT! We only pass through this life once and you are not bothering anyone, and you are doing your own thing, and I find that wonderful.

Lots of well wishes to you and have a great day.

Walter

 

[NumbItAll]

I hate the idea of paying for attention, doesn't feel genuine at all. I would find it really degrading. It is interesting to hear from someone who enjoys this stuff. If it works for you then I don't really see a problem.

 

[2messdup]

I understand it I think. Real life humans are unpredictable, difficult and hurtful. (I'm an autistic woman with BPD, c-ptsd, gad including social anxiety). Only so many times you can be knocked down before you want a safer experience.

 

[Cloud Busting]

As someone who's female bodied (I don't really like being called a lady, as I find the term absolutist, performative and limiting but that's my preference:)

I'll be honest- it's a job. I've had offers, and I've considered it. At the end of the day, I could only make content or cam if I was inebriated. It is essentially becoming a commodity, a piece of meat for sale on the market. I actually think there are strong parallels between factory farming and the sexual objectification of women. It's not that women are animals, more that animals and women are both objectified and commodified for their body parts (I'm not the type of person to compare factory farming to the holocaust fyi. Fuck that noise. Factory farming is cruel, but not genocide and Jews were compared to animals during their persecution. End rant/disclaimer.) I don't know. The Sexual Politics of Meat by Carol J Adams is an interesting book.

A few times during desperation I have had sex for drugs and each time I felt degraded. At the height of my meth use I was soliciting men on Reddit, buying cheap wigs off temu, and I was about ready to make a private snap so I could fund my habit. Plus meth lowered my inhibitions, increased my confidence, and made me so horny. It went against my values but meth was my main priority.

It never happened because I was caught with drugs and paraphernalia in my car at work. I wasn't turned into police (thank god) but underwent drug testing and treatment to prevent getting fired. I relapsed multiple times but I'm clean now. I still think about getting zonked on drugs and selling my body cuz I'd be too high to care but I would really regret it.

It seems you crave connection like the social creatures us humans are, but are afraid of closeness or rejection. There's a disconnect and an anonymity to paying for sex. I don't have a solution. But sometimes I think I'm dumb for not doing sex work cuz guys like you would pay me a shit ton. It just feels gross to me though. Just know that while it sounds cold, most girls see you as a means to an end. A customer. But maybe you're ok with that.

In my ideal world, sex and porn would be a mutually exclusive free exchange, self-expression, and art, rather than for survival or profit. Considering there are lonely people with disabilities though, idk if it will fully go away.

 

[Aergia]

I don't know what's wrong with me.

You're just human. If you didn't desire and seek connection despite your circumstances making that harder than it should be, then there'd be something wrong.

I don't know if any of this is worth reading but I do appreciate hearing from a guy who actually uses these services, since for all the OF/sex-work discourse I've read, ironically I don't think I've actually heard this perspective.

If you want a female perspective on the morality of it, I don't think it's wrong. At least no more than, like, capitalism in general might be. Everyone is selling some part of themselves. Some jobs like mining or construction work even seem like worse ways to sell your body when considering the potential harm incurred while working.

To echo CB I guess the important thing is that you're aware that for the models, it is just a job. Maybe some of them really do like getting attention and building connections but so long as it's a paid service you couldn't possibly know how much of it is real and how much of it is a performance. I've read that men who use OF are often okay with it being a performance because what matters to them is that in the moment it feels real—that it's like immersing oneself in a movie or any kind of porn with a narrative. I don't know if that applies to you but no judgement from here either way.

Anyway, I get it (insomuch as I can get it, being a borderline asexual/aromantic female). Performance or not, you're still talking to an actual woman behind the screen (since you mentioned you interact with smaller creators). That is vastly different from passively consuming porn imo.

 

[Cloud Busting]

You're just human. If you didn't desire and seek connection despite your circumstances making that harder than it should be, then there'd be something wrong.

I don't know if any of this is worth reading but I do appreciate hearing from a guy who actually uses these services, since for all the OF/sex-work discourse I've read, ironically I don't think I've actually heard this perspective.

If you want a female perspective on the morality of it, I don't think it's wrong. At least no more than, like, capitalism in general might be. Everyone is selling some part of themselves. Some jobs like mining or construction work even seem like worse ways to sell your body when considering the potential harm incurred while working.

To echo CB I guess the important thing is that you're aware that for the models, it is just a job. Maybe some of them really do like getting attention and building connections but so long as it's a paid service you couldn't possibly know how much of it is real and how much of it is a performance. I've read that men who use OF are often okay with it being a performance because what matters to them is that in the moment it feels real—that it's like immersing oneself in a movie or any kind of porn with a narrative. I don't know if that applies to you but no judgement from here either way.

Anyway, I get it (insomuch as I can get it, being a borderline asexual/aromantic female). Performance or not, you're still talking to an actual woman behind the screen (since you mentioned you interact with smaller creators). That is vastly different from passively consuming porn imo.

Lovely post and I agree.

I am also of the opinion that the true evil is capitalism and the exploitation of labor. Men sell their strength, time, and sacrifice. Women sell their compassion, care, and sexuality. I do not get the special pleading for sex work. Selling your body to the military or trades is also exploitive, and arguably worse yes. There's danger in both physical and sexual labor trades.

I'm sure some women enjoy it, but it is a job, and as you say, you can't tell if it's a performance. Does the girl really love it and feel sexually gratified, or is it the attention, money, and/or drugs they're after? Hard to know, and I'm curious if that is what appeals to OP. It quells the loneliness without the bullshit that comes with commitment.

Do you think those against sex work are too quick to dehumanize men as predators and women as helpless victims? And do you think hearing the perspectives of men who purchase sex can help solve the problem of loneliness and exploitation that's prevalent today?

 

[Aergia]

I do not get the special pleading for sex work

Me neither. Tbh I think more often than not, it's just puritanism buried under all the rhetoric. But maybe I'm being uncharitable...

Do you think those against sex work are too quick to dehumanize men as predators and women as helpless victims? And do you think hearing the perspectives of men who purchase sex can help solve the problem of loneliness and exploitation that's prevalent today?

Yeah. It's like there are two opposing narratives from those who call themselves feminists--one that says sex workers are empowered and one that says they're victims, but neither view has resonated with me. And I do think hearing the perspectives of men is at least a prerequisite for addressing the problems you mention. I have heard sex-workers say that what many of their clients actually come looking for is emotional connection. I wonder what you think. If sex is, like, the male love language it makes sense that the loneliness and exploitation would be linked.

 

[NonEssential]

I suffer from social anxiety and loneliness, but no amount of fake attention from internet women would ever fill that void. I can kinda see the appeal though.

 

[Cloud Busting]

Me neither. Tbh I think more often than not, it's just puritanism buried under all the rhetoric. But maybe I'm being uncharitable...

Are you familiar with Andrea Dworkin? I've yet to read her work in full, but I've read some of Right Wing Women and summaries of her work and certain excerpts/quotes. She was an interesting woman. She was a former prostitute and experienced two abusive marriages. I imagine trauma deeply colored her work, and I think that's something to consider with certain arguments that are made about porn and sex work.

I do agree that puritanical worldviews infect many of these anti sex-work and porn views though. I raise an eyebrow as some of it comes across as repressive and sexist towards woman, like much of it has parallels to the patriarchal power structures of many religions; Abrahamic faiths especially. Modesty was preached at the Christian churches I attended. Be passive, cover up, wait for the man to deflower and court you. Barf. Radical feminists allied with the Christian right in the 80's over porn, and they're doing it now with the trans issue. Not surprised.

Yeah. It's like there are two opposing narratives from those who call themselves feminists--one that says sex workers are empowered and one that says they're victims, but neither view has resonated with me.

I'm a former liberal feminist and I used to argue sex work can be empowering. Now I'd say that is a moot point. We don't ask if labor trades are empowering for men do we? It doesn't matter if selling one's labor is empowering. What's more important to me is labor rights and creating safer or better fields for workers.

I think a lot of radical feminists miss how capitalism and sexism are intrinsically tied. I also think some of them are gender essentialist and view men as intrinsically tied to power. I'd say I'm an intersectional feminist. I'm not a Marxist feminist cuz I'm not a Marxist but I tend to agree more with their takes.


My view is basically this lol. Like I don't want to call Britney Spears a mere puppet as she deservers agency but was she empowered or exploited? Some circles only want you to argue the former… it's frustrating.

And I do think hearing the perspectives of men is at least a prerequisite for addressing the problems you mention. I have heard sex-workers say that what many of their clients actually come looking for is emotional connection. I wonder what you think. If sex is, like, the male love language it makes sense that the loneliness and exploitation would be linked.

I find many opposed to sex work refuse to listen to either the buyers or sellers, unless it's a sex worker who promotes their narrative.

I have no idea if sex is the love male love language. Interesting. I'd like to hear from others, including op. Clearly there are lonely men trying to bridge the gap, and this black and white view of men being predators and women victims doesn't help. Women argue men should know better, but you could say the same about people who touched hard drugs and became an addict. I don't know how to fulfill the needs of lonely men in a healthy way. Digging deeper into that I think is a better way to solve the problem than prohibition I think tho. Again, open to other perspectives.

 

[Pessimist]

Do you think those against sex work are too quick to dehumanize men as predators and women as helpless victims?

I think it's a stupid narrative that infantilizes women and delegitimizes their job. A lot of the customers are just lonely men.

 

[whywere]

I think it's a stupid narrative that infantilizes women and delegitimizes their job. A lot of the customers are just lonely men.

Totally agree with you 100%. Like I mentioned before, one is NOT hurting and/or bothering anyone and if it works for ALL in volved that is great!

One passes through this existence ONCE.

Like one old saying goes, "be careful pointing fingers, as one maybe be pointing one's finger toward a mirror".

Walter

 

[Aergia]

Are you familiar with Andrea Dworkin? I've yet to read her work in full, but I've read some of Right Wing Women and summaries of her work and certain excerpts/quotes. She was an interesting woman. She was a former prostitute and experienced two abusive marriages. I imagine trauma deeply colored her work, and I think that's something to consider with certain arguments that are made about porn and sex work.

I'm not, but I'll check out her work. I could certainly imagine that a fair amount of anti-SW arguments do come from a place like that and are ultimately geared towards protecting women.

It seems that in most contemporary spaces, arguments like because my god says so don't fly so the puritans have to reason in other ways and yet sometimes that reasoning does come across as being motivated by religiosity.

I'm a former liberal feminist and I used to argue sex work can be empowering. Now I'd say that is a moot point. We don't ask if labor trades are empowering for men do we? It doesn't matter if selling one's labor is empowering. What's more important to me is labor rights and creating safer or better fields for workers.

Completely agree here. I recently(?) found out about Germany's approach to sex work and while I assume it's not perfect, I think it's a relatively good approach.

 

[Pessimist]

I suffer from social anxiety and loneliness, but no amount of fake attention from internet women would ever fill that void. I can kinda see the appeal though.

I wouldn't call it "fake attention", you're talking to real women. You just have to pay for it.

 

[saturn1402]

your post breaks my heart

I was in a relationship with someone who got lost in porn and online lust, and it destroyed everything good in his life. It ruined our relationship, it messed with his self-worth, and in the end, it left him and me empty.

I get why OnlyFans or similar things might feel easier. No expectations, no rejection, no vulnerability. But real intimacy, the kind that actually fulfills you, is not built on fantasy. It is built on presence, effort, and seeing another person fully. The more someone trains their mind to seek out artificial validation, the harder it becomes to experience true love and connection.

I do not say this to judge you. I say it because I have seen the damage this can do, and I would not wish that pain on anyone. You deserve real love, not just temporary pleasure. I hope you will at least think about it.

Also just so you know, it's usually someone else behind OF girls accounts so you are probably receiving messages from random dudes, definitely not those OF models

Take care