princeseadove
wannabe angel
- Mar 4, 2025
- 26
I always had trouble making friends, and even now it's still the same as when I was 12. Just constantly, consistently, having some sort of fall out. Now I know it's because of my autism. But people aren't understanding and what not. In my freshman/sophomore year I was so exhausted trying to make friends, making myself just know, online and irl, but it never works out. I think as I am now, it's kind of my fault? I have a sort of friendgroup, but one person SAed me, and I kept my distance from not only them but everyone. They think I'm a bitch and what not, which I kind of get, but also. I don't do anything but keep quiet. Also childish too? Which is just my autism lmao. i have this one friend, who she had emotional pained me for so long because of her lack of ability to ever accommodate me, while also trying to bring myself out to her. It's complicated, it was like asking somebody out and then ghosting them and then asking them out again, and that person was stupid enough to go along w it 5, 6 times. I dont know. I'm very nauseous. From lots of stress, and exhaustion. Making friends, building relationships, trying so hard, masking, it's all nauseous. I don't feel such a need to attempt after I failed so many times, but I just wish for peace.
