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brokenspirited

brokenspirited

Great Mage
May 20, 2025
569

6,026 views Jul 19, 2017

Just reading a very relatable suicidal in SanctionedSuicide reddit. Please take note that I'm not advocating for suicide but I'm here embracing my negativity for the moment. Lately I'm just so sick of being positive and making this video kinda help me to release the pressure and tension to be always positive all the time.
 
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sweetcreep

sweetcreep

reincarnating as a worm
Jul 21, 2024
207
i think this is one of the only times i've seen someone on youtube talk about this and not try to do any moral grandstanding by painting a community of mentally ill people as evil and manipulative. i feel for him, he seemed to really relate to the post he was reading. i hope things got better for him.
 
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brokenspirited

brokenspirited

Great Mage
May 20, 2025
569
K. G. It's all a twisted, sprawling web of people living for the sake of one another, with none of it actually going anywhere. A self-contained tangle of obligations based on privation and fear of loss, not on actually accomplishing anything. Like the guy said, we only exist to create more people whose purpose is to create more people, ad nauseum. It's absurd. Even if we never go extinct (highly doubtful), it still doesn't amount to anything. Just billions if not trillions of souls ground into dust for the next batch. All "accomplishments" are merely attempts to improve the living conditions of the next generation, but the latter has no reason to exist. In a hundred thousand years, what state of being can mankind possibly occupy that would render the previous milennia of suffering and bloodshed justified? If we ever achieve some god-like utopia in the stars, it will be built on the countless bones of those who are no longer around to enjoy its fruits, by those whose non-existence would deprive the universe of nothing anyway. Maybe I just lack imagination, but in what possible world could humanity's continued existence have any real meaning? The Buddhists are right. The problem isn't the shittiness of this existence, this contingent place in time and space that can conceivably be different—it is the very concept of subjective, conscious, finite existence itself. There is no place for meaning, for purpose, for lasting achievement within this reality.

So don't blame this guy's sister for her selfishness; it's all she can do, the poor wretch. Even if the value of the relationship is completely lopsided. Even if she can't conceive of the fact that no matter how bad her grief gets should her brother die, she will likely never be driven to suicide. That asking her chronically suicidal brother to hold out for her sake is like barging into an ER and demanding to be treated for a broken arm when there's a guy ahead of you who's having a stroke. She won't get it. They never do. And if they do get it, they don't care. At least not enough to get through to them. I know this from experience. If you don't immediately and intuitively see why guilting people (whom you don't depend on for survival yourself) into staying alive is sick and wrong, I doubt such understanding can be instilled, except maybe through some traumatic personal event.
 
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brokenspirited

brokenspirited

Great Mage
May 20, 2025
569
I'm just so sick of life.
 
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brokenspirited

brokenspirited

Great Mage
May 20, 2025
569
For me, this isn't just relatable, this is more than that, it's almost or even completely identical to my thoughts. If I had a penny for every time I've talked about my suicidal thoughts to someone I trusted, usually my family members, hit me with bullshit response of, "If you kill yourself, I'll be lost and sad." Its fucked up that at this point, the core of every other average answer people give to people who are suicidal essentially boils down to "You're obligated to live through life, even if it's nothing but constant suffering and unanswered questions about existence, because if you kill yourself, you're a weak and selfish person who can't handle life and doesn't care about how others will react to your death, and how your wasting your life that's filled with happiness that seems to never come."
 
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