feeling fake cause i wouldnt be able to ctb but feel like it every time

[sbem]

everytime i slip into suicidal thoughts/depression i think about committing but everytime its like i already now im not gonna do it because i'm attached to some material things in life, but relationships, especially with my family make me think about ctb or my worthlessness in the world, but i would still know that ill wake up the next morning and pretend nothing happened
and i feel like shit for that and i compensate with selfharm

 

[mysticatedwine]

you can't force it, having things to live for when you're suicidal isn't a bad thing, and it shouldn't be something to feel ashamed or worthless over. just because you won't commit suicide doesn't mean your suicidal thoughts are fake

i hope you manage to find some peace