I have always felt like I wanted to ctb, but I've also felt a sense of uncertainty if I truly wanted to go or not. I've been like this for years. Now my country is trying to prohibit the free commercialization of SN. It will probably be out of my reach (except for illegal means) in 6 months. I don't feel certain that I want to kill myself, but SN seems like the only "easy" way out. I feel forced to kill myself now because of the SN illegalization. A part of me tells me that this is not right. I shouldn't feel forced to go because methods might become scarce. But, what if I can't kill myself in the future?
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easypeasy
The.only.white.sheep
- Jul 1, 2024
- 217
Hi there,
I'm not sure about your situation but if you have any doubt you don't want to ctb…..throw all of your energy, intention and focus into living. Thinking about ending it everyday but not being all-in is very stressful and draining and inefficient of your time and energy that could be focused on improving your chances of wanting to live.
Pick a lane…don't feel pressured to buy SN..but if you do…there's also no pressure to use it. If it's consuming your thoughts, I'd do whatever is needed to decide on a ctb method…and once you have that…..then stop thinking about it all together and give yourself and your life a chance. I think it could help relieve pressure that you may not even be aware you're under.
Managing things in a practical fashion will free you from this indecisiveness and the emotional aspect.
Best of luck x
I'm not sure about your situation but if you have any doubt you don't want to ctb…..throw all of your energy, intention and focus into living. Thinking about ending it everyday but not being all-in is very stressful and draining and inefficient of your time and energy that could be focused on improving your chances of wanting to live.
Pick a lane…don't feel pressured to buy SN..but if you do…there's also no pressure to use it. If it's consuming your thoughts, I'd do whatever is needed to decide on a ctb method…and once you have that…..then stop thinking about it all together and give yourself and your life a chance. I think it could help relieve pressure that you may not even be aware you're under.
Managing things in a practical fashion will free you from this indecisiveness and the emotional aspect.
Best of luck x
You can prepare your method and keep it safe at home. You don't have to kys just bc you have your method ready at home.
That's what I would do as long as you can buy the things you need.
That's what I would do as long as you can buy the things you need.
Thanks for the response. I Thought about doing that but doesn't SN decay over time ?
It does but the process is very slow and if you store it airtight, dry and cool it can't react with oxygen (that's what's makes it turn into nitrate slowly over time). You can always test it and maybe you don't need it at all. But imo it's still better to have a method at hand than to be sorry later.
Stability of SN and N
I'd like to preface this to hopefully help people not make rash decisions due to the fear that their suicide method will go "bad" and they feel forced to take it before they truly want to. Freedom of choice means everything. There is a lot of misconception on here about how long both of these...
sanctioned-suicide.net
