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Slate128

Slate128

Member
May 5, 2019
84
Just thinking about the nerves, worries, pains and how they're all ending soon. It's more relief than anything. I reckon there's a few people on this forum that might benefit from viewing ctb this way.

I'm driving 100km to where I'll be ctb. It's not the most scenic part of the country (NZ) but I'm looking forward to driving for an hour and a bit, playing my favourite songs... the weather forecast for the day of looks pretty good, so it'll be an easy cruise and what good views I do get will be that much better.

Why not make a day of it? Maybe I should make some snacks, make it a real road trip. If I wanted to do it at home, I'd put on a Star Wars movie and eat ice cream before hanging myself. If I did it in my town, I'd go to the beach one last time. Suicide doesn't have to be all doom and gloom, I just want to die happy.

Apologies for the thought bomb. Just felt good about things for the first time in a while.
 
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not_a_robot

not_a_robot

"i hope the leaving is joyful, & never to return"
May 30, 2019
2,121
lol I hope it all goes well.
When I try to give myself one last happy day, I always end up giving myself one more stupid reason to hang on a little longer.
"Legal weed is fucking AMAZING, how can I leave now???"
 
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Soul

Soul

gate gate paragate parasamgate bodhi svaha
Apr 12, 2019
4,704
@Slate128, enjoy your time! I always feel better when I know I've got an exit close at hand. Having a choice is a wonderful thing.

So I'm sorry your life hasn't always felt this way to you, and I hope the decisions you make going forward will have the best possible outcomes for you. Journey well

 
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