N
none666
Student
- Oct 15, 2018
- 195
I'm not sure if what I just experienced was a panic attack or momentary mental break but I really don't know what's going on
I was trying to get ready for bed when my mind started thinking about what I'd be doing tomorrow, and my mind fucking recoiled from that thought and I immediately curled up in a ball on my bed and tried to get smaller and smaller while feeling like I was physically under attack, and that i had to close my eyes and get smaller while flinching and shaking and recoiling. My breathing got faster and I felt like i was crying without tears.
Eventually my breathing slowed and I thought it had passed, so I went to sh to try to relax and afterwards I tried to set my alarm but that set me off worse than before. It felt like my right arm wasn't under my control and that it was trying to hurt me or something, I'm not entirely sure. I tried to curl up and hide again but something snapped in me and i said "I'm going to fucking kill myself" and I grabbed a rope, wrapped it around my neck, and went into my bathroom but stopped just before tying the rope to anything else. My breathing slowed again, I put the rope away, and I lied down in front of my bed for about 15 minutes to try to dissociate and calm down.
Now I'm here typing this out, and I really just want to know if that was a panic attack, mental break, or what. I've experienced similar but weaker versions before that usually stop around getting smaller and feeling attacked, but I'm honestly scared of myself now and what happened. Thanks to anyone who reads this mess and helps out.
I was trying to get ready for bed when my mind started thinking about what I'd be doing tomorrow, and my mind fucking recoiled from that thought and I immediately curled up in a ball on my bed and tried to get smaller and smaller while feeling like I was physically under attack, and that i had to close my eyes and get smaller while flinching and shaking and recoiling. My breathing got faster and I felt like i was crying without tears.
Eventually my breathing slowed and I thought it had passed, so I went to sh to try to relax and afterwards I tried to set my alarm but that set me off worse than before. It felt like my right arm wasn't under my control and that it was trying to hurt me or something, I'm not entirely sure. I tried to curl up and hide again but something snapped in me and i said "I'm going to fucking kill myself" and I grabbed a rope, wrapped it around my neck, and went into my bathroom but stopped just before tying the rope to anything else. My breathing slowed again, I put the rope away, and I lied down in front of my bed for about 15 minutes to try to dissociate and calm down.
Now I'm here typing this out, and I really just want to know if that was a panic attack, mental break, or what. I've experienced similar but weaker versions before that usually stop around getting smaller and feeling attacked, but I'm honestly scared of myself now and what happened. Thanks to anyone who reads this mess and helps out.