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iwashere

iwashere

Member
Jun 2, 2025
40
well this last week i've been begging for something, ANYTHING to trigger me to finally get the balls to ctb. something changed yesterday and im still feeling like this this morning. it's surreal. before i drove up i prepared a pot of charcoal which is in my car at the moment. i'll probably do it tonight if not sometime this week. i started writing my note this morning. cannot sleep haha but strangely so bliss. i think this is it. sorry for the long post
 
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saturno13

saturno13

Member
Apr 13, 2025
29
I know that feeling. I hope you find the peace you're looking for. 🕊️
 
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T

tiredash

Banned
Dec 5, 2024
151
I envy you... I hope you can rest...
 
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kunikuzushi

kunikuzushi

sause
Jan 24, 2023
379
it sounds very peaceful and I hope everything goes well for you. Wish you the best
 
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Praestat_Mori

Mori praestat, quam haec pati!
May 21, 2023
12,794
I hope you find peace! Good luck!

I also hope you calculated the amount of charcoal according to the volume of air in your car to avoid failure and possible brain damage.
 
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iwashere

iwashere

Member
Jun 2, 2025
40
I hope you find peace! Good luck!

I also hope you calculated the amount of charcoal according to the volume of air in your car to avoid failure and possible brain damage.

tbh no i haven't, i drive a two seater mini cooper and i grabbed a large cooking pot and i filled it to the brim with kingsman charcoal. lol i never passed algebra 2 so i don't think im going to get into the calculations
 
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cemeteryismyhome

cemeteryismyhome

Wizard
Mar 15, 2025
669
Exhilarating, strangely unique, bliss.
 
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P

Praestat_Mori

Mori praestat, quam haec pati!
May 21, 2023
12,794
tbh no i haven't, i drive a two seater mini cooper and i grabbed a large cooking pot and i filled it to the brim with kingsman charcoal. lol i never passed algebra 2 so i don't think im going to get into the calculations
Well, with this method you should bc if there's not enough CO it can go horribly wrong and you might end up as veggie.

 
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darksouls

darksouls

Wizard
May 10, 2025
667
good luck
hope everything goes well for you
and you find the peace you desire ❤️‍🩹
 
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getoutgirl

getoutgirl

<3
Mar 17, 2025
391
Hi, like others have said here you REALLY should plan this propperly if you intend to do it. If you haven't, that's not good. Sorry it isn't easier but you can end up regretting it big time if it goes wrong.
As for everything else I'm sorry you are even at that point. I get just waiting for something for you to break down even further. I lived waiting for that. Don't know what happened, hope it wasn't too awful for you.
There are moments when I am very suicidal and I feel that bliss too, some last longer. Don't know your situation, if this one seems final to you and not a momentary impulse, then I wish you the best. You can walk back if you want at any point too and that'd be ok, but whatever you do I hope you have some peace and calm today regardless. Lots of hugs <3
 
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FuneralCry

FuneralCry

Just wanting some peace
Sep 24, 2020
43,476
I wish you the best, I hope you find the relief you search for.
 
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iwashere

iwashere

Member
Jun 2, 2025
40
thank you everybody for your kind words and advice. i will look more into properly supplying my charcoal to ensure it goes smoothly
 
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