FIRST EVER SN DOCUMENTATION

[Lotus1818]

Yes thank you, I did get to the post where she mentioned she was taking a break.Very understandable.Not to impose with my curiosity, it killed the cat for sure.

No it's fine. She was breathing very heavily. So I saw and heard her last breath. Def being unconscious

 

[Ghost2211]

I wanted to share with you guys my experience with apoxia and oxygen deprivation. I recently had therapeutic rhinoplasty to fix my ridiculous tiny nose, and yes it was so little I couldn't breathe. Breathing through one's mouth does not deliver enough oxygen to the body long-term. in addition to this I have pretty severe asthma, so acute respiratory distress is not foreign to me either.

I can tell you from what I read in the description of her passing she very likely did not actually feel that much pain. A lot of what is described here or natural processes the body goes through during respiratory distress, but the other side of that coin is the reduce oxygen to the brain will soften one's perception of reality. in times that I have been in severe respiratory distress and others have had to deliver a rescue inhaler for me I had very little awareness of the fact that I was breathing rapidly, shallow, and making grunting noises. The grunting and groaning is the body's way of trying to clear the air ways to maximize airflow.

in times that I have been in respiratory distress I had awareness of my breathing, but it was not scary. My extremities would become blue, and I would become very faint and dizzy. sometimes I've lost awareness or memory of the situation. I can say though that anoxia does not feel like suffocation, strangulation, or airway obstruction (choking). Your body still thinks it can breathe so you don't have the panic of inability to move oxygen. Had nobody helped me I likely would have just sat there observing the heaviness and shallowness of my breathing until I lost consciousness with no distress.

i'm honestly not sure if it's the fact that breathing issues have been a thing for me for a long time that causes me to have no fear of them but quite frankly it doesn't hurt and it's not scary it is nothing like suffocation. You just get dizzy and tired and the world around you seems to fade away. Your body does experience physical distress in the sense that it tries to forcefully deliver more oxygen but as I said I have never found this process to be painful or scary. Reading this post has actually made me decide to use SN as my method.

Lotus, you are truly a selfless and brave person to have fulfilled her last wishes, as well as delivered vital information to everyone. I know what it's like to watch someone die if you need someone to talk to please feel free to talk to me. she did an amazing kindness to everyone in this group to share an experience that would otherwise be speculation. I hope she has found the piece she was seeking.

 

[Lotus1818]

I wanted to share with you guys my experience with apoxia and oxygen deprivation. I recently had therapeutic rhinoplasty to fix my ridiculous tiny nose, and yes it was so little I couldn't breathe. Breathing through one's mouth does not deliver enough oxygen to the body long-term. in addition to this I have pretty severe asthma, so acute respiratory distress is not foreign to me either.

I can tell you from what I read in the description of her passing she very likely did not actually feel that much pain. A lot of what is described here or natural processes the body goes through during respiratory distress, but the other side of that coin is the reduce oxygen to the brain will soften one's perception of reality. in times that I have been in severe respiratory distress and others have had to deliver a rescue inhaler for me I had very little awareness of the fact that I was breathing rapidly, shallow, and making grunting noises. The grunting and groaning is the body's way of trying to clear the air ways to maximize airflow.

in times that I have been in respiratory distress I had awareness of my breathing, but it was not scary. My extremities would become blue, and I would become very faint and dizzy. sometimes I've lost awareness or memory of the situation. I can say though that anoxia does not feel like suffocation, strangulation, or airway obstruction (choking). Your body still thinks it can breathe so you don't have the panic of inability to move oxygen. Had nobody helped me I likely would have just sat there observing the heaviness and shallowness of my breathing until I lost consciousness with no distress.

i'm honestly not sure if it's the fact that breathing issues have been a thing for me for a long time that causes me to have no fear of them but quite frankly it doesn't hurt and it's not scary it is nothing like suffocation. You just get dizzy and tired and the world around you seems to fade away. Your body does experience physical distress in the sense that it tries to forcefully deliver more oxygen but as I said I have never found this process to be painful or scary. Reading this post has actually made me decide to use SN as my method.

Lotus, you are truly a selfless and brave person to have fulfilled her last wishes, as well as delivered vital information to everyone. I know what it's like to watch someone die if you need someone to talk to please feel free to talk to me. she did an amazing kindness to everyone in this group to share an experience that would otherwise be speculation. I hope she has found the piece she was seeking.

Thank you for this post. I hope it will give some people more comfort

 

[LetItBleed]

I've read this multiple times and I'm sure it will bring comfort to a lof of people. Thanks a lot for what you've done.

 

[animatriste]

Thanks for this detailed documentation. We sincerely thank you. It must not have been simple. Regarding suffering with this method: we are all looking for certainties for death that do not exist. We are all worried about suffering. We will never know. Every death case has a story that will never be told. We will never know how she felt while she died. From what is known the N seems to be the most peaceful solution. Two years ago I got powdered N and was saved from not taking antiemetics. So my family discovered the N and threw it away. Now it is difficult to procure. But not impossible. Let us remember, after this important discussion, that death (as indeed life) is a suffering that has as its term a single word: END

 

[littlelady774]

Thank you so much for documenting this. It was very brave of both of you.

as for the "gasping for air" and shortness of breath, this is common for people with anemia. I know we're talking about methemoglobinemia in this context, but the feeling would probably be very similar to anemia

 

[SpaceForGrace]

I wanted to share with you guys my experience with apoxia and oxygen deprivation. I recently had therapeutic rhinoplasty to fix my ridiculous tiny nose, and yes it was so little I couldn't breathe. Breathing through one's mouth does not deliver enough oxygen to the body long-term. in addition to this I have pretty severe asthma, so acute respiratory distress is not foreign to me either.

I can tell you from what I read in the description of her passing she very likely did not actually feel that much pain. A lot of what is described here or natural processes the body goes through during respiratory distress, but the other side of that coin is the reduce oxygen to the brain will soften one's perception of reality. in times that I have been in severe respiratory distress and others have had to deliver a rescue inhaler for me I had very little awareness of the fact that I was breathing rapidly, shallow, and making grunting noises. The grunting and groaning is the body's way of trying to clear the air ways to maximize airflow.

in times that I have been in respiratory distress I had awareness of my breathing, but it was not scary. My extremities would become blue, and I would become very faint and dizzy. sometimes I've lost awareness or memory of the situation. I can say though that anoxia does not feel like suffocation, strangulation, or airway obstruction (choking). Your body still thinks it can breathe so you don't have the panic of inability to move oxygen. Had nobody helped me I likely would have just sat there observing the heaviness and shallowness of my breathing until I lost consciousness with no distress.

i'm honestly not sure if it's the fact that breathing issues have been a thing for me for a long time that causes me to have no fear of them but quite frankly it doesn't hurt and it's not scary it is nothing like suffocation. You just get dizzy and tired and the world around you seems to fade away. Your body does experience physical distress in the sense that it tries to forcefully deliver more oxygen but as I said I have never found this process to be painful or scary. Reading this post has actually made me decide to use SN as my method.

Lotus, you are truly a selfless and brave person to have fulfilled her last wishes, as well as delivered vital information to everyone. I know what it's like to watch someone die if you need someone to talk to please feel free to talk to me. she did an amazing kindness to everyone in this group to share an experience that would otherwise be speculation. I hope she has found the piece she was seeking.

Reading about your experience has given me, and I am sure a lot of people here, comfort and strength. Thank you for sharing. Sending warm thoughts your way.

And thank you again @Lotus1818 & Mooni for your selflessness, generosity and courage. I can only be inspired to rise up when called to do the same.

 

[Untitled]

@Lotus1818, I just want to thank you for making this thread.
This is one of the most helpful threads I've encountered here (and that says something because there are so many helpful threads).

 

[SuicideByBelt]

Did she take any pills? How much SN did she use?

 

[cosmicpixiedust]

Did she take any pills? How much SN did she use?

https://sanctioned-suicide.net/threads/fly-me-to-the-moon-goodbye-my-love.29550/

 

[RedShoes]

It's a shame I never met her or spoke to her; we're really similar in a lot of ways, including ages and background. Like, I can't leave the house for months anymore, my partner is supportive of me on his terms i.e. living in a place where I have no family or friends, I've since lost all of my family and friends. Anyway, this is good to know. Like, really, really useful. Thanks.

 

[SuicideByBelt]

I have Sodium Nitrite and Meto (Antiemetic). Can I CTB without painkillers or antacid?

 

[HadEnough1974]

I'm just sad. Know she found peace & you were comfort, but still it's hard... brave of you.

You posted so soon. I understand it gives both of you some peace. I hope you are taking care of yourself. How are you doing?

If it's any comfort I think she passed away rather peacefully Not aware of last moments. People fainting often open/close their eyes, not seizure .. Many involuntary things. Groans do not sound alarming noise (I think N got a groan too). Sedatives could be useful. As mentioned gasps-snoring are unlikely to be choking-suffocation or pain. You both did well.

Even prisoners who are executed "professionally" by lethal injection make some grunting, moaning sounds. It's well documented and yes, known as the "death rattle". Lotus, that was brave of you, take care of yourself.

 

[Cherrybreeze]

Thank you so much for documenting this. It was very brave of both of you.

as for the "gasping for air" and shortness of breath, this is common for people with anemia. I know we're talking about methemoglobinemia in this context, but the feeling would probably be very similar to anemia

Thank you so much for documenting this. It was very brave of both of you.

as for the "gasping for air" and shortness of breath, this is common for people with anemia. I know we're talking about methemoglobinemia in this context, but the feeling would probably be very similar to anemia

I apologize if this is an odd first post, I've been lurking and reading for a very short time (albeit reading a lot) but this, I can chime in on.

I suffer from chronic anemic hypoxia. I regularly lose excessive amounts of blood (gyn-related) and my hemoglobin is always around 7. When I was diagnosed, it was 5.8 (normal for women is 12-16). My lips will turn blue and I'll be surprised by it, it's not something I "feel" coming on. I routinely breathe quite heavily but only notice if I'm exerting myself (significant exercise, running, etc). It's believed I've had significantly low hemoglobin for years, and critically low for months before it was finally diagnosed. So no - the gasping for air in this case likely wasn't truly a struggle, and will occur after consciousness is lost.

I've worked in healthcare many years, countless hospice patients included. A person is 100% unaware by the time agonal breathing occurs. Even prior to that, with gasping or heavy breathing, there are usually two reflexes: hand to the chest, and sitting up. Nothing about SN that I can see "paralyzes" you while you are still alert and aware. A lack of even attempting these acts indicates strongly (I won't say 100%, but I'm thinking it) that she was not conscious nor aware of the breathing.

I'm only learning and choosing SN in the recent days, and this makes me much more comfortable with the idea.

As far as noises go, if someone WERE to hear (neighbor, person in the next hotel room, etc), by the time they think they hear something, and enough to become concerned that an emergency is at hand, they still need to decide to summon help and that help has to arrive. By nature, people often tend to want to mind their own business. I don't think noise is a dealbreaker to completing, given the short timeframe from drinking until last breath.

I'm sorry if this sounds too "clinical," I know a lot of emotions are attached to these threads, and I obviously don't know anyone well enough to be able to say much of anything meaningful in that regard. :( I tend to compartmentalize medical facts from emotions, so I'm trying to just speak in that regard at the moment, in the hope of quelling some of the fears I've seen expressed that I honestly believe aren't necessary. I hope it helps.

 

[Skyview]

I apologize if this is an odd first post, I've been lurking and reading for a very short time (albeit reading a lot) but this, I can chime in on.

I suffer from chronic anemic hypoxia. I regularly lose excessive amounts of blood (gyn-related) and my hemoglobin is always around 7. When I was diagnosed, it was 5.8 (normal for women is 12-16). My lips will turn blue and I'll be surprised by it, it's not something I "feel" coming on. I routinely breathe quite heavily but only notice if I'm exerting myself (significant exercise, running, etc). It's believed I've had significantly low hemoglobin for years, and critically low for months before it was finally diagnosed. So no - the gasping for air in this case likely wasn't truly a struggle, and will occur after consciousness is lost.

I've worked in healthcare many years, countless hospice patients included. A person is 100% unaware by the time agonal breathing occurs. Even prior to that, with gasping or heavy breathing, there are usually two reflexes: hand to the chest, and sitting up. Nothing about SN that I can see "paralyzes" you while you are still alert and aware. A lack of even attempting these acts indicates strongly (I won't say 100%, but I'm thinking it) that she was not conscious nor aware of the breathing.

I'm only learning and choosing SN in the recent days, and this makes me much more comfortable with the idea.

As far as noises go, if someone WERE to hear (neighbor, person in the next hotel room, etc), by the time they think they hear something, and enough to become concerned that an emergency is at hand, they still need to decide to summon help and that help has to arrive. By nature, people often tend to want to mind their own business. I don't think noise is a dealbreaker to completing, given the short timeframe from drinking until last breath.

I'm sorry if this sounds too "clinical," I know a lot of emotions are attached to these threads, and I obviously don't know anyone well enough to be able to say much of anything meaningful in that regard. :( I tend to compartmentalize medical facts from emotions, so I'm trying to just speak in that regard at the moment, in the hope of quelling some of the fears I've seen expressed that I honestly believe aren't necessary. I hope it helps.

Thanks for your valuable knowledge, it most certainly will allay some fears that some of our members have , you are a great addition to this forum.

 

[Cherrybreeze]

Thanks for your valuable knowledge, it most certainly will allay some fears that some of our members have , you are a great addition to this forum.

Thank you for saying that. I've been unsure whether to say anything at all, at any point, either about myself or in response to something else. Medical topics, I can't help myself, though. And it concerned me a bit to see anyone being turned off of SN based on potentially inaccurate assumptions and conclusions. I'm not encouraging nor discouraging it, I just want people to understand what they're hearing.

What I said, is it 100% foolproof? No one can know that, of course. I wish I could say with certainty that what SOUNDS like suffering isn't necessarily so, at all. I feel strongly that it was not, however, based on the info given.

"Unconscious" doesn't at all equate to "appears to be asleep." I got the impression a little bit from some responses that that may be the expectation. Even before that, the "fuck, fuck, fuck" could've been for SO many reasons. I drop f-bombs as casual as can be. Could it have been discomfort? Possibly. Could've been seeing an apparition. Could've been relief. It's important not to create context just because you want it in it's entirety, though I understand the motivation to do so.

 

[elacnt]

Thank you so much for sharing this!
SN is gonna be my CTB method and this gave me a lot of clarity about it and what to expect.

Also after reading this I'm starting to consider asking my friend to document and monitor it for me during a video call.

 

[Deleted member 14386]

I cried like a baby reading this thread, even though I never knew her (I joined after) I can still see a lot of her posts in my research.

Thank you so much for sharing this!
SN is gonna be my CTB method and this gave me a lot of clarity about it and what to expect.

Also after reading this I'm starting to consider asking my friend to document and monitor it for me during a video call.

I was thinking a similar thing, to maybe set a stream up or at least record the last parts and make sure it's uploaded somewhere safe

 

[brokerofsecrets]

[opening post]

holy shit man are you okay? you've just watched someone CTB, how does that make you feel? How did you feel during the call? I can understand the positivity in threads and wishing people a safe journey but witnessing it firsthand, that's got to be a big burden to carry. Hope you're doing well.

 

[Skyview]

Thank you for saying that. I've been unsure whether to say anything at all, at any point, either about myself or in response to something else. Medical topics, I can't help myself, though. And it concerned me a bit to see anyone being turned off of SN based on potentially inaccurate assumptions and conclusions. I'm not encouraging nor discouraging it, I just want people to understand what they're hearing.

What I said, is it 100% foolproof? No one can know that, of course. I wish I could say with certainty that what SOUNDS like suffering isn't necessarily so, at all. I feel strongly that it was not, however, based on the info given.

"Unconscious" doesn't at all equate to "appears to be asleep." I got the impression a little bit from some responses that that may be the expectation. Even before that, the "fuck, fuck, fuck" could've been for SO many reasons. I drop f-bombs as casual as can be. Could it have been discomfort? Possibly. Could've been seeing an apparition. Could've been relief. It's important not to create context just because you want it in it's entirety, though I understand the motivation to do so.

There is some uncertainty as to when unconsciousness occurs and also to the time of death , acknowledging that each person may have different experiences, what we do know is that a sufficient time frame is required for completion .
There are those who gather the ingredients and successfully ctb without fuss albeit anxiety is always a factor , overcoming SI is nigh on impossible if someone is not 100% committed to go through with it .
If someone is fearful of ingesting SN because of @Moonicide and @Lotus1818 documentation then I would suggest they look for an alternative method . SN as we know is not the magical elixir and there may be some discomfort, @Moonicide stated discomfort/ pain on a level of 3.5/10 which is acceptable for some and not so for others .
Are those who continually dissect each and every symptom of SN ready to ctb , I cannot answer that though I do understand their concerns and yes it is possible that some of the documentation is taken out of context .
The mysterious "fuck, fuck, fuck ," remains as such and people will draw their own conclusions leaning towards discomfort which have been stated in some posts yet that might not be the case as you have pointed out alternatives .
Researching the method is paramount to successful ctb , at the end of the day we make a decision as to wether SN is the one we use if we cannot acquire Nembutal . One man's meat is another man's poison or in the pc world , one person's meat is another person's poison.

 

[voyager]

I'm sorry if this sounds too "clinical," I know a lot of emotions are attached to these threads, and I obviously don't know anyone well enough to be able to say much of anything meaningful in that regard. :( I tend to compartmentalize medical facts from emotions, so I'm trying to just speak in that regard at the moment, in the hope of quelling some of the fears I've seen expressed that I honestly believe aren't necessary. I hope it helps.

It does help, and don't worry about it. Can't speak for everyone, but I like people who are "clinical" and appreciate your input. It's appropriate in a forum like this, because no matter how beautiful this community is or how much comfort we take from here, it still comes down to some very cold truths and facts. We are indeed talking about dying here, so there's no point in sugar coating it or ignoring any side of an argument. It's in our best interest to keep an open mind.

To me the "fuck, fuck, fuck" refers to some sort of pain or maybe realisation of the act itself, but that's just my interpretation. I feel, or maybe want to believe, that if one was suffocating one would be unable to repeat the same word three times over without it being convoluted if that makes sense. Also, why not say "help" if conscious or desperate? After all she knew she was being watched. But only Moonie knows the truth, and the only way to find out is by doing it ourselves, imho.

SN isn't my prime method for reasons outlined in the "SN fear" thread below, but as mentioned on page one here, it doesn't sound so bad, imho.

https://sanctioned-suicide.net/threads/sn-fear.31604/

 

[Cherrybreeze]

PS: Cherrybreeze, made a very stupid error above, I wrote "It does", I meant it "helps", referring to your last line, not it's clinical or cold. Sorry, will delete this post once you've seen it.

You're fine, I understand what you meant based on the rest of your post. No worries.

 

[deck of cards]

I wish @Moonicide peace and end up where she wants.
@Lotus1818 were the noises she made loud? I'm going for the sn method but I live with my parents, their room is just right next to mine. And all our rooms are not soundproof. I'm afraid if there's loud noises during the dying process it would alert them.

 

[RareDisease]

I wish @Moonicide peace and end up where she wants.
@Lotus1818 were the noises she made loud? I'm going for the sn method but I live with my parents, their room is just right next to mine. And all our rooms are not soundproof. I'm afraid if there's loud noises during the dying process it would alert them.

You could use a white noise machine, that helps dampen the noise from your room, you could say that it helps you sleep. If you use it a time before you ctb, no one will be suspicious hearing the white noise sound.
Maybe you could try it out beforehand: play music in your room and turn on the white noise generator, and close the door, and listen from another room how effective it is.

Yeah, no one should suffer, when the leave, which should be possible in 2020.
It made me sad, reading, that she said "fuck, ..", I instantly thought she might be in pain, but it could have been something else, I hope.

The burning in throat and mouth could be alleviated with a lidocaine spray, that numbs the skin in this area and maybe help to prevent to some degree the vomiting reflex.

 

[Jumper Geo]

.

Believe me if your making loud groaning noises in a hotel room, I promise you know one will interrupt you especially if you throw in a few loud oh God, yes baby, lol

 

[Tasdevil]

I am going to play music when I CTB with SN for two reasons music will hopefully keep me calm and also to stop being heard if I was to vomit I doubt that grunting and moaning sounds would be loud enough to wake my housemate who is actually quite deaf Still don't want to risk being heard.

 

[Esc9434]

Wow at this thread...

Check out my thread on an one for two alternative to an anti-emetic and antacid.

https://sanctioned-suicide.net/thre...e-antiemetic-and-antacid-for-sn-method.33484/

Could someone get touch in with the PPH people?

 

[AcornUnderground]

This is a good review. The peaceful pill people were looking for documented cases for their research. I would encourage you to give it to them, too.

 

[FadingAway]

Bump

A lot of good info in this thread

 

[rosedavinci]

Dear everyone,

This thread will be about the documentation of the cbt of user @Moonicide (29 years old) Who took her life on Jan 12th at 00:30 EST.

She was a dear friend of mine that I met on this forum. She loved this forum and it's users. The forum helped her allot during her last days. And the support she got during her goodbye thread was almost overwhelming for her. It made her really happy. Her last wish was to document her death to thank everyone on the forum and to educate people who are uncertain about this method. As far as we know nobody has done a full documentation about this method. I will go through everything that I saw and give my honest opinion about the method.

I will cover everything before she took the sn and after taking the sn. After the documentation I will do a Q and A and do some afterthoughts. If anyone has a question please feel free to write me a pm or leave a comment here. I will try to reply to as many people as possible. But I will also be taking a break from this forum after witnessing all this.

Moonie's goodbye thread
Please read through her goodbye thread to get all the information needed about the medicine she took and how her regime looked like. Also please check Stan's Guide On SN If you have any questions about this method.

Before taking the SN
00:06 "I'm feeling pretty okay. Hungry as fuck. Stomach is making noises. A little bit drowsy. Perhaps because of the not sleep. But maybe because of the pills. But i'm calm."

00:10 Started making the sn drink. Moonie is suprised how much a table spoon (+/-25gram) is.

00:15 "Doesn't smell like anything." used luke warm water. Clear white liquid. I dont see any clumps.

00:17 The liquid started to get more clear and clear

00:21 "I'm feeling okay and calm. I'm looking at the forum."

After taking the SN
00:31 Moonie took SN in a chair with a straw "oh fuck its really bad"
"it tastes like really salty seawater. It's burning my thoat." She says the straw helps allot.

00:32 Making SN dosage 2. And she took a mint to mask the taste of the SN.

00:33 Moonie says her throat still burns. And gives it a 3.5/10 on the pain scale. "not really that bad." She says her stomach burns.

00:34 "i need to lay down."

00:35 She says her heart is beating fast. Throat burns It's salty. Getting really warm. She says there is no pain. But I feel heavy stomach burns.

00:36 Moonie puked once (I couldnt see how much. But she puked 2 times)

00:37 Second puke. And she is breathing very heavy. Almost trying to gasp for air.

00:38 She took her headset off. I couldnt talk to her anymore. But I could still listen to her.

00:39 Her eyes are closed and she is breathing very heavy.

00:40 Breathing slowes down. laying on her side

00:41 She coughs a bit and says fuck 3 times in a low voice. (perhaps theres some pain/ discomfort?) (this could also be the last time she was consious)

00:42 Really slow breathing. Almost looks like normal breathing

00:43 Still consious, legs spasms. She makes some grunting sounds.

00:44 eyes are open for a brief second (this could perhaps be a possible small seizure?) she closed her eyes immediately after that though.

00:45 Hands on stomach, Groans. load groans sounds like snoring. kinda like chocking

00:46 throws up a little bit. while laying on her stomach.

00:47 trying to gasp for air. making loud snoring sounds.

00:48 less snoring / gapsing for air sounds.

00:49 I think she's asleep

00:50 Def sleeping.

00:52 still same breathing. It is getting slower though

00:55 breathing becomes really slow

00:56 even slower

00:58 last breath

01:05 nothing changed. shes still laying
01:15 nothing changed. shes still laying
01:30 nothing changed. shes still laying
01:40 nothing changed. shes still laying
01:44 nothing changed. shes still laying. closed videocall.

Q And A

Was this method peacefull?
First what is peacefull? Is it immediately falling asleep and not moving? If we compare this to N then this method is partially peacefull In my opinion. There was allot of groaning and gasping for air. However in the grand scheme of things. This method is quick and she was laying on her bed very beautifully. Completely at peace. Again this is different for everyone. So don't think this documentation is how it is for everyone. But the reason why people choose this method is because of how "easy" it is to get all the stuff to CTB. And because of how cheap it is. To me it's stil strange that you can puchase this stuff online.

Did it look painfull?
During her time being consious she told me it wasn't really painfull. Her throat burned and she felt like her stomach was really heavy. But it wasn't unbearable pain or anything. I think you could compare it to feeling sick in the stomach? Ofcourse there's some pain. But overall its not unbearable.

How long did it take untill she was unconsious?
If I look at my notes. She took the SN at 00:31 and at 00:41 she was still consious and saying "fuck fuck fuck" in a really low voice. To me it sounded like she said this because there was some slight discomfort. And at 00:50 I was sure she was unconsious. So for her it took around 10-20 min untill she was unconsious.

Did it look like she was suffering?
I'm gonna be honest here. At first glance it did look she was suffering. There was allot of groaning and load noises. Allot of gasping for air. It kinda looked liked she was chocking. But this was very brief. It mostly looked like she was unconsious and her body was desperatly trying to get more air in her system. Which makes sense if you know how this method works. Ofcourse your body will try to get more air by inhaling very heavily. But this obviously does not work because the SN is depriving your body of oxygen

One thing I am unsure of is was she consious during all this? In general I was really suprised how fast this stuff worked. Only a few min after taking the SN she needed to lay down. And she def looked very peacefull after about 15-20min. i am sure she was consious up untill 00:41. So that means it took about 10-20min for her to fall unconsious.

Edit: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Death_rattle A forum user noted that this was what i was seeing/hearing. After reading this. I think the method is even more peacefull then I orignally thought.

How did she look after you closed the videocall?
She had some make-up on. So I didn't see her skin or lips turn blue. Perhas it was the quality of the webcam. But her skin color looked normal. This could have changed after I ended the call.

Afterthoughts
A few notes we need to consider is that allot of methods are messy. If we look at jumping infront of a train, jumping off a building or shooting yourself. Then it's gonna be messy. I think in general this method is pretty quick and relatively peacefull. Suicide will always be a bit messy. And using this method atleast your body will be in one piece. If possible I would suggest getting N. But I think everyone knows that by this point.

You're reading this because getting N is not an option. And allot of people seem to be using this method. Originally I wanted to hang myself. After founding this forum and learning about SN. I wanted it to be my choice of CTB. After witnissing Moonie's CTB. I would still use this method. Unless I can magically get N. I think this method isn't the best. But if you look at how easy it is to all the stuff and how fast it is. Then this is def a method to consider.

Moonie if you're reading this. Thank you so much for being my friend during your last days. I had allot of fun with you. And I will remember forever. As promised I will set up the wishing balloon tonight and watch it fly to the moon.

Kind regards Lotus1818,

It hurts my heart that this all took place. I hope that she is in a better place now. I don't mean to sound ignorant or stupid, but apart from her not moving at the end of the video call, how do you know that no one came across her body and she was saved? How was he account removed?

She didn't take much- what do you think would have happened if she doubled the dose? Do you think it would have been a quicker death? After seeing this documentation it definitely makes me no longer want to do CO2. Also- was she very thin? I am just trying to understand the dose in comparison to body weight. Living through the side effect os this method seem tragic!