Hey all,
This site is quite the stumble upon.
I've been planning on setting a CTB date within the next 3 weeks for the past couple of months.
I don't have a lot of friends, by choice... only about 3. One is my roommate/ex, I've told him about ending things but have asked him to respect my wishes. He has, but he's been trying very hard to be attentive and sweet. Which is nice, but too little too late. (Relationship wise, we're best friends)
The man I fell in love with this year also is aware. He isn't the reason for this, but when we fell apart I decided I was done with relationships. I had given my all for the last time. He is broken, unable to love. But I know he is the one. And I know we'll never be together. This tortures me daily. It's a complicated story, I'm just babbling.
My best girlfriend doesn't know. I won't tell her. She is young and won't understand.
Three weeks ago I lost my job. We were an essential business during this Covid BS... we were so busy we just got bonuses. But I was let go after 9 years. Myself and the part timer. Not my bosses best friend that he hired 3 months ago. Me. After 9 years. That was my tipping point. I don't want to start a new job over.
Since I lost my job, I've lost my health insurance. I was on a mild anti-depressant/anti-anxiety. It helped a bit. But I stopped taking it because I wont be able to afford it. Yes I know the repercussions. No my decision isn't a result of this.
I've started canceling things. Going through my possessions. Eating whatever I want. I'm trying to set my roommate up with a nest egg, as we have a house together. Everything is in his name so no worries there. I've started writing my letters. I've started the process of a will.
I'm planning on exit bag method. I have skimmed the mega thread, that's what brought me here. I need to reskim as I am concerned about obtaining the tank. I get nervous about everything (see above anxiety comment).
I had a stupid bucket list. I wanted to go away for a couple of days but everything is shut down because of Covid. I don't feel like waiting for it to end.
TMI, I wanted to have sex with the man previously mentioned. He shot me down. We were sleeping together for the first 3 months of this year and it was the best ever... and he shot me down. If that doesn't epitomize my pathetic life I'm not sure what does.
I had rambled on Reddit one night but this seems like a better idea. Just... hope everyone is where they need to be right now. I'm not sure how to give a kind compliment, but that's what I meant.
This site is quite the stumble upon.
I've been planning on setting a CTB date within the next 3 weeks for the past couple of months.
I don't have a lot of friends, by choice... only about 3. One is my roommate/ex, I've told him about ending things but have asked him to respect my wishes. He has, but he's been trying very hard to be attentive and sweet. Which is nice, but too little too late. (Relationship wise, we're best friends)
The man I fell in love with this year also is aware. He isn't the reason for this, but when we fell apart I decided I was done with relationships. I had given my all for the last time. He is broken, unable to love. But I know he is the one. And I know we'll never be together. This tortures me daily. It's a complicated story, I'm just babbling.
My best girlfriend doesn't know. I won't tell her. She is young and won't understand.
Three weeks ago I lost my job. We were an essential business during this Covid BS... we were so busy we just got bonuses. But I was let go after 9 years. Myself and the part timer. Not my bosses best friend that he hired 3 months ago. Me. After 9 years. That was my tipping point. I don't want to start a new job over.
Since I lost my job, I've lost my health insurance. I was on a mild anti-depressant/anti-anxiety. It helped a bit. But I stopped taking it because I wont be able to afford it. Yes I know the repercussions. No my decision isn't a result of this.
I've started canceling things. Going through my possessions. Eating whatever I want. I'm trying to set my roommate up with a nest egg, as we have a house together. Everything is in his name so no worries there. I've started writing my letters. I've started the process of a will.
I'm planning on exit bag method. I have skimmed the mega thread, that's what brought me here. I need to reskim as I am concerned about obtaining the tank. I get nervous about everything (see above anxiety comment).
I had a stupid bucket list. I wanted to go away for a couple of days but everything is shut down because of Covid. I don't feel like waiting for it to end.
TMI, I wanted to have sex with the man previously mentioned. He shot me down. We were sleeping together for the first 3 months of this year and it was the best ever... and he shot me down. If that doesn't epitomize my pathetic life I'm not sure what does.
I had rambled on Reddit one night but this seems like a better idea. Just... hope everyone is where they need to be right now. I'm not sure how to give a kind compliment, but that's what I meant.
