For me life is not worth living anymore being single at 27

[FireFox]

You're assuming they even live in a place where this is practicable. Many of us are stuck in small towns filled with boomers.

@blacksand most meet ups are organised by much older people it's hard to meet people nowadays.

Universities are really the only places where people in their 20s can meet others but now its the norm to be already in relationship at university and not single anymore like previous generations had.

Everyone at university has a relationship except me . The university I attend has a lot of overseas students and these people already have partners at home or partners in the UK working.

I feel outnumbered by the people in relationships and I now believe single people are just a minority.

Almost no woman gets 'picked'. It's the other way around… you should really consider trying a dating app, you are a woman, you will find a match it's almost certain.

@Ozzyno I have read numerous studies that black women dont get picked on dating apps even on YouTube there are multiple stories black women share about how hard it is to get picked on a dating apps and other races have better success rates

I have ZERO CHANCE of getting picked when dating apps are full of super attractive white women will get chosen over me. If I was a 10 I would use a dating app but I am on the average spectrum with is the worst of both worlds. Being average looking is the worst because some people think you are pretty while others think you are ugly and others think you are just plain .

I don't want to go through that. Dating apps only work for super attractive woman because it gives men more options to chose from.

 

[Ozzyno]

I don't want to go through that. Dating apps only work for super attractive woman because it gives men more options to chose from.

It gives MEN more options? I am starting to believe you are trolling because there is no way any sane person thinks that dating apps are a way for men to CHOOSE anything. 95% of men don't choose their partner, they are in relationship with women that choose them.

Unless you want to be in a relationship with the kind of man that can choose his partner (extremely attractive or extremely rich), in that case you should only blame yourself for you loneliness, you can absolutely find someone. Men are much less picky than women when it comes to superficial things such as looks and status, both financial and social.

 

[FireFox]

It gives MEN more options? I am starting to believe you are trolling because there is no way any sane person thinks that dating apps are a way for men to CHOOSE anything. 95% of men don't choose their partner, they are in relationship with women that choose them.

Unless you want to be in a relationship with the kind of man that can choose his partner (extremely attractive or extremely rich), in that case you should only blame yourself for you loneliness, you can absolutely find someone. Men are much less picky than women when it comes to superficial things such as looks and status, both financial and social.

@Ozzyno Oh my god i am so fucking sick of this men 100% have an advantage in dating everyone knows it.

I ask men out and I get dumped every time days before our scheduled. Women tell me all the time men like to chase and its the role for a man to ask out a woman.

Women are not allowed to take control in relationships its the man who decides what will be happening. Even if western countries where we there is liberal democracy and gender equality men ulimately want to be the ones chase and ask out women.

 

[Ozzyno]

@Ozzyno Oh my god i am so fucking sick of this men 100% have an advantage in dating everyone knows it.

I ask men out and I get dumped every time days before our scheduled. Women tell me all the time men like to chase and its the role for a man to ask out a woman.

Women are not allowed to take control in relationships its the man who decides what will be happening. Even if western countries where we there is liberal democracy and gender equality men ulimately want to be the ones chase and ask out women.

Yea the point of men asking out women is that it's women that gets dozens of messages from men wanting to know them.

The majority of men will never get an opportunity if they don't ask anyone because women are the ones that get to choose from the options they get (those invitations). In the meantime men try approaching women and for the most part they get rejected.

If you don't realise that the dating world is this thing right here I just explained there are two options:
- You don't go out so you don't put yourself into the market
- You are so unappealing that as a woman you don't get chances

Both those things are really easy to solve for you: don't be too skinny or too fat, fix your personal hygiene and fix your teeth if they are crooked. This is the standard to start getting invitations from men. You don't need to have money, a great salary, be at least 'this' tall or all those bullshit women ASK men to have just to be acceptable.

I find it very difficult that you can't find young people since you mentioned you live in a big city. Attending any kind of class, course, hobby etc will assure you that you'll meet people.

 

[FireFox]

Yea the point of men asking out women is that it's women that gets dozens of messages from men wanting to know them.

The majority of men will never get an opportunity if they don't ask anyone because women are the ones that get to choose from the options they get (those invitations). In the meantime men try approaching women and for the most part they get rejected.

If you don't realise that the dating world is this thing right here I just explained there are two options:
- You don't go out so you don't put yourself into the market
- You are so unappealing that as a woman you don't get chances

Both those things are really easy to solve for you: don't be too skinny or too fat, fix your personal hygiene and fix your teeth if they are crooked. This is the standard to start getting invitations from men. You don't need to have money, a great salary, be at least 'this' tall or all those bullshit women ASK men to have just to be acceptable.

I find it very difficult that you can't find young people since you mentioned you live in a big city. Attending any kind of class, course, hobby etc will assure you that you'll meet people.

@Ozzyno How come you are still single then since you know everything and think it's so easy to meet someone ?

There is nothing wrong with my appearance and I regularly take care of myself. I meet people but everywhere I go everyone already has a partner it's more common for people in their 20s to be in relationships than be single. I know more people in relationships than not in relationships.

 

[Ozzyno]

@Ozzyno How come you are still single then since you know everything and think it's so easy to meet someone ?

There is nothing wrong with my appearance and I regularly take care of myself. I meet people but everywhere I go everyone already has a partner it's more common for people in their 20s to be in relationships than be single. I know more people in relationships than not in relationships.

I'm still single mostly because I can't install a dating app and choose a woman like if I was shopping like you are describing we are doing.

I'm still single also because I won't settle for ANYONE. I'm not picky over looks and status but it shouldn't feel like I am in a constant defending position. There is no love in fear and I don't want to be with a woman that wants to control the relationship by bringing fear into my life.

Never met a sensible woman in my life, always so superficial.

 

[BlockHammer]

Im not gonna said i understand your pain cause eventhough we have similarities (like never been in a relationship) it didn't hurt me that much, still if you really want to kill yourself you should at least try everything first, cause if you dead then it's over.

Still i wouldn't judge you cause i don't live your life

 

[FireFox]

I think it's going to be hard to believe but there is still time for you.

You're still in what I can call, the best years of life, try to socialize like going to a gym, parties, events. I know that saying this is not fair, but nice clothers, nice hair, a nice fragrance can help you a lot. Some hairdressers are like magic, hair is a part of woman that can make a incredible change.

I cant complain, as a man, a lot of woman appears in my life but find the right partner in life is becoming like wining the lottery. The worst part is when you get a "winning ticket" but it has a lot of owners.... I really hate modern days, find a partner that was polygamous defines my last hope of finding love, i'm too old now and have to accept it. I could choice the first one that appears, but for me, love was in first place.

Hope you can find your way and still be happy. You're not wishing a fortune, a impossible dream, just someone to love you and someone that you will love.

@LukaParrot Everyday I am just crying even today I am crying too because everyone else I grew up with is now married and here is me always unsuccessful with men. More and more I feel like its never going to happen for me finding love.

I would have made a great girlfriend and wife to someone but no man ever gave me a chance they wanted another woman or tell me I am good enough for them. Once you realise your going to be alone forever life no longer becomes worth living.

I no longer enjoy anything anymore. I go to places by myself and do activities by myself and all I see is couples everywhere. It's reminder of love I never got to experience while everyone else gets picked.

Im not gonna said i understand your pain cause eventhough we have similarities (like never been in a relationship) it didn't hurt me that much, still if you really want to kill yourself you should at least try everything first, cause if you dead then it's over.

Still i wouldn't judge you cause i don't live your life

@BlockHammer I have gone through so much rejection I can longer cope anymroe. Before I never used to cry now I am crying everyday because all my life I have been the girl now woman who never gets picked.

I feel like an enormous failure of a woman because something so naturally other women other women can do i can't do.

I no longer enjoy anything anymore. I am always tired and flu like because my depression has progressed rapidly.

All I ever wanted was to be loved and be someone's partner.

For what it's worth I'm a white British man who has and would date black women. A family on my street has a black mum and white dad. Still you are right that this is less common. Just wanted to say there is still hope.

I'm sorry you have had so much rejection. Especially the horrible treatment at school. Children can be bastards.

@vitbar The stereotypes about black and white women do not help either. All I know is society sees black women as people with attitude problems even our own community promotes these stereotypes.

I know an older Caribbean woman in my community and her black son last I heard was involved with a Greek woman. The Caribbean woman said didn't want her son dating someone from her culture because Caribbean women have "attitude." I have even heard from other black people that say "white women are easy" to date.

sometimes i so wish i was born a pretty blonde because men will want to date me and I will be seen as pretty by society.

 

[Manfrotto99]

@yowai Growing up I always saw the other girls at school including friends of mine get boyfriends and have boys notice them while I got left behind. In adulthood seeing women I grew up with now getting married is just reminder of how all my life I have always been the woman who never gets picked while everyone else is chosen.

I do activities by myself and go to places by myself its so upsetting how everywhere I see women with their being taken out to places and having fun.

Sometimes I don't even feel like a real woman because I got to experience the normal milestones every woman experiences.

@EvisceratedJester There are even numerous YouTube videos of black women sharing how hard it is for black women to get chosen on dating apps.

What i don't like about being a black woman is men don't see as pretty like other races even our own men don't want us. Growing I always saw how men pursue white women or Asian women more while black women and girls were we just made fun of for her hair not being real if we wear weaves and other features like big lips etc.

As a teenager I was even told I was pretty for a black girl by a white boy.

I wish I was born blue eyed blonde haired because i wil be the social standard of beauty and men would want to date me. i do feel being blonde is an advantage even guys I really wanted always chose the blonde over me. My grandmother even said I shouldn't puruse relations with black men because they are attracted to white women more.

Dating apps are full of attractive white women with blonde, red hair etc what chance

I'm short with dark hair and experienced well over my fair share of rejections from men. I do agree with what you stay, there are stereotypes in our culture that have advantages, blondes are definitely more advantaged and have greater choice when dating. Fair hair and long legs were the thing that all the single men chased after when I was younger.

However personality plays a big part too. I was always way too quiet. Most men like loud, confident women who "know what they want and how to get it". This goes a very long way as it makes a man feel important and boosts his ego. My confidence was always lacking due to my abusive upbringing. Even if I had the fair hair and long legs, my quiet demenour would have put me in a very disadvantaged position when dating. It's the combination of nurture and nature that makes a woman attractive. Family and connections are important too as they provide a sense of security and belonging that is attractive, plus they also open up choice and opportunities to meet men.

Still there are all kinds of men with different tastes out there and many things you can do now days ( especially if you have money) to make yourself more attractive and fit into a sexually appealing cultural stereotype that a lot of men find attractive. A lot of men love the big booty, big lips that dark woman have. Maybe get some breast implants if your lacking there. A bit of spot fat reduction may also help to create the perfect sexy hour glass figure. Play up on your natural features, go to the gym and show off and work that big booty out. Have your hair straightened, if you want. Find other dark sexy woman to connect with and be your role mode, I'm sure there must be plenty on instagram. Stop focusing on Asian and the fair haired women. I'm sure there are things about your black culture that you can play into too. A dark woman can be very alluring, mysterious and exciting to a white men.

You are still young and dark women usually age very well anyway. Play around, have fun with your looks, dress seductively but classy, be creative with your image. Most of all do it for yourself, learn about yourself in the process and create your own beautiful unique image that reflects who you are. I'm sure you will feel sexy and be more attractive in no time....and even if you don't get the man you want, at least you will feel more confident in yourself and that will win men over.

 

[needthebus]

@blacksand most meet ups are organised by much older people it's hard to meet people nowadays.

Universities are really the only places where people in their 20s can meet others but now its the norm to be already in relationship at university and not single anymore like previous generations had.

Everyone at university has a relationship except me . The university I attend has a lot of overseas students and these people already have partners at home or partners in the UK working.

I feel outnumbered by the people in relationships and I now believe single people are just a minority.

@Ozzyno I have read numerous studies that black women dont get picked on dating apps even on YouTube there are multiple stories black women share about how hard it is to get picked on a dating apps and other races have better success rates

I have ZERO CHANCE of getting picked when dating apps are full of super attractive white women will get chosen over me. If I was a 10 I would use a dating app but I am on the average spectrum with is the worst of both worlds. Being average looking is the worst because some people think you are pretty while others think you are ugly and others think you are just plain .

I don't want to go through that. Dating apps only work for super attractive woman because it gives men more options to chose from.

I believe what you are saying.

It's true that some black men date white women, reducing the number of black men who date black women. The additional other races who date black women increase the dating pool, but it doesn't balance out the overall loss caused by black men dating white women.

I think people are saying it's not so hard and you should try and this and that. I want to acknowledge that if you are an average black woman and want a normal monogamous heterosexual relationship, sometimes it is hard.

I also want to point out you could go on Bumble or other Apps and just not pay anything and allocate 1 day per week in which you spend 2 hours on these Apps and 1 day per week when you are open to date and just see what happens. If you did this, it could still be unlikely.

If people have never approached you romantically, then it's a difficult spot to be in. You could also try a romance coach to see if there is something you are doing, wearing, saying etc that is putting people off romantically. It may not be entirely how you look and could be about social skills if you are in fact average. All of this requires effort and possibly feeling hope followed by letdowns and just the frustration that happens when trying to improve life.

I get feeling like it's not worth it. I don't date for similar reasons. I used to have an above average face. Genetics or possibly psychiatric medication or depression made me look worse, combined with age. I am not sure if I am cute anymore and i am definitely out of shape. I also don't know how to discuss with dates that because of sexual violence I have damaged sensation, a difficult time reaching climac without any sort of Hurculean effort, and may have a panic attack during sex. I used to be fun in bed. I am not anymore. I get just not being willing to do dating apps, but also wishing life were different and there were someone special there.

There used to be some dating sites, like possibly OK cupid, that allowed you to search by race for what you wanted. You could sign up for something like that and just do nothing and wait to see if anyone is interested. I get it if you're over it, however.

I really like your directness and honesty and hope things unexpectedly work out for you. You seem cool. But I totally don't think you are just being irrational or whatever, I'm sure it's hard for even above average looking black women, I believe you when you say you are average. Life is just hard sometimes.

You could also write a book. Give it one more try, as an average black woman, and write a book after. Call it average black woman dating. And just you either succeed or fail, but you could write a book. I bet people would read it. You tend to write long posts easily, I bet you could write a book in no time if you gave it a go. You have a distinct voice when you write. You're mostly very relatable, but frustrated. I feel llike others could see themselves in your experiences.