Guilt Over Smiling or Laughter?

[MelancholyMagic]

I was doing some reading recently (which I rarely do, because my attention span is terrible) and came across this quote:

"During that time not a smile escaped me without my reproaching myself for it, as for a crime."

Apparently it's attributed to Voltaire, but I'm not sure if he actually wrote it – I briefly searched it online and couldn't find anything.

Anyways, my question is this: Does anyone feel bad about smiling or laughing? Like you see a funny video online and let out a small laugh, and then feel bad afterwards that you laughed about something in this horrific world? You may think "How can I laugh when suffering is all around me?", or something like that?

Sorry if this has already been posted about - I searched quickly and didn't see anything.

 

[Deleted member 8975]

I used to LOVE smiling and laughter as a kid till we moved to a hood and like everyone I always treated everyone with suspicion around me. So I became conditioned to hide smiling because people would size me up or look at me like something was wrong with me.

It really was brainwashing and it stuck with me till now. I wish I could undo it.

 

[dreadpirateroberts69]

Sometimes I feel guilty for appearing happy at times because I fear it makes me seem to others like I'm doing ok. When in actuality it feels almost inevitable that I will kill myself someday. I just don't want it to catch my loved ones completely off guard when it happens...

 

[Foresight]

I don't feel bad when I smile even if the world is terrible. I'm actually the type to find humor in everything. What can I do? The world being terrible wasn't by my design. I do the best I can to help and try not to cause further suffering for others. I do have a general problem with smiling and laughing. I went so long without it that it's as if I lost the muscles to even do it. It feels a bit foreign to me now.

 

[noname223]

I was doing some reading recently (which I rarely do, because my attention span is terrible) and came across this quote:

"During that time not a smile escaped me without my reproaching myself for it, as for a crime."

Apparently it's attributed to Voltaire, but I'm not sure if he actually wrote it – I briefly searched it online and couldn't find anything.

Anyways, my question is this: Does anyone feel bad about smiling or laughing? Like you see a funny video online and let out a small laugh, and then feel bad afterwards that you laughed about something in this horrific world? You may think "How can I laugh when suffering is all around me?", or something like that?

Sorry if this has already been posted about - I searched quickly and didn't see anything.

I think noone talked about this before. But reposting a topic is not that bad imo. There are always new members and new views on it.

The only time I feel guilty about laughing is when I laughed about someone innocent. I stopped doing that. Or at least I try it. But when I was a teenager I got severely bullied in school. This is one reason why I became bipolar. School was torture but also the violence at home. I can remember one time. A close friend of mine did something really really embarrassing as a teenager. However it was never proved if he really did it or if he was innocent. Many people mocked him for that. I was so scared about the bullies (because I was always a easy target too) that I also laughed about it.
I feel guilty till today about it.

One last remark in order to defend myself. My best friend also laughed sometimes about me as a teenager. Not as bad as others but sometimes. Now he is almost the best friend you can imagine. Moreover other best friends betrayed me as a teenager too. My former best friend turned out to be my worst enemy. He was one of my main bullies. (But that is another person than my best friend nowadays.)

I think laughing Is not something bad. Being able to laugh about oneself is very important. Though I barely have this ability. There is enough bitternes in this world. And WIttgenstein said the most profound and serious questions only can be talked in form of jokes. Sometimes laughing is a valve. I laugh sometimes about how ridiculous cynical my life is.

This is my stance on this topic.

 

[demuic]

I can really only laugh at absurdism these days. Besides that the only things left are anger and misery. I am generally quite serious and don't display emotions on my face. It feels unnatural for me to smile.

Laughter can be cruel.

 

[Wrennie]

I made the connection that whenever I smiled or felt an inkling of happiness that it was usually followed by an unfortunate event. I came to believe that by allowing myself to feel happiness that it could only bring about misfortune, so at a time when I was still capable of experiencing such feelings I'd deliberately act to suppress them so as not to invite tragedy.

Counterproductive, I now know, because then I'd just be miserable 24/7 (which is a type of tragic occurrence in & of itself).

 

[CogitoMori]

That or feeling like I must be faking my depression if I'm able to smile sometimes